Have you fulfilled your potential?

I'll survive! I always do.
Problem is I don't want to be committed to something. I've done that all my life with work family etc.
Il just muddle through.
Expect when k can breath and walk again I'll feel better
Thanks for all your concern
I really wanted to know if I was the only one feeling like this at my age? I'd, is it normal?

Sounds pretty normal to me. At the point when we realise that we have fulfilled our biological imperative to reproduce and we have retired, then it would be strange if we did not take stock a bit. But retirement can also be a period of opportunity, even though it is a strange evolutionary development.

No Tegan. Some people could do with a little more 'niceness'. You didn't have to jump on a post of mine that had nothing to do with you, and then make out you felt "sad" because, in your opinion only, the post put me in a bad light.

Sorry to hijack thread.

GT you have no idea about my life, or my thinking. So keep your sodding nose out.

Well, for once we agree. Some people could do with a little bit more niceness, especially when it's a thread where the OP is feeling a bit down. Sympathy and constructive comments spring to mind.

Galen with some of the U3A classes you do not have to go religiously every week, I also do not like to be tethered for months on end. I promise I am not being paid by U3A - I am thinking of joining my local one so I have done some research.

Oh stop being so touchy JB - you introduced quite a sour note into what was a supportive thread

Oh! Now you are being totally po-faced. You are always so supportive aren't you. Laughable! Go and polish yer halo.

I have given you loads of sympathy Tegan over the past few months. I have really tried to help you. Even after your unnecessary remark on the hair thinning thread. But you can't resist taking a pop can you?

Perhaps it's better to accept that none of us can fulfil our potential, rather than thinking that potential is finite, and guilty or regretful because we haven't reached it. Better to look at what opportunities we have made the most of.
Galen you said you went into a decline after your DH died and you should have socialised more - I haven't had to travel that road, but I'm sure it is an extremely difficult one and that it would have taken every effort to just get to the end of each day , never mind thinking of socialising etc.
in other words, you did what you could.
Don't look back now - think about what you could do (work with MPS or GMC?) and what would fit you best.

As Iam said, it is no wonder that you are feeling reflective!

I'd suggest CAB too! DS1 had invaluable help from them when he first came back to this country and needed to know what benefits were available and how to claim them. The wait for a suitably qualified person was horrendous but you would be just such a person. It was such a relief to us to have someone who was on 'our side'.

As for your fabulous crochet work, I know that Victim Support used to put better quality donated items on eBay and made quite a lot of money from them. I think there are special arrangements for charities so I would check with your chosen charity.

As for fulfilling my own potential - I have no idea what it was! I have never been ambitious and have always thought that I operate best in a supportive role. I think I've done that and am happy with how my live has turned out. I never gave a thought to the future when I was young but, by a series of happy accidents ( including one involving the Gay Gordon's!) I seem to have succeeded in getting to a good place despite a few sadnesses on the way.

What will happen in the future though?

Jingle; I'm not talking about me, believe it or not I don't think everything revolves around me...I was refering to the OP.

I know that. my post still stands.

I had a difficult early life - you make decisions at the time that seem the best - but there's nothing you can do about it now. I look at my life like a picture I hang on the wall. Or a book of photos, some good some bad but static, dead. It happened. Nothing can be done to change it, waste of time regretting it, so look to the present, look forward.

Good post from janeainsworth I agree that most of us will probably never reach our full potential. We will always regret some things we didn't do, opportunities that came our way that we did not(or could not) make the best of etc. but I still say that someone like yourself Galen has done amazing things, so you must feel a sense of achievement in that. Sometimes when we feel particularly down it is hard to see the good side or the funny side of very much isn't it?

Actually jingle, I think you'll find that on threads that are supportive I am supportive. If I haven't any experience or knowledge to offer, then I don't post on them. What I'm not supportive of is allowing ill thought through or plainly wrong opinions to remain unchallenged - just like your last one to me in fact.

Well I'm the same with that.

I am probably older than most of you (79) and m generation of women were expected to work for a couple of years then stay at home to bring up a family possibly finding a little part time job when the youngest started school. Then just as my second reached school age I found I was pregnant again. I was at home for 14 years. I eventually did a few secretarial jobs and spent the last 10 years before retirement as a medical secretary.I loved the work but often felt that in different circumstances I could have done something more challenging and with more responsibility.

Then at my daughter's wedding a guest I had never met (a friend of the bridegroom) sought me out and said, "I just want to say what a fantastic job you made of bringing up your daughter, David (the bridegroom) is lucky to have her".

I realised then that paid work is not the only valuable thing we can do. Bringing up a family, caring for sick or disabled parents, all sorts of things are just as important.

Well said daffy.
I stayed at home for 8 years with my family then gradually increased my work commitments, but sometimes wonder if some things might have been different if I'd been at home more in their teenage years.

Well said daffy!

I echo Janea's post but I stayed at home and wonder what would have been different if I had not been at home! We do what seems right at the time!

Daffy - what a lovely thing to have said to you

Others have highlighted it Galen, but I wonder if this feeling is to do with grieving. When we have a large grief it seems to highlight the smaller ones such as missed opportunities, decisions we regret, etc.

I said earlier on that I certainly feel like this quite a bit of the time and I do feel this is partly a mishmash of smaller griefs. Motivating yourself becomes difficult when this happens and I don't think it is at all surprising that you did not want to socialise, by the way.

I find the "two minute rule" helps although it would not work for everyone. If I am feeling I just cannot do anything I look at the thing I am wanting to do - anything from you doing a law course to the ironing - and I tell myself I can do two minutes of it. Sometimes that's all you can do, e.g., make a phone call to get details of a course, sometimes you can do more, but you will have done something.

Interestingly I find I am quite able to do the things involved in my mother's care. It is when the focus is just on me that it can be a problem. This may not help but hopefully knowing others feel as you do will. I know your OP helped me feel less alone with this.

I think that unless one is remarkably emotionally resilient, looking back on one's life regretfully is the sure way to madness.
I've been having some counselling (pretty grim childhood) and I started down the long dark tunnel of regret and my 'lady' said something along the lines of....so you survived growing-up in a dysfunctional family, you have a happy 35 year long marriage, two daughters with whom you have an excellent relationship and two adorable grandchildren. You have done an OU degree, lots of different jobs and are now happily dabbling in hobbies and voluntary work that is much appreciated by everyone you know....so where do you think you went wrong?
She was right of course although I found it hard to agree with her at the time. Harbouring regrets for what might have been will only cloud out what you actually HAVE done and it will also stop you from appreciating what you actually have at the moment. Enjoy what you have...not what might be.

I don't feel I have fulfilled my potential due to as Hilda puts it above 'a grim childhood'. I never felt loved, was neglected and never encouraged to do anything, violent father etc. Lost my teeth as a child which didn't exactly inspire me with confidence, I hid away and never smiled. There was no way I was going to push myself forward for anything. Catholic primary school which put the fear of God into us. I knew I was reasonably intelligent but was never encouraged as I was a scared little mouse. Never had the confidence to got for promotion in jobs, never learned to drive or swim. However, I have a lovely family, caring husband etc. I have come through all sorts of rotten stuff and I'm still here. I agree with what many have said above - enjoy what you have as you don't know what is around the corner.

KatyK.... bless you.