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If I were a young woman now...

(58 Posts)
Indinana Wed 16-Sept-15 10:39:55

How would you approach life if you were a young woman in today's world?

www.facebook.com/kelly.evans.921677/videos/10153349590986645/

AlgeswifeVal Thu 17-Sept-15 21:19:30

I would have worked harder at school. I would have liked to leave home but not marry to have to do it. I would have liked a better occupation like being in the police force or even better in forensics.
What I did was got married at 21yrs to get away from my father as he was victorian strict and I worked as a GPO telephonist as soon as i left school at 15 yrs.

etheltbags1 Thu 17-Sept-15 20:45:01

I would have worked harder at school and got some A levels instead of slogging at night classes, I would have gone into teaching or law instead of just drifting from job to job always seeking something else.
However I cant do anything now and I have got the most adorable DGD and DD so life hasn't been that bad.

LynC Thu 17-Sept-15 20:03:12

I married young against my mothers advice--- she was right!, but my divorce changed my life. Although I made a very succesful second marriage and had another two children I realised that in a different world to that of my parents and grandparents I would have to take responsibility for my own future n those of my children though. I too worked at the Midland Bank on leaving school! I went to uni when the children went to school and had a very successful teaching career! My only regret was choosing teaching over accountancy.

Nana3 Thu 17-Sept-15 19:32:29

After I left home I made good friends and had a better life. Then after I met the man I later married we moved back to my home town to be closer to my family. Sort of forgot why I'd left. Bad move, I wouldn't do it again.

grandmac Thu 17-Sept-15 15:32:48

hildajenniJ and pinkprincess I too wouldn't go into nursing now. I loved my training years (mostly!) and subsequent career but today there is a distinct lack of compassion and care in the nurses with whom I have had any contact. I think I would like to be an archaeologist or an historian.

I would ask my Mum and Dad all those questions which will now never be answered. And I would keep a diary.

But I hope I would have the same wonderful husband and my lovely children and grandchildren, for whom I am so grateful.

inishowen Thu 17-Sept-15 15:03:41

I would not be so bothered about having a boyfriend. It was all about status when I was at school. Instead I'd buckle down and study. Then I would have had the qualifications to go to Art School. I'd have loved to study textiles. I married at 20 and am not sorry I did that as we're still happy together. I just wish I'd had a career first, and one that I could have gone back to after i had the children.

janeainsworth Thu 17-Sept-15 14:56:13

I thought so too Stansgran. I was hoping Jingl would come on and say they were a load of moaning minnies but she has let me down grin

Stansgran Thu 17-Sept-15 14:51:11

I thought the women were a bit washy washy and droopy. I only could wish that I'd known then what I know now and that's not possible. Isn't the saying "if youth knew and age could"?

Noplacelikehome Thu 17-Sept-15 13:26:08

I would say it's always darkest before dawn - things will work out for the best.

Indigoblue Thu 17-Sept-15 12:22:16

If I was a young woman now, I hope that I'd do exactly what I did, marry at 22, have two great sons, and when they're in their teens (and if I got divorced as I did), get back on my feet and get a satisfying career - or maybe I've just been lucky. If I have been, I'm grateful.

grandMattie Thu 17-Sept-15 12:21:08

I wouldn't have slavishly listened to my parents. I was completely in thrall to them and did exactly what I was told!

I would have gone into teaching and been a fabulous teacher of veyr small children.

I would have been kinder and less arrogant, I would have had millions, zillions, more children. From the time I can remember, I wanted at least 8 children.

BTWDH worked his years out at Midland Bank - he got a jolly good pension!

AlterEgo Thu 17-Sept-15 12:07:41

I traveled quite a bit in my twenties but didn't get beyond Europe til I was 30 - spent my 30th birthday on an overnight bus across Thailand. So I would explore further afield a little earlier including Africa, China, South America and more of SE Asia. I would still have my DC fairly late, had two DC in mid thirties. But I'd try to be more confident that this was going to happen and enjoy my twenties knowing I had all this other family life to come - and knowing to make the most of my freedom!

