No Christmas spirit.

Why have you found it so difficult ann?

You don't have to celebrate.

DH with Alzheimer's. DD has first Christmas separated from her H after 23 years of marriage and he has moved on while DD has not. And a general feeling of disillusionment . Sorry for the downer.

You're not alone, annsixty. I'm only going through the motions for my DDs and GC.

Second year without DH. He was always the one who really loved Christmas and it's not the same now but it must be got through somehow!

Ann - I think that Christmas is a good excuse to spend a short time doing things that help to take the mind of all the things in life that cause that disillusionment. Landmarks like Christmas can be difficult - I know that I, like you, will be thinking how OH was last Christmas and feeling a bit sad that things have worsened; OH has a degenerative disease and I know that he is markedly worse now.

I do know how difficult it is and truly hope that there will be things for you to enjoy, even if life is less than ideal for your family. We just have to keep going somehow.

A Christian perspective on Christmas reminds us that it is not all jingle bells and fairies on the tree, but of future suffering and death as a expressed in the third gift of the Magi - myrrh
"Myrrh is mine its bitter perfume, breathes of life of gathering gloom, sorrowing, sighing, bleeding dying"
I think it is the modern Tinseltown version of Ho, Ho, Ho Christmas which is so inappropriate and hurtful for many.
Christmas is about family and love and you annsixty are providing the love and being the linchpin in your family.
You are not alone, believe me. This may be a happy time for many but it is also a time of loneliness and loss.

This Christmas is going to be a lot different , but we will make it as good as we can . If I lie down under things I feel I would pull the rest of the family with me , so I keep the bright side out . This time last year OH was walking and driving , now he needs help with everything , but he has a visitor this evening and it has really cheered us . So I hope something or someone can help you too

I do understand ann, I feel much the same and I've always said it's just another day. My dd is spending her first Christmas without her girls, as she and idiot are getting divorced, and my ds is spending the day with an unfaithful wife and their children and then they move to separate homes houses in January. I've been invited for the day but it's too upsetting for me to see those children on their last Christmas as a family. I know they'll adjust but it's horrible.

Lona {{hugs}}

Oh so many good wishes for everyone who feels like me.

I do understand Christmas can be difficult sometimes. My son died at age 4 in 1984 on the 17th of December after a horrendous illness and failed treatment but I had 2 other children to think of and although the adults that year obviously had no presents I was shopping for them on Christmas Eve so they had a Christmas because it was unthinkable they would wake up on Christmas morning with nothing, four days earlier we were all at their brothers funeral.

The years after that were bad a place less always at the table always buying toys for one less child but it gradually got somewhat better and now I spend every Christmas with my daughters and my beautiful grandchildren who make it special once more.

Life is not fair or always how we would want it. It helped that my faith helped me to cope I knew my son was safe. Most of all life is infinitely precious and to be lived. I hope all who are sad this Christmas will have hope for the future we cannot know what that may be

It's so cruel when children die.

Thanks Jinglebellsfrocks it is but I know my son made an impact in his short life and I know mothers are biased but he was a truly special child. He taught me a lot and he knew he was truly loved and that is all we can wish for.
A very Happy Christmas to you and your family

I blame the ads for raising false expectations of Christmas. There is constant harping on about families but for those who don't have one this must just make things worse.

All good wishes to everyone 'celebrating' alone or in difficult circumstances. 25/12 is just another day and the new year may bring better times. Cheers!

I feel so sad reading this thread. {{hugs}} to annsixty and everyone else who needs one. As Alea says, it certainly isn't all about jingle bells and fairies.

And to you and yours Twiceasnice. x

Ann I've had very sad Christmases too - my Dad died very suddenly on Christmas Eve 39 years ago and like others for years I 'went through the motions' for the sake of others. Even now after all these years the run up to Christmas is hard for me. So no, you are not alone and there are many many others who share grief and sadness at this time.
I try to just concentrate on the message of love and peace that is the real meaning of Christmas and forget the artificiality.

My DGD who has had a very difficult time in her 17 years arrived about an hour ago to spend the night with us. She has just got a student job for Christmas with a major supermarket and did her first day today. She is shattered but happy and has lifted my spirits no end. She is on tills not my choice but work ethic is so important in my book. Feeling happier than earlier.

That's good to hear ann. I hope she enjoys it - I still remember the excitement of holiday & Saturday jobs and the thrill of earning £3 a week!

I'm the same about Christmas. Would happily ignore it but I'm now married to someone who enjoys it so I do my best. Every year is harder.

Oh yes, I absolutely loved working on the tills in a well-known supermarket in my younger days! Well done to your GD, annsixty.

Annsixty You are not alone, I am of that frame of mind and it just gets worse.
My OH is not exactly a bundle of fun. Spends hours on his computer, and has no sense of humour. So I don't do anything much. No one else is around on Christmas day. My daughter & co will be at her mother in law's as my Dgs's cousins are staying. I don't begrudge them that. It will be more fun for the children than I will have.

So I will be part of the loners on Christmas Day we need a virtual christmas party.

A lot of rotten things have happened around this time of year. 69 years ago tomorrow, I was sent to hospital, a frightened and very ill 6-year-old, destined to spend three weeks in isolation over Christmas. Twelve years ago, my aunt died just before Christmas and eight days later, my uncle followed her. I was holding the fort and organising funerals with acute laryngitis, though I had a great support from DSs. Thirty years ago at New Year, my OH told me he was leaving; 41 years ago, DS2 was poorly and waiting to go into hospital for major surgery - but on the bright side, he is now a hale and hearty middle-aged dad and partner. Many things leave their mark and although rejection is harsh, I have been a more fulfilled person on my own than in an unsupportive marrriage.
Now I have my five GC who never fail to fill me with Christmas spirit when I see them and share that happy time with them.

ann glad that your dgd has cheered you up tonight! I loved working with the public, it makes you realise how many nice people there are ( amongst the grumpies). Good for her!
Nellie there will be quite a few of us, as usual