Unexpected visitors

I don't know anybody who has a 'sterile' home, they all look lived in and that includes mine. But I agree with Gagagran, what's wrong with a quick phone call to check it's OK to pop round? What if you were ill in bed or something? You'd still be trying to welcome them warmly and make them feel welcome! Surprises like the big ones mentioned are different, but just calling on spec is a bit rude in my world.

I'm too embarrassed to tell you what my sewing room dining room looks like

'paperback back' ?

Have to agree Bellanonna. Sterile isn't a concept my house would understand. As I type I'm sitting on the sofa, which I'm sharing with a part-knitted jumper for my GD, an A4 paperback back of patchwork ideas together with a bunch of fat quarters, my Kindle and my iPhone.
On the coffee table next to me I have buttons, tape measure, a pair of knitting needles, pin cushion. And nearby there is a little pile of knitting and crochet books, an A4 pocket file of patterns printed from the internet, and my wallet of knitpro needles. All this detritus is pretty much a permanent feature as all these things are in constant use. I have got a tiny set of drawers as well, which sit at the book of the table next to the wall, which contain lots of other handicraft bits and bobs - row counters, needles, cotton reels, scissors, stitch holders, crochet hooks, circular knitting needles.
Oh, and on the floor under the table is my round knitting basket, which is overflowing with wool waiting to be knitted up. Plus a bag of wool recently delivered which won't fit into the basket .

I find those kind of sterile homes intimidating, Stillhere. I've got bookcases each side of the fireplaces, crammed with all kinds of books, and other bits and bobs that make up our daily lives. Those minimalist houses don't seem very loved imo.

I have always been the visited,friends sense they welcome,can always find something to throw in oven even if the food is mismatched as it is short notice..for that reason would always have impromptu kitchen suppers..someone can always nip out for a few cans or bottles of wine..I dont feel comfortable with just dropping in and wait to be invited or send text to see if convenient...we had to leave all our friends behind when we moved ...and I miss it all..

SusieB50 what a lovely story

stillhere you can drop in on me anytime you like. You sound like my kind of person

Indinana - reminds me of a very happy "drop in".My mum was from South Africa. Some years ago her brother and his wife flew in to Heathrow around 7 in the morning and suddenly appeared at the kitchen window having crept round the back ! Mum nearly had a heart attack,but it was fantastic as she hadn't worn herself out preparing for them weeks before - which was their plan! Lots of tears and laughter. Everyone pitched in making up beds and cooking together and it was lovely. I love unexpected visitors, they come to see you not your house and if anyone looks a bit aghast at the untidy house or my scruffy appearance then they aren't really friends or loving family are they ?

Had a similar situation, Gagagran, staying in a holiday home near PiL, when DH's Father CAME RIGHT IN at 8 a.m. I didn't help by being paralytic
with laughter under the bedclothes. SiL and BiL nearly had seizures laughing too when we confided later.

PS my house is a tip, everyone always says how comfortable they feel in it and how 'cosy' it is. They have to shift aside books, knitting, mending and boxes of seeds to sit down, as I am always picking up various things to do! But it is clean underneath. I go to some houses and they look like showrooms, not a book or even a picture in sight, sometimes.

I love people just turning up, I always have had a sort of open house. It just shocked me when I found with a couple of my surprise visitors that I wasn't allowed to do it back!

There is a link to a list of acronyms at the right-hand end of the strip of blue buttons near the top of the page. It doesn't have IYKWIM (if you know what I mean) but it does have IYCWIM (if you see what I mean - which has a C instead of an S)

My oh is really messy and if honest a bit of a hoarder. Our coffee table will have magazine,letters and bits and Bob's (I'll sort it soon - he says !) So after many years of trying to change him,or sort it myself (impossible) I've leant to live with organised chaos but am mortified if anyone calls in without me having the time for it to (temporarily disappear ) Why is it that us women feel it is us being judged by a messy home when it is our oh that has caused it ? I'd love to have a neat and tidy home but unless I am prepared to go it alone that will never happen.

