Many congratulations to you and DD on the birth of her precious baby girl. My own DGD has just turned one, and what a delight to the whole family.
I am a retired paediatric nurse who worked many years in premature nurseries, and I can tell you I would have been reacting so violently to the situation you described that I'm sure my DD would have called security and had me removed. You have described so many dangerous and unnecessary situations it gives me goose bumps to read it.
My own DD lives in America where the medical $$ is all king. She got pregnant with DGS by IVF (which cost a fortune, thankfully she got pregnant on the first round) but then, one year later, she decided she wanted another child. The IVF clinic was more than happy to take her money and she got pregnant again, on the first go, but when they transferred her to OB/GYN to follow her pregnancy, they said she should not have gotten pregnanat so quickly (she'd had a section with DGS) and they would "have to take the baby 3 weeks early" so that her uterus wouldn't have to stretch the full amount. As you can guess, I was clinging to the ceiling at that point. Good thing I live in another country.
To end the story, DGD was born perfect and healthy, albeit only 5 lbs.
As people our age are wont to say "This crap would never have happened in my day!!!"