How do you give directions to places ?

I'm quite good at giving directions I think but hopeless at receiving them.

When someone starts telling me how to get somewhere my mind just sort of blanks out and I nod and smile and then work it out for myself.

I am utterly hopeless at giving directions. I usually smile and say, 'Terribly sorry but I don't live round here".

I find that for some reason men hate asking for directions and will go round in circles rather than stop and ask. I might say, let's stop at that garage and ask there but he'll answer, "No no, I will find it, I know it's around here somewhere..."

I got him a sat nav for Christmas and at first he scoffed, but it has been brilliant. We took the car over on the ferry to France and went everywhere without a hitch. Best thing I ever bought him - no more arguments!

DH is usually pretty good at finding his way about, but we were visiting a friend in York who we hadn't seen for years, and I asked him if he was sure he knew where she lived. "Oh yes," he said, "It's the same way I used to go when I worked up there" (this being in the early eighties!) "- we'll go that way". I did point out that there was probably an easier way, but no. It never occurred to him that a lot of urban roadscape can change in thirty odd years and we got into such a mess I thought he would go to pieces. We did get there eventually but it took him weeks to admit we should have gone the way I said. He is now planning a trip to South Wales going "across country" instead of the usual motorway! It does not bode well.

I suspect that there are a few out there who have husbands who drive, and have pretty good sense of directions, and who NEVER get lost - mine is one of those, and I never say anything until we have passed the same row of shows, houses, garages, three times, then I say quite innocently "are we lost", and the reply is always "No, I am just taking in the scenery".

When I worked in the hotel business I was always called to reception to give directions to our patrons.

If I drove now, a sat nav would last 10 seconds, if that!

Badly!

It's fine giving directions unless the person asking completely mispronounces the place name.

Many years ago, when I was studying Spanish, we were on holiday in Menorca. We wanted to visit a little cove that required quite a long walk through some rough and wooded terrain, quite difficult to find with no signposts, but you sort of followed your nose. We managed to find it and it was well worth the effort.
On our return, as we were nearly at the car, we were asked for directions, in very broken English, by a young Spanish man. I thought I'd be helpful and explain the route to him in his mother tongue. He followed me quite well, but it was only when he asked a question that I realised he was Italian . I apologised profusely, but he smiled and said the languages are similar enough for him to understand everything I'd said!

My OH is like Merlots, you end up more confused.

I find it very difficult iIf you do not know how well the person knows the area. Keeping the directions as simple as possible is best.

To get to the motorway from where we live is relatively easy. It's three miles from what is just a small town..
Your directions.
Turn left from where we live onto the main road.
Stay on this road until it bends sharp left and turn off right here.
Go past the school and continue down until the next T junction.
Turn left and immediately right onto the main road.
Continue on to the traffic lights where the left turn to the Motorway is clearly marked.
You will cross over the Motorway and then follow that road down to junction x.

Now that sounds straight forward, but in first writing this down I mixed up left and right (as words in my head not directions) I know the road so well I don't need to think about it myself .

I doubt if those instructions would be very easy to follow unless written down and when someone in a car just asks you as you are walking past. It's probably even harder.
The moral is always take a map, which is not much use in a big town.

I used to go into a patient's bedroom and try to get out through the fitted wardrobe!

My husband has a map in his head and the best sense of direction of anyone I know. I, on the other hand.....................

Pubs!
The star, the queen
They line the green
The cottage is close by
They knocked the jockey of his horse
And drank the woodman dry.

This rhyme refers to the pubs along one road :- Wood Green Rd in Wednesbury

Yes, definitely used to be pubs but difficult when some close and others change their names!

Haven't got a sat nav, couldn't stand it when a friend's kept telling her to 'recalculate'!

When I was at uni I had to give my tutor directions to the school in which I was teaching. As usual, my directions went via pubs and he was quite shocked. He said he always gave directions by churches.

I realised some years ago that I am quite sexist when I give directions. If it's to a man, I use pubs and road numbers (those that I can remember), but I prefer to give directions such as, turn right at the lovely white house, left at the huge horse chestnut, straight on until the church and left by the high stone wall.

DH confuses the hell out of people - not on purpose I hasten to add but he'll say things like, 'At the end of the road there's a house with a red door and a little lane down the side. Well, you don't want to go down there!'

DD has Ozzy Osbourne on her sat-nav. 'TURN THE F****NG CAR ROUND.....YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!'

No wonder she's always getting lost.

As I can get lost in my own home, I usually just point people in the correct general direction and advise them to ask someone else, especially if a one-way system is involved!

I usually know the name or number of main roads and can give straight forward directions , on minor local roads like others I would say something like go past the park on your right till you get to the letter box and take the 2nd turning on your left..go straight over the first roundabout and then turn right at the next roundabout..

OH had a robot voice on our Sat-Nav it was very funny .

A few years ago there were pictures in the paper of some of the people who recorded the sat nav instructions and an interview with each one.
Ours has a lovely voice and she said how important it was to pronounce the place names correctly. However, she completely mispronounces the name of our town!

I would like one with an Aussie accent (I could keep in practice for the next visit!) 'Turn right onto the highway then next left in about 500 kilometres eh!'

What a good idea Marmight. If i ever get a sat nav I hope it has accent choices. x

I have a sat nav with an Australian accent - adds fun to the instructions, especially when being exhorted to 'tyke the sicond ixit'

Long distance driving requires post it notes on the dashboard. Then reversed for the journey home!

I could get a sat nav, but that would take the fun out of it!

BTW I did navigate DH & myself across N America, through several cities without a single mistake, so I can read a map.

x

Reminds me of a Punch cartoon many years ago of a lost motorist asking the way first of a vicar: "Left at St. Barnabas, straight over the crossroads at All Saints, and right at St. Peter's; and then of a farm labourer: "Left at the Dog and Duck, straight over the crossroads at the Fox and Hounds, and right at the King's Head."

Yep directions by pubs but as I don't know left from right you could be going almost anywhere.

My DH is famous in our family for his short cuts, which always seem to turn into long ones. He then tries to claim he was taking the "scenic route". We never go straight from A to B. (Think he must have been a cab driver in a previous life)