Lona Thu 17-Sept-15 08:28:43

I have no idea what I'd do jobwise if I were a young woman now, but I would certainly be more careful who I married!

NotTooOld I worked at Midland Bank too when I left school! smile

PRINTMISS Thu 17-Sept-15 08:28:12

Quite right thatbags and janea it is no good wondering what if, life is here to be lived now, and if we were young again, we might well make different mistakes, because we still had so much to learn.

thatbags Thu 17-Sept-15 08:20:25

Hear, hear! janea. I think it was from you that I learned this: The only reason for looking back is to see how far you've come.

If I were a young woman now... who knows, who knows? I'd still be me.

Indinana Thu 17-Sept-15 08:08:28

You make a very good point about social media today, gettingon. That is one of the major differences in life today as compared to when we were all young - and why, if I were a young woman now, it might not be easy to live my life in quite the same way as I did then. As I said upthread, it is not about having regrets about what we did and didn't do, but about how we would live in today's world.
I do wonder, for example, if I would get married as young now - not only because I might choose differently, but because the expectation that a serious relationship almost automatically leads to marriage is no longer the case today. So I might well be in and out of relationships today, not settling down till my mid thirties. My entire life path would be different as a result.

gillybob Thu 17-Sept-15 08:00:10

I wish I'd followed my own instincts and refused to marry the father of my first child. The marriage didn't last 5 minutes and became a single parent anyway.

I wish I could have stayed in education in order to become a social worker as I had always wanted to do but there was a need to get a job that earned money in order to keep my baby. -- should have thought of that when you got yourself pregnant though, shouldn't you-- sad

gettingonabit Thu 17-Sept-15 07:34:00

I wish I'd done law at University rather than a language then PGCE. I made a mediocre teacher and took ages finding my feet career-wise.

I wish I'd had more confidence and not spent so much time obsessing over my looks. I still do, and find ageing really hard.

I wish I hadn't felt under so much pressure to settle down with a man.

I'm so, so glad, though, that we didn't have social media then. I don't know how I would have coped with all the attention-seeking and bragging and having to be "out there".

pinkprincess Wed 16-Sept-15 22:25:53

hildajenniJI agree with you about nursing today.I would not have been one either.
I would have used my love of sewing for a career in the fashion industry, but too late now!
I look at my four granddaughters and realise that their lives are different from mine at that age, young women seem to have a lot more freedom now.My oldest DGD is 23 and has travelled the world, something I never considered doing.

NotTooOld Wed 16-Sept-15 22:20:26

I'm another one who married far too young (19). And I wish I'd gone to art college straight from school and not into the Midland Bank confused. It took me until my early 30s to get the qualifications I needed for the job I really wanted to do.

rosesarered Wed 16-Sept-15 21:56:06

it depends... you mean knowing what we know now I suppose? We would all probably do things slightly differently, but who is to say they would have a better outcome?

Indinana Wed 16-Sept-15 20:02:45

I didn't see the video as being about having regrets, janea, more about a lesson to all young women out there.
I certainly have no regrets, though I am aware that I would do things differently if I were a young woman in today's world.

annodomini Wed 16-Sept-15 19:58:49

In today's world I probably wouldn't go into teaching. I think I would be inclined to take a law degree combined with languages. I'd still enjoy being free in my 20s and have no regrets about being a later mum.

janeainsworth Wed 16-Sept-15 19:11:31

Well, having now watched that video, I can't help feeling that life's too short to spend it wallowing in regrets!
What's done is done.

janeainsworth Wed 16-Sept-15 19:05:01

www.facebook.com/mbmag/videos/vb.48486833963/10153372361093964/?type=2&theater

This might work I think, it's from the original Mother & Baby magazine FB page