My heart is breaking for my child.

Sorry to hear about your Mum luckylegs - how painful it must be to know that it was avoidable. I cannot imagine how you and Katek's DD can with this. How very sad.

To lose a loved one through negligence is just hell on earth I know that from personal experience. I lost my lovely mother when I was a young woman because of it and just met with brick walls from the medical profession. After the inquest I had to put all my feelings in a box and hide it in order to bring my very young children up. I find I cannot think of it, the pain is still too much. Not a solution at all I suppose, but I didn't want to be be bitter and involve the children in my hurt, so that is what I did. Talking is meant to help but I find it takes me back to those feelings and I cannot cope with them. Thinking of you all, but the hugs won't be wasted Katek she needs all the strength to get through it, having you there will make all the difference.

So hard for you all Katek. Thinking of you and your grieving DD

Katek I've only just caught up with this thread. I am so sorry for what your poor DD has been through and feel for you in your support of her. I hope that later it will help her to know that she has done everything to expose this negligence.

(((Hugs))) Katek, thinking of you x

Dd off to see solicitor on Friday to discuss her options. She's asked me to go with her and, in preparation, I've had to read the reports which was very hard indeed. It doesn't get any easier.

Just be there, and be strong, for your DD, as I'm sure you are Katy

Perhaps you can take a bit of comfort from the fact that by exposing such bad practice you might improve care and save others going through what you've all had to suffer.

kate Nick Robinson discussing the issue of things going wrong with Dame Julie Mellor, and what relatives can do, on the Today Programme Radio 4 about 8.35 today. It might help you.
I can only add my sympathy to what others have written.

Katek, I feel for you all and there can't be a loving parent who doesnt empathise with your feeling of helplessness in the face of your DD and DGD's pain. we would all rather take that pain ourselves, a million times over, than see our beloved DC and DGC suffer so.

As many have said here, your love and support will help them to get through this.

I hope that time helps to gently heal the pain for you all. Sending hugs (((xxx)))

Katek, I am deeply sorry for you and for your dd dgd. It is in our dna to want to protect and help our children and I am sure that, just by being there, you are more help to your dd than you could know. I am sure she is right in wanting to get to the bottom of this tragedy. I wish you all the very best.

KateK and best wishes to both you and your daughter as you work your way through this difficult time.

So sorry for your sadness, Katek, but your family have you and that must help. You will all get through this.

katek no words to add. Just hugs and to you all.

Biggest hugs,Katek

I do hope you can have a restful evening Katek and wake tomorrow feeling a bit restored x

Thank you all once more for your kind and supportive messages. They mean a lot. It's been a strange weekend-have had to be 'up' delivering 100% for panto but my heart/head were distracted. Panto now finished and we're all tidied up so planning a quiet evening in my jammies with a takeaway. We will see what tomorrow brings.

katek

So painful for you as her mother, and for her as mother of her little girl.
I hope the investigation is cleared up quickly and you can all start living again.

katek

A long time ago I expressed concern that a very close friend had asked me to accompany her to a situation that was very painful for her but had not wanted me to come into the house with her. I was told then that 'you cannot protect people from their own pain'. It has proved very good advice over the years and I have had the privilege of witnessing the cathartic effect that a 'meltdown' can have whilst waiting in the wings to give that hug so many recommend. It is so much harder to bear when that person going though it is your own child I know from experience. Granjura is right to suggest help via the GP for your child and her family. I have seen such help prove very effective too.

As my mum used to see "This too will pass". When my husband was very ill years ago these words seemed of limited comfort at the time because I did not want him to be someone I'd loved and lost, but remembering them enabled me to sob as I cleaned the house and had a healing effect.

because I can think of no words.

Katek - that is so sad and it is very hard to watch your child have to grieve again for what should have been. ?

I would like to add to all the wonderful messages of love and support that are coming to you all. Lots of hugs for DD and GD and keep SIL in the front of their minds as often as possible. Your daughter is right to find out the truth and may help others with her persistence. It is such a sad time for you all but stay strong and you will get through it.