Do you live alone?

Cath - a friend and her husband sold their house about 18 months ago and are very happy in the first of many being built around the city. They enjoy all kinds of social events and activities. A particular advantage after orthopaedic surgery was plenty of indoor places for walking exercise even in bad weather.

Maniac - I think I'll do that!

When Fire Service checked my smoke alarms they advised having an escape plan in case of being trapped upstairs.-A spare front door key in a white sock ( kept on front bedroom window ledge) can be thrown out to enable entrance by rescue services.

Hi again,

I was fine alone after my dear husband died, but it seems having been with my dear son has changed this, so I am now looking at Retirement Villages, does anyone live in them, if so have they any advise they can give me?

Cath

I am about to go down that lane of living alone as my dearest died in 2014 when he was still quite young.
After he died my son insisted that I come to be with him, as where we lived was very remote and I am not able to drive. I was fine when in the house by myself and it took sometime to get used to the occasionhal screams of my young grandaughter. However, with the price of houses it has been very difficult finding anything, if I have they go so quickly.
However, hopefully I have now found somewhere, so i am hoping I will get back to enjoying being by myself, although it will be difficult being in a house that my late husband has never visited.

Cath9

chrissyh - Wheelie bins landed last week, I like your idea but no appropriate wall I'm afraid.

apricot - Very thoughtful! Wealthy rabbits?!

No wonder I have no fear of intruders, long ago someone stole a bike from our shed but had the decency to close the door behind them because our rabbits were loose in there.

Elred, I had my aunt's key safe put on a wall behind her wheelie bin so it isn't visible from the road. May be an idea if you have a bin outside.

I live alone, but now I am not alone because I live in a Anchor resident, before where I lived it was troublesome , and was glad to move.
Mick

durhamjen - glad it worked out so well for you!
apricot - sorry to disillusion you about only the 'filthy rich' getting burgled. In the 1970s no one in my area of small (mainly ex) council houses had an intruder alarm. Gradually, after both day and night time burglaries (personally I had one of each) we changed our door locks and got alarms and exterior lights. No one around here is even slightly grubbily rich!!

Yes, if someone is really determined for some reason they'll probably get in but your average burglar just looks for the easy options and wants to achieve a quick in and out with as little effort as possible.

We have a hidden spare key which DD, who lives next door, knows about.

We have occasionally left the back door unlocked but our dogs would always warn us if there was anyone out there so I'm a bit laid back about security.

I did get a bit nervous a few years ago when I was doing jury service on a nasty GBH case and we were all warned to take extra care if we were home alone. DH was working away at the time so I had my Rhodesian Ridgeback and two Jack Russells sleeping in the bedroom with me.

The blighters didn't want to go back to their own beds after that!

Yes, I have a spare key in a secret place outside (it really is secret, not just under a flowerpot!) and DD also has a spare set of keys. That's another reason why I wouldn't have bolts on my doors.

I have lived alone ever since my DSs left home except for the short periods when they came back. It's been 15 years since I moved to this smaller house and I can't say that being alone has ever concerned me. I have good, secure doors and my spare key is in a safe place which my family and friends know about.

Two years ago I had an emergency.
I had an aortic dissection and had to ring 111. Thought I was having a heart attack, the pain was so severe.
I was on my own, having my lunch when it happened.
I live in a bungalow. Had to crawl on my hands and knees to the bedroom, lie on the bed and use the phone. I have a phone in the sitting room, but I would have had to stand and talk, and I couldn't stand up.
The woman on the other end asked for my phone number and the number of someone else just in case I couldn't answer. She said she was sending a paramedic, and was the door locked or unlocked.
I then crawled to the front door and checked it was unlocked and stayed on the floor in the hall.
Paramedic arrived, checked how I was, gave me oxygen for the pain, then called an ambulance. I was in hospital within half an hour.
My son arrived at the hospital within the next half hour. All very efficient.

I have obviously wondered since then what I should do if it happened again.
I still do the same, because I think that it happened once and I managed.
I put the key in the door during the day, but lock the door at night and put the key in my bedroom.
I just work on the principle that if it was worse than that the next time, it would not matter anyway. If you can reach the phone you will be okay. If you cannot, then...I've been lucky once as 50% of those who have what I had die before they reach the hospital, and 50% who reach the hospital die through misdiagnosis.

I feel quite safe leaving my key in the lock as I live in France and we don't have letter box flaps in doors. Everyone has a metal post box outside.

I should hate to be so locked and bolted inside that the house was impregnable. Gosh, now that is the stuff of nightmares.

Ana I think you need to give us worriers some online tutorials......

I suppose in theory it wouldn't matter how many locks and bolts you had on your outer doors, if someone was determined to get in there are ways of removing window panes even if they're double-glazed.

I know the sounds of my house, as in when the central heating kicks in, when that noise on the roof is just pigeons and if the howling of the wind gets too bad I just put earplugs in. I do sympathise with the worriers, but I have other things that concern me far more than the remote chance of burglary, rape or murder in my own home.

I've just been thinking about this problem myself, having had a bad fall (actually, it was a somersault over a coffee table; alcohol was not involved, but granddaughters' pet rabbits were). Luckily it was at my daughter's. I live in a corner house in a quiet cul-de-sac, and only feel safe at night because of bolts and extra locks on all doors, but I worry what would happen if I became ill or had an accident.The police did break down the door of an acquaintance who did. I don't think a keysafe would make me feel more secure; every creaking floorboard as the CH cools down or cranks up would convince me that someone had got in. Oh, Bette Davis, how right you were.....

So why does his opinion overrule your fears?

I was going to mention that in my post, mcem - there have been a couple of times when I've left the back door unlocked (mistakenly thinking I'd done it) and I can honestly say I just shrugged it off the next morning.

I do check properly now, but only because it's silly to leave one's doors unlocked at night, not because I seriously think I'm at risk.

My OH always removes our front door key at night to prevent burglary. I would prefer to leave it in as I am more scared of being trapped by fire than burglary.

Finance is another area where I'm quite at ease while my bright, intelligent sister leaves all of that to her husband - doesn't know who supplies their energy or what the monthly dd is. Handed over her retirement lump sum for him to invest 'because he knows more about it'.
I'll admit that once or twice I've gone to bed and forgotten to check the lock and wasn't surprised to wake up safe and sound in a house which hadn't been ransacked!
It illustrated the fact that robbers and rapists weren't lurking outside waiting to take advantage of my occasional carelessness.

mcem. And even if he had been the one to do those things, it's amazing what you find you're capable of when needs must. I never thought I'd cope with huge spiders when DH died, but I just steel myself...

I've never worried about burglars or axe-murderers though.

I'm with apricot on this. You could fret yourself into fear and depression. I enjoy my independence too much to dwell on the unlikely 'what ifs'.
Reminds me of the comments from my dear aunt when ex and I split.

'Who'll make sure the door is locked at night and who'll climb the ladder to change the light bulbs?'

The reply - 'same as always. I will!'

I live alone and have no fears whatever. The chance of a homicidal maniac breaking in at night must be vanishingly small and why would a burglar bother unless you're filthy rich?
My mother in law used to say, "I'm not nervous but I do keep a hatchet under the bed". My own idea of security is to usually lock the door at bedtime.

I still have my DH thank goodness. I dread the thought of living alone I know I would sink into a depression. DH is not in good health and when he goes into hospital (sometimes) I am petrified indoors sleeping in the house on my own. I make sure I lock up well but still hear noises. I think I frighten myself.