Making a virtue out of frugality.

Jangle away!

DM used to say 'A little of what you fancy does you good'

Perhaps she really is strapped for cash though, and is too proud to admit it. Being like that is her defence mechanism.

kateK I would try to take no notice. If this lady really has got enough money to heat her home properly but instead chooses to let it fall into disrepair, I think it is she that has the problem.

Has she always been like this?

And about what age is she? Especially when there was rationing in the war?

She could be fearful of spending money. She could have been brought up the way she is now.
She could have chosen to be frugal somewhere along the line, and now cant see that by not spending, that she is losing money [may be it wont affect her directly] through not keeping her house looked after properly.

Above all though, she seems to think she knows it all, when really, some of what she says is decades out of date.

What to do about her? Not much you can do. She is far too set in her ways and thinks she knows best.
I think that all you can do is think of it as her having the problem, and definitely not yourself.

She sounds just like my late FiL who, even when he was dying, wouldn't have the heating on in his house, preferring to wrap himself in a rug. But it was his choice.

Some people like feeling morally superior to others and feel they can occupy the moral high ground by being more abstemious and parsimonious than their neighbours. I think my response to that would be that there are no pockets in a shroud.

My aunt and cousin would not waste a morsel of anything, if they boiled a kettle they put left over water in a flask for later.

Frugality is fine, but when it does become an obsession, can actually be very dangerous, sadly.

I always thought the phrase was "cocking a snook"

As Granjura says, excessive frugality can be dangerous. A sort of OCD.

I do wonder why some who live frugally feel they have to almost boast about it?
DH's potty spinster godmother was the same, legendary for making a pound of mince stretch to 4 meals for her and her batchelor brother who she adeptly prevented from marrying (I think that was all they ever ate with boiled potatoes and cabbage !)
When he died she was almost obsessive about not spending money, wore sheets of newspaper wrapped around her body and tied with string to keep warm, in a house full of antiques and cobwebs, very Miss Haversham-like.
When she died left over £1.2m to a far distant relative who no one had ever met, lucky b....r!

Have recovered my equilibrium today...., in no small part due to all you kind GNetters! Today the winter sun is shining directly into my sun room, my very good friend is visiting and we are going out for lunch. Happy day and I will try to learn to rise above Mrs Morally Superior ..... If she wants to sit wrapped in a throw then that's fine, me-I'll have the central heating!

phoenix, I agree with you. I think that 'cocking a snook' was something like thumbing one's nose, though I am sure someone will put me right on that.

I thought 'cocking a snook' meant that, anno, at least I hope so because I just used it on another thread (re pupils 'cocking a snook' at teachers).

Have a lovely day Katek and could you send some our way please, it is grey and drizzly here and I wanted to take DGD to the park.

Mrs Morally Superior - love it!
I will remember that when I talk to Mr and Mrs Intellectually Superior!

I know a Mrs Financially Superior so I will remember it too!

Yes, of course it's "snook"! I don't know where that 'snoop' came from.

#ageingbrain

Mind you, you knew bloody well what I meant. Rude to mention it.

[thumbs nose and sticks out tongue]

We need an emoticon for that, Jingle!

We do! CARI!!!!!!!!

This thread reminds me of my granny who I stayed with quite a bit as a child. She had old clothes and neighbours used to give her coats and hats etc to keep warm. There was no hot water kettle went on the coal fire to save using the gas cooker (coal fire was the only heating) and dim bulbs for lighting throughout the house. She would collect fallen branches after a storm to burn with the coal and make it last longer!

She actually owned her own house and a rank of cottages (7) and I went with her to collect the rents! The floors had rag rugs and threadbare lino on them, no fridge, vacuum or anything like that. She kept chickens in the garden for meat and eggs and grew veg which she sold from her house.

She was a very generous person in her own way - sent a ton of coal to my mum anonymously and a posh coat from a select shop in the best part of town when she found us with no fire in the winter. Also we visited a young widow with 2 children who was her friend and I caught her putting money in a kitchen drawer there for the lady to find. But all gifts were anonymous and she couldnt stand 'show' or debt (HP she called it)

She was brought up as one of 13 children in the countryside, worked on the land in rural Hungary and never had anything as a child so that is probably why she was like this when she was widowed at 45.

I am quite frugal and shop around for clothes etc but could never live like this. If your friend is in a damp cold house and is very elderly perhaps she may have dementia and not realise how cold it is.

I too think that the woman in the op may be ill, especially as her children are worried about her.

I don't!
"There's nowt so queer as folk!"

One of the best/worst examples that I know of was the MIL of a friend of mine. They were a farming family, and the MIL would save the "string" that you pulled off when opening sacks of animal feed and use it to knit dishcloths!

Although now I think of it, my (titled) stepgrandmother took great pride in an item that she had bought at a bring and buy event. It was a gadget that you put scraps of soap in to press them into "new" bars......... but I suppose it gave her that bit more money to spend on sherry!

People can be different, even eccentric, without being ill, soon.

I dont know if you realised that carol123 is saying it too?

I know annodomini. Of course I do.