Women! Know your limits!

I love all your comments , its hard not to agree with many!
Yes my almost xh has that attitude of women, strangely I only recently realised how deep this went! I have no respect for him now! It's 20 yrs since we were man and wife, which I started , by ousting from b/room, in my innocence I thought he would realise how hurt I was, and make effort to repair that he had destroyed! Fool I have been !!! Stayed here for family , and always in hope !! Bigger fool now ! He has always been lazy, so now we live in house needing much repair! I used to do repairs , to anything !! Loved gardening, decorating,, drew the line at the car. But these last 10 yrs have become differcult due to allergies and asthma, he does not believe it ! So nothing much gets done at all, will lose money if house is sold, have only my old age pension , which I use to purchase things I need , that are not household stuff. Advice please how do I release myself from this more than dead state ???

I was the son my father always wanted so spent a lot of time with him tinkering under car bonnets and making things in wood so I've never had a problem talking to blokes. Chat about car engines for a bit and they seem to forget I was a girl.

When I was a member of a local council in the '90s, we had almost parity of men and women and several committee chairs were women. I can't remember any of the men trying to assert their superiority. If they had, they'd very soon have learnt the error of their ways. I always thought that local government was far more gender-equal than Parliament,though at conferences I sometimes met 'good old boys', mainly from Northern councils, who seemed to think that women were merely part of the decor - but they were soon disabused of this notion.

It always makes me laugh in Italy when waiters and shopkeepers insist on talking to DH when I'm the only one who can speak Italian and all his answers have to come through me

After all i said about not knowing any women that can't hold their own. We sat near a couple in a restaurant yesterday where the man (elderly) spoke down to the woman he was with all through lunch and she did not speak up, quite annoyed me.

Thanks for that clip Tricia what a hoot!

I don't think peoples' attitudes depend on where they live but just on the sort of people they are. I grew up in the 40s and 50s with 3 sisters and my dad insisted that we all stayed on at school and went on to college and got jobs with 'proper' qualifications - he said it was more important for women to have a career because they were more likely to take a career break, and needed to have a real job to go back to. I think that most people around at the time thought that he was mad.

When I saw this sketch years ago- it took me right back to 1975 and our arrival in the East Midlands. I was 25 and had 2 little girls, and we had just moved to East Leics and were invited at our first dinner party with the Senior Partners and their friends. After dinner the men started to talk about politics and I was very interested in what they had to say- and I made a comment- and the same thing happened ... The wife of the host said it was time to go and 'powder our nose' and I replied that I didn't need to. She made it clear it was not a choice, and we had to leave the men to 'proper conversation port and cigars'.

I was brought up to be an equal, and to have passionate conversation about anything- that was in rural Switzerland in the 50s- so having to go through this in the mid 70s so a massive shock to me. I went almost mad on the way home and said 'never, ever, never again' - and worked hard to get back to Uni and my own career as soon as the girls were both at school. I could not have stood a day more in this Stepford wives' enclave.

That's very interesting MaryXYX, although not very encouraging.

I said I'd never encountered it but thinking about it DD has.
Middle aged man been doing the same job for 20+ yrs. Along comes 23 yr old daughter. Who was asked to teach him the new computer system the council had brought in.. " I'm not being shown how to do my job by some girl " The boss soon sorted him out

I noticed that my opinions weren't as important after transition as they were before. That was only four years ago and in a high tech job in the South of England.

(Transition = male to female.)

Fortunately these days though, Tricia, those who don't like it generally know they have to lump it.

Sorry corrections -
Mattie's post not thread.
And last sentence "But men still don't seem to like it".

Mattie - I felt guilty after reading your thread because I admit a similar conversation took place at a family dinner in the 90s. Second daughter had said she worked hard, somone said doing what? (because she was always one to wriggle out of work) She replied looking after H. And we said Oh!
They brought up H. very well and her mother now works full time.
Things have changed a lot since then eg when started working as an EP I was the only woman among about 6 men.When I left 25 yrs later there were 6 women and 3 men. Though Seniors and Principal were men.
I've heard that female solicitors now out number men in the UK, and here in France among newly qualified doctors women seem to outnumber men.
But don't seem to like it - even with my husband of 40+ years, who is very selfconfident, I have to be careful not to be too "cleverclogs".

I SO remeber those days - and not so long ago either (20years?). We decided that my earning power was minimal and all my earning would be spent on paying someone else to look after our offspring. So I was a stay-at-home mother. It gave me time to listen to R4 and so on, read a lot, really havng a good idea of what was going in the world.

At dinner parties, I would have working women and various men asking me what i did. so my truthful reply would be that I "work very hard indeed". Ears perked up. "What?" "I look after my children". "Oh!" the disappointment was palpable - I was a cabbage...

Thanks for the link - mixed feelings about it though!

Thanks for that clip - very funny.

One of my bosses used discombobulation to great effect when coming down to greet interviewees. If they assumed she was a secretary and treated her dismissively, we knew they'd already blown it.

mrsmopp

I always used to find it quite amusing when people assumed that my male assistant was the director and that I was his secretary. That quite often gave me an edge in difficult meetings with discombobulated MCPs.

I dont know much about politics, but I do like fluffy kittens !!!

I used to live near an Asian lady who was slowly going insane through boredom. She was incredibly intelligent and spoke seven languages but all day and every day she cleaned the house, cooked the meals and did the ironing for her husband, her elderly MIL and six children.

I really admired her. She fought hard for her girls to go to uni and even to live in the halls of residence rather than relatives. She said she wanted them to experience uni properly like she had and hoped she could make sure they married men who would give them the freedom to have careers rather than just be housewives like she'd had to be.

She succeeded too. All three of her girls have careers.

I'm a Yorkshireman, but I live in East Anglia. All the women I know are more than capable of equal opinions (they are of course, usually wrong)

unless maybe he was really rich and spoiled me rotten and I did not have to work. We all have our price

No vanmpire queen I would rather work and be in control of the men and be the one doing the hitting with the wooden spoon.

you sound like a southerner pompa, some northerners are behind the times.