Feeling sad

i have teen daughter aged 14 who is all over the place at the minute, i struggle to even communicate with her and i have suggested everything, she is withdrawn, down and there are other signs too if u can ask the school to keep an eye on her, changes in behaviour, eating patterns socialising with others, contfrontation never worked for me face book is mental get a special internet person out to put in proper safe guards on all it equipment and track her stuff it provides peace of mind, i have learnt as well that if i get busy with something and leave her for a while its shows her that im still able to function and enjoy the wee things i like even if its only a programme i like or reading a mag then sometimes we get a wee chat when her moodhas changed a bit, also get support through a local womens group to teach you coping skills and you will meet others going through the same, and best of luck to u all,

I'm sorry your daughter is going though some difficult times ninathenanna and hope the problems will resolve.

As others have said it is not FB that is toxic but some people who use it. If FB did not exist there would still be problems they would just come to light in a different way. FB also does much good.

FB isself is not toxic at all - it's the way some people use it!

Clearly your DD needed to say what she said, so at least you know, and I think that is useful. But then you can't DO anything. But then very often we can't anyway! Vide several posts demonstrating this. Yep, being a parent is sometimes so, so hard, even now.

nina - you are right, this parenting lark can be a nightmare at times. for you. I keep off Facebook. It almost caused my DD and myself to fall out permanently. I have to bury my head in the sand at times and go with the 'what I don't know can't hurt me' line to preserve my sanity.

Have to agree Lona, Facebook is not bad just the people who post bad things. I find it great for keeping in touch with friends and family and seeing photos I would otherwise miss.
If DD puts on her profile that she is unwell or hacked off I get in touch and I can talk to her, she lives abroad and can't just pop round to unload.

Thanks Mishap

Nina my dd does the same thing. She's just gone through a dreadful time and her fb friends have been very supportive.
It's not Facebook that's bad, it's the people that post bad things.

Don't feel you can do nothing; just knowing you are there is enough sometimes.

one of the reasons I don't do FB. although would like to do it sometimes, you tend to see/read things you don't always want to know..hope things are soon sorted for your family.

Her status was not aimed at anyone and was not malicious in any way. It was just a testament to how she's feeling right now. Believe me she has just cause.

Thanks kitty x

That's a worry for you Nina. . You will know whether DD is being genuine or not and as you are aware of her problems, it must be a concern to see it on fb! She knows she can rely on you so all you can do is to be there.

PM me if it helps!

I read your other thread nina and you would be feeling sad knowing things are difficult for your DD and you can't make it better.

FB can also be very supportive, my niece is going through a terrible time at the moment and I don't think she would be managing without messages and offers of help. Of course she is getting personal support from her family and close friends but it's lovely to see the positive messages from others too.

I hope your DD is getting lots of support.

totally agree gillybob. ninathenana

Exactly right bohemian It is toxic. I stay well clear of FB ! Always have, always will. I have no desire to get involved with it at all.

I know some of the younger ones ( and some who should know better) use it as a method of secret communication (whatever happened to talking?) but I figure what I don't read on FB can't hurt me.

Try not to worry nina I think some people use FB as a kind of weapon. They post things designed to cause the maximum effect (usually hurting those they love) and of course once it's there, it can't be taken back.

Facebook's toxic ninathenana. I've been badly stung by it. Sometimes remarks have been put up there by my estranged daughter that have really hurt me, it can be used as a tool. Yes, this parenting lark does stink for a lot of us and f/b with all the power to its elbow, really doesn't help.