Gransnet forums

Chat

Page 1 of 1
Flip | Customise

Off to visit FIL tomorrow......

(8 Posts)
Add comment | Report
Katek Fri 11-Sept-15 18:24:38

It will take us 6 hours of travelling for a four hour visit and he's still going to complain that we don't stay long enough! It's very difficult to fill the four hours as it is-we take him for lunch then back to his house where we sit and chat over a cup of tea. Once we've gone through the family conversation about what everyone is doing we're sort of stuck. He has no interest in anything anybody else has to say so we have to fabricate an interest in football or coin collecting. It's also very tiring as he's extremely deaf and we spend a lot of time 'speaking up' (aka shouting) I usually leave absolutely exhausted and I probably shouldn't be doing this as I'm not fully recovered from the asthma/chest issues I've had all summer. Have to support DH though.

Add comment | Report
suzied Fri 11-Sept-15 18:38:04

How about taking an old photo album if you have one and asking him to tell you about his memories of the people?

Add comment | Report
soontobe Fri 11-Sept-15 18:39:14

I was going to say that!
Is he interested in games of any kind? eg card games?
Would he appreciate more time out in the car?

Add comment | Report
Alea Fri 11-Sept-15 18:43:19

Brilliant idea suzied I find I have dozens of old photographs and could always pretend I did not know when or where they were taken. It might lead to some reminiscing and even anecdotes you could pass on to your DC.

Add comment | Report
Katek Fri 11-Sept-15 18:48:39

I like it! We don't have an old one which would interest him but he's bound to have lots of photos! This is a man who has receipts/bank statements from God knows how many years ago....photos should be no problem! Reminiscing would be good as long as he doesn't start slipping into German which happens occasionally when he can't remember something.

Add comment | Report
Katek Fri 11-Sept-15 18:50:28

Sorry-forgot to say Soon that he's still driving (eeek!!) himself

Add comment | Report
Luckygirl Fri 11-Sept-15 18:53:38

I do remember this with my FIL - he truly wasn't interested in anyone else but himself, and I just used to sit and let his racist diatribes watch over me. Nothing I might have said would have made any difference, so why say anything?

Sadly, visiting him was a huge chore. You have all my sympathy. Just grit your teeth.

Add comment | Report
rosequartz Fri 11-Sept-15 19:59:39

I don't know if you're compiling your family history, Katek - but even if not you may want to do so in the future. You could take a notebook and pencil and ask him to reminisce about the family.
I do wish I had asked my DP and my MIL more questions when I had the opportunity. So many questions, and no way of answering them now.
And so many old photographs and we have no idea who they are!!

Page 1 of 1
Flip | Customise