*OPEN INVITATION TO THE GREAT ARTHURIAN GRANSNET PARTY*

Will I do, if I can get that far? I have no idea how to get from Oxfordshire to Tintagel, so we may have to go by the scenic route, but then we might find somewhere to pick up some more vodka jellies. The haggis is packed.

Oooooo I can't wait, I'm busy in the making the haggis which will go down well with the aged malt I have in the cellar. The hunks are here getting ready, I've got the kilts to press and DGC are shut in the lobster pot playpen along with the cat. The hunks are just getting some practice in the garden tossing our transport (the caber). Warming the thongs on the radiator.
Are we all going to fit around the round table.

I've made the quorn Cornish Pasties and me and Rick Wakeman are waiting for Rubysong at the Severn Bridge. If Ruby doesn't turn up Rick has offered me a lift in his stretch limo.

Remember it's all virtual so the table will be as big as we want it.

I am on my way!!! Surfing from Brighton to Tintagel will take some time especially if the tide is against me. Not bad going so far the biggest problem is that it takes so much time being landed on the beach and then having to dash back out to catch another, still I am pleased to say that the wet suit is bearing up, it was touch and go trying to get into it.

The cat refuses to sit on the broomstick but I'm trying to get him into the cat carrier.

I'm stuck on Tenner Lady - it won't move at all now so I am patiently watching the sky for a large, pink, foam hand on a super-de-luxe 7-seater broomstick to zoom down and pick me up. Ready when you are nannieroz!

What with all the promised food, drink and excitement I am glad that the virtual facilities are not medieval....and no queue!!

wheniwasyourage I've tied the Bat Nav to the back seat handle, it may squeak a bit but will remain hanging head down. Can you get to the Ashmolean by 3.02pm? that's my estimated time of arrival in Oxford. I'll be guised as a step sweeper outside the Randolph Hotel - the one with the black pointed beany hat - the password is 'GNasher'...

Whizzed past Worthing and Chichester but having to work hard around the Isle of Wight - tides all over the place. Just saw a pink hand who is that? Bit off course isn't it?

Could be nannieroz looking for me whitewave - I've got my telescope out looking skywards in case it was her.

pitt shouldn't worry too much about the facilities there is a Tenalady lorry turning up so we will be OK

Finally made it passed the Needles, now heading towards The old man and his woman. Didn't fancy going into Bournemouth so am paddling at the moment.

Some idiot has reported a barrage balloon afloat near the Needles, had to assure the lifeboat man that I am OK.

Nobody needs a lift from Cheshire or points south? OK. All the more room on the broomstick for my extensive stock of vodka jellies and lollies - toffee vodka a speciality.

I have been paddling all night, The RNLI were involved in an incident near the Isle of Man, but I am on my way again, I have a long line attached with what seems to be quite a few fish caught. I have noticed a small cove near to the castle where I hope to land, I may not be able to get out of the Kayak with out help, would anyone be there to help, please

new I have been thinking about that - it is a heck of a climb so wondered if I wait for you and heave you out perhaps the grans could rig up some sort of hoist for us. Although if we both have wet suits on perhaps we could pump them up and float upwards as it were?

Heading past the jurassic coast.

How's the weather down there? It's a bit breezy here! I shan't be long, I've rounded up the broomstick, wand and am just catching up the last of the baby toads from the pond to make some nice vol-au-vents. Just like prawns, with extra crunch.

whitewave sadly my wetsuit got a puncture, a sad long story. judging by the last time I got out of Tinks a very embarrising thing happened, block and tackle lowered down the side of the cliff may be helpful. I shall bring fish to grill, not sure whats on the line yet

OMG I have just had the fright of my life - I thought a dinosaur had come to life but it was only the dopey dragon/dog coming to see how far I had got. Must say his flying has improved.

NEW block and tackle it is then or failing that I could blow myself up to a huge balloon and you could hang on.

Heading towards the River Ex estuary.

The toad vol-au-vents sound yummy.

I can't fix the cat carrier on the broomstick. I'm going to try a baby-sling and raw liver.

Just doing a u turn gagagran. Should be in view any moment now. Traffic is terrible today, broomsticks everywhere. I forgot it was a bank holiday. Hope you remembered the new laid pipes ............ I'm itching to have a go!

lily that might do it, - failing that superglue!

Making good headway surfing in Torbay at the moment. Might stop for a spot of lunch, and a tot of brandy to warm myself up.

Sure have nannieroz - they are in my bag along with the SPECIAL muffins . You are coming into view right now - be careful landing on the deck on "Tenner Lady" - I fear she is going to sink very soon.

OOOOOO! Bump Lovely to see you! Mwah mwah!

Mwah mwah. Are we gonna party or what? Don't tell but I've secreted some best Irish whiskey (in the broom handle). Mmmm muffins are scrumptious.

We'd better not have any more just yet nannieroz - they do contain rather a lot of a very special herb! I think Galen may find them to her taste. . Shall we aim to leave fairly soon in case of broom jams? (Being Bank Holiday). I don't mind getting there early to help set up. We can then relax into the evening!