Having the house to yourself

I think part of my problem is I can't sit and do nothing. Even when I'm on GN I'm doing something else, knitting, tidying up, cooking etc
I feel very guilty if I do nothing.

Ashtree you have made me feel so much better - a friend in crime. I also love doing the crossword and Sudoku.

My DH is taking down our cot now as our youngest GS has gone home after a lovely weekend for DH's 70th.

Hope all goes well with the new arrival.

My DH gets up bright and early and springs into action - walks a friend's dog, potters in the garden - potters in the garage - potters into town - Puffs and pants into the kitchen at lunch time basically saying how busy he's been and he's done enough for today! Then (if not bowling) sits and watches TV basically through until bedtime! He always asks me what I've got planned for the day and I take perverse delight in answering - "nothing much or I don't know yet, haven't made up my mind!!" I've spent so many years with lists galore and too much stuff to do so am enjoying being idle sometimes. If I feel guilty I give myself a good talking to

Send him my way Ash Tree my DH has yet to establish a close relationship between dirty mugs and the dishwasher

Oh NanKate I could be your friend . My DH, for all his untidiness, is always finding things to do, whether it's gardening, cleaning the oven , vacuuming the cars. At the moment he's restoring the cot that both our children used more than 40 years ago, so that we can have this here for when our DD stays with the little one due any minute now.

I, on the other hand, am more than happy to while away my time on the computer, or reading, watching a film. I do a lot of handicrafts too but it's still sitting. I like doing things from my armchair or at the dining table .

And like your DH, mine never makes me feel guilty about being so bloody lazy. I do feel guilty though, just not enough to galvanise me into action

I love it when I get the house to myself, which happens rarely.

The problem for me is that I have a DH never stops working, all his side of the family are workaholics. He has lists and lists of jobs he needs to do.

I try and help but in truth I am rather idle and hedonistic and given the chance I would go out for coffee every day, the cinema once a week. Eat meals that took 10 mins exactly to prepare. Only buy ready prepared veg.

DH can't understand why I go window shopping when I don't have anything in particular to buy.

I go to WI and U3A on my own and out with my friends. He never complains or says I do bu**er all.

Sometimes I long to read a book all afternoon, but don't as he is beavering away. I do spend far too much time on the computer and IPad.

However when I am with the GSs I do devote myself to playing with them.

On the whole I feel rather ashamed at my lifestyle, is anyone else a bit lazy or is it just me?

Do you know, I think you could be right there, FarNorth. Women are less likely to view the home as restful and, even in these enlightened times, I think it is more common to find women at the beck and call of their husbands than the other way round.

My husband is SO untidy, always has been. (I blame his parents ) He retired 6 months before me and he used to say, "You wait till I retire - this house will be so tidy you won't recognise it." That was 5 and a half years ago and I'm still waiting... But in his defence, he does do his fair share of the shopping, cooking and housework. He even takes responsibility for his own washing. Untidiness pales into insignificance when I can sit in the living room waiting for him to call out "Dinner's ready"

I love having the house to myself. When Mr i am went away for a month on retirement a couple of years ago, I'd to work hard to stop 'the children' coming round all the time to make sure I was all right

or a kick up the a-----s.

Time for another chat, whitewave?

My DH was offered early retirement, and we sat to discuss it - we agreed that if he took it he would become the house husband and take over the entire house whilst I continued to work until my retirement - it worked but I find that I do the vast bulk of the housework now.

Well done, shysal. Not to be recommended to everyone, tho.

Maybe a reason men are less likely to feel suffocated is that they look on their home as a place of relaxation, more than women do. And/ or that their wives don't give them the sort of queries that janea mentioned.

My DH was made redundant, while I was still working. He responded well to me saying "It would be really handy if you could do X while I'm out" and then he started to notice things for himself. He seemed quite pleased to be getting a handle on the situation

whitewave
Precisely!

Before leaving work we were sent on a retirement seminar and among other things we were told that the thing people found most difficult was living together 24/7. The interesting thing was that most of the women guessed correctly but not one of the men!! They are so dim at times.

Sounds like the the last thing you need downtoearth
Hope your GD finds some work over the summer - it sounds as though she's trying, at least.

GD has handed out CV,s live in rural /semi rural area jobs hard to come by...also friend is only 14 and lots of issues have only become involved (read dumped on/taken by surprise/sucker) through association ,will have words re outcome ...want my home to myself ...muttering didn't sign up for this .....police rang at 11pm thurs blah blah child here till 4pm till duty social worker ..blah blah softy me ....have mothers number have rung 3 times left message no reply ....

tanith, ah yes, holidays.
I'm off with DD for five days at the end of the month and have two weeks booked off work mid September for us to go away.
DH has just said that presumably I won't want a holiday abroad so how about two weeks driving around England and stopping as he we feel fit.
I'm car sick so........

Another think needed?

Oh yes its wonderful! Don't anyone feel guilty.

Ashtree I sneak out by myself as well.

My OH is out a lot with his musical activities which gives me peace. He has a wearing tendency to talk far too much about his own interests and not much else. Getting out with him involves a lot of delay and faffing about by which time I feel drained.

I find shopping etc much easier on my own.

Not panicking just yet but ask me again in a couple of months, when he was looking forwards to retirement all through this last Winter he kept going on and on about how we will be able to just up and take a trip away whenever we feel like it once he's retired so in my innocence I looked for some nice things we could do and for at least a week away in early June to celebrate his retirement, turns out all the dates I've suggested so far clash with one of his bowls matches.
It bothers me not as I have two abroad holidays with family booked already, as he won't fly I'm going with my daughter and then to visit my son and family but he made such a big thing of looking forward to a nice holidays together but so far its not happening... If he thinks I'm taking a nice seaside holiday in October/November I'm afraid he's got a big surprise coming

downtoearth could you find them holiday jobs?

tanith its early days yet, don't panic
It's not the same when one's DH is there, because even if they think they are letting you get on with things, the reality is that one is constantly on call to answer queries such as 'do you know where I put my beanie' 'have you seen that piece of paper I wrote a phone number on' or, my personal favourite, 'do you know what so-and-so's wife is called' when so-and-so is one of his friends.
Wouldn't be without 'em though, would we?

I am a lot older than my OH and have through circumstances beyond our control been forced to stop working for 10 years although he now works full time,and I am semi retired due to get pension September,but d voluntary work 2 full days a week...my problem is not OH cramping my style ( apart from lack of money) but resident GD who has been with us since age of 4 and is 16 and finished school the house has shrunk she finished Friday but past holidays return to haunt me not only that she has a runaway friend who S/S and police have asked me to "look after" whilst the wheels of government and S/S turn to find suitable arrangements and solutions for her.....am now supping although to be fair am cooking too ...

In an unhappy marriage and with retirement looming, I divorced mine! A bit extreme I know, but I have never been happier. I do what I want when I want, and am not answerable to anyone!

I love having 'me time' Unfortunately DH loves shopping so I don't even get to do that on my own. However he belongs to U3A and does go out for half days and even whole days at times What bliss.

I've done that.
Hey ho! Onwards and upwards