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Am confused.

(37 Posts)
downtoearth Sun 06-Sept-15 18:44:00

feel exactly same ...OH has to have an opinion on everything....and argue...
DGD has to be everywhere,make a mess everywhere,argue everywhere,especially with OH and about money...that she dosent have,we are unable to give,am feeling very squashed,fed with all of them......could go on but just depress everyone and myself ....sad

janerowena Sun 06-Sept-15 14:06:56

Yes, I agree, it's DH issue. It certainly is for me, he has been off work with depression (which is stressful enough as it is) since early June and for heaven only knows how much longer, and I hadn't realised how much I need my own space, to find things where I put them, not to come down in the morning to find him sitting in my computer chair, disagree about what to eat that night - all sorts of things. It's an added layer of stress on top of what you normally have and it takes a long time to get used to it.

I did that survey for the student late last night, about how you feel, and it was a bit of an eye-opener.

Bellanonna Sun 06-Sept-15 10:30:37

I think the DH invasion is more impacting than you may gave realised. Plus holding positions that now feel onerous but which perhaps are hard to find replacements for. So maybe you feel a bit trapped and could do with freeing things up a bit ? The DH presence I can sympathise with. It's the things they change such as, as you say, bits of paperwork not being tidied up. Small things, but irritating. My DH is a keen philatelist and yesterday I found one of my good saucepans filled with water with stamps floating in it, on the dining room table. When I picked it up angrily to remove it I spilled water over the table. Needless to say I blamed him. Try to release yourself from some of your duties and don't feel guilty about it.
Possibly a rather depressing cold and wet end of summer doesn't help either.
All the best !

Katek Sun 06-Sept-15 09:40:08

Cherrytree, I wonder if you've hit the nail on the head? Have I come to one of life's crossroads? Lots of the things I'm doing have been my responsibility for many years-in some cases almost 30 years-and I think I'm just doing them out of duty now. Trouble is there isn't anyone to take over these roles. I do feel a little invaded by dh, it's the mess!! Little heaps of paperwork/random things in various places. We have set the summerhouse up as a home office but he still manages to create havoc in the house. We moved 2 years ago but there's a bit of me would like to move nearer dgs's but you can't live your life around family and nothing else.

Nelliemoser Sun 06-Sept-15 09:31:55

Katek I've been feeling like that for months. I have no real solutions though. For me its probably some nagging wories and discontent. I really have to strive to stop feeling sorry for myself.
I had/have been trying to some calming meditation stuff like just switching off all worries etc and trying to calm myself down from feeling anxious.
I am afraid I cannot offer much advice. other that don't feel guilty about feeling disatisfied.

My friend who I was very close to emigrated about three years ago. She and I picked each other up though many crises over the years.

I am hoping the return to the choir season and a U3A group will give me a kick up the backside.

Katek Sun 06-Sept-15 09:30:42

Had quick 2 day visit to my brother Soon but don't go away until end of the month. I would be in a better place left to my own devices I think, but pressure is on for village Xmas activities-lights, Xmas fair and panto.

Cherrytree59 Sun 06-Sept-15 09:30:24

I am also in a strange place at the moment. I recently lost my father whom I had cared for 10 yrs, and have got health problems imc unable to get a decent nights sleep, so that has something to do with I expect. Like you I'm very busy , but feel just going through the motions of life. I' seem to be waiting for something catastrophic to happen! Every so often there are cross roads in peoples lives could it be that you have reached one? Perhaps your restlessness means that you need to reassess your life at present. You mention your DH is working from home. Do you feel your bit of space has been invaded? Or that his life has changed but yours hasn't You might be out of recovery mode and be ready for something new. A little adventure may be! But I don't think you will find what it is by battening down the hatches and staying at home. I am also dreading winter and the dark nights which affect my moods (SAD) could this also be part of it? Hope you find your inner calm soon.

Katek Sun 06-Sept-15 09:25:20

Meeting you I mean, not me.....

Katek Sun 06-Sept-15 09:24:44

As am I Jane!

Jane10 Sun 06-Sept-15 09:23:09

Looking forward to meeting you next Sunday!

soontobe Sun 06-Sept-15 08:29:59

Probably to do with recovery from health issues?

Have you been away this summer at all?

Or/and would it make you in a better place to stay home fro a while doing crafts and seeing family?

Katek Sun 06-Sept-15 08:25:43

I seem to be in a strange place at the moment....edgy, disgruntled a lot of the time. I have a good life with a wide circle of friends, 3 very, very close friends, am busy in the community and have interesting hobbies. Why then am I feeling so jaded with everything? I have to make an effort (psychologically) to do these things that used to bring me such pleasure and also find myself being very inwardly critical. I don't feel depressed, I'm happy being at home doing my craft projects and seeing family whenever possible. It hasn't been a good summer in terms of health issues (now resolving) and dh is now working from home. Am I still in recovery mode? I'm restless but don't know what I want. Confused.com confused