Thrilled - I hadn't seen that acronym either, but thought about it and it just came to me. I like puzzles, if you know what I mean ! Acronyms save typing.
Yes I agree, but I'd probably need more than a few minutes. I'm going out later and still in bathrobe, so that for a start would be embarrassing. Yes, I would definitely discourage a casual knock at the door. Even the DDs are polite enough to ring first although I wouldn't mind them

I don't want to be an old grouch but I've got no idea what you're trying to say Coolgran65! What is IYKWIM? I don't really get all these abbreviations. If we're typing a whole message why try & cut a few random words out?
That said, love friends round but am also mortified if the house is a tip (at least to me!) & appreciate just a few minutes notice!

My worst experience of an unexpected caller was when we were first married and in an early evening intimate situation. Knock on the door - DH peeped out of the window and it was his Father! It was an excruciatingly embarrassing bustle round to get decent, tidy up and let him in.

Now we live just one mile from DD and her family but neither of us call on spec. - always a quick phone call to check it's OK to call in. I think it's just good manners to do so even though there would be nil chance of her catching us like her Granddad did all those years ago!

Depends who it is, when it is and why they have come! Think I like the concept more than the reality and I just love Marmite

Indinana that's such a lovely memory.

I admit I don't like unexpected visitors because for a couple of reasons. I've had problems with depression for years and regard my home as my sanctuary, somewhere I don't have to pretend every thing is fine. Not many people know about the depression and would never guess because I am a naturally friendly person. But keeping a happy face all the time is exhausting, so at home I don't have to pretend. I am fine at the moment, but I still like to see people when it suits me (and them). The other reason is I struggle to keep the house nice and it bothers me that someone sees my house when it's untidy. It's my problem, but I can't help it. I am getting less bothered, but I still care too much what other people think.

In the same way, I would not turn up unexpectedly at anyone else's house, unless they'd said it was OK to do that.

When my two DC were very small there was a knock at the door very early one Saturday morning. About 6.30. We were all in bed - that is me and the DC. DH was at work. I went downstairs pulling on my dressing gown, and opened the door. There stood my brother, his wife and their two little girls . They lived about 300 miles away and had suddenly decided the night before to get the girls out of bed and drive down to see us. For the day. Once we'd all stopped laughing, I dashed back upstairs to make myself presentable. When I got back downstairs my SiL was washing up our dirty dishes from the night before and my DB was making me some tea and organising breakfast for the four children. It was so good to see them, though, that I would have forgiven them anything. And we were young. It makes a difference

People who know me also know I'm fairly busy so if they drop in on me unexpectedly they have to be prepared for that. We do get lots of visitors at all times of the day and night and if I'm busy I'll tell them so and if not then they're welcome to come in and I'll put the kettle on/get the tissues out/make a meal...... whatever they've come for really. Fortunately my lovely husband is very amenable to whatever the situation needs and when they lived at home so were my children. We've never really bothered what state of tidiness or otherwise the house is in when people call. Friends take us as they find us.

I didnt used to like it much, but now that my house is more tidy, I quite like it. I think I am of the age now, where people must like me or dont, so not much that I say or do is going to change their minds either way, so come on in!

How rude of your friend, etheltbags1 One of mine turned up out of the blue then claimed the dust in my house was bringing on her asthma!

I love it- I like an open house idea.

It depends on who it is, my close friend who has a house like a tip, is welcome and she doesn't care, equally my mother and DD/DGD is welcome too without my having to tidy up, however anybody less close such as my in laws or more distant friends would need to ring up and I have told them to. I don't feel comfortable with less close people in my house I think they are maybe looking at my stuff and comparing with theirs.
I had a friend once who ran her finger along the fireplace looking for dust, from then on I took all day to clean and tidy the house before her visit.