Engineers

Another one married to an engineer.

Before asking DH how something works I start off with. I want the simplest, quickest and only one explanation. Please don't go into another explanation when I am trying to process the first one. It never works. He just can't help himself.

The glass is the wrong size sums him up perfectly

Yep! That's another one!

J52 DD and I have a giggle at DH's expense as he measures everything in "milli's".

How far is it to New York and back, in milli's?
What size dress shall I buy, in milli's?

Mr P's speciality is drainage. Thank God he doesn't bring his work home with him!

He is currently working on surface water and highways drainage for a County Council, he previously worked on the flood plains project for Somerset.

He does do "foul" as well, which strikes me as odd. Ask him to empty the cat litter tray, and he suddenly has an urgent appointment elsewhere, but show him an overflowing drain with turds and tampons bobbing about in it, and he's like a pig in the proverbial!

Dilbert Books? My ex used to buy them. I never owned anything new cause he used to fix everything. My kids used to be ashamed to be seen in the cars we used to drive. He even put a new engine in a Chrysler Alpine to keep it going for a few more years. I was the laughing stock of the car parts shop when I told them [having gone there to get more bits for it] ....

Mind you on the positive side like merlot said earlier, mine too can fix almost anything if he has the time.

I know exactly what you mean janeainsworth Mr is an Electrical Engineer. Infact I eat, breath and sleep (or rather don't) engineering.

What irritates me the most (among many other things) is his ability to overthink and over analyse everything and not to recognize when he is boring someone to tears zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

absent

Wish mine had too merlot I would be out shopping instead of writing quotes and collecting overdue accounts.

Mr P has to live away during the week, and he still doesn't earn a fortune!

Or mine.

Wish mine had earned a fortune

I love engineers. We have known several as neighbours and friends and they are always fixing stuff and they earn a fortune!!! That should get you going.

That is if it ever does get fixed, Jingl. I still have a cellar full of the things which were going to be repaired - sometime.

Wow! They are all alike!

I thank my lucky stars I'm married to an agricultural engineer. Saved us a small fortune over the years in car maintenance/repairs, plumbing, building maintenance, general DIY etc.

He lives in his workshop and can be a grumpy old git if anyone disagrees with him. He's usually right but I never tell him that

"Problems are made to be solved"

Round here that interprets into "don't throw it away yet. I can probably fix it". And yes, he will fix it - there will most likely be a bloody great bolt involved somewhere, the finished article will look like a spare part from an old submarine or german tank, but it will work. And I will throw it out. And buy a new one.

Does that sound familiar to Mrs P?

Mr E was not one to argue either.

He was an electrical engineer, on the design side, with an interest in all the house-building trades. Every homer he undertook was done like Mr P's - spread sheets, diagrams, calculations. I still have his files on every DIY job he did on the house, from shelves to a complete kitchen (he demolished walls and rebuilt them, did joinery, plastering, plumbing, tiling, electrics, installed units, the lot. (I decorated and fetched the tools as he needed them)

Oh pompa. You sound just like my DH. And he's into model aeroplanes! And yes, he's an engineer.

Mr P is an engineer, but specialises in one sector. Perhaps he is the exception to the rule, because he is the least argumentative person I know!

However, most types of DIY undertakings, even making a set of shelves, a new fence etc are meticulously planned, with detailed drawings etc. No scribble on the back of a metaphorical fag packet for him!

Mike Scuh's collection of engineer-mathematician-physicist jokes. Just google it.

Love it Absent
In my experience the most challenging engineers are those who are also involved in project management, as they take a particular delight in not only being right about everything, but also directing, delegating and adhering to the 'critical path'.
This is particularly irritating when the task they have taken it upon themselves to manage is completely outwith their area of expertise, like cooking dinner or making curtains.

Re jokes - pompa I'm sure you are familiar with the one about the Mushroom Society which all engineers belong to - because they're kept in the dark and covered in sh*t.

I'm an engineer, and still passionate about engineering.
"Arguing with engineers is like wrestling with pigs in mud. After 3 hours, you realise they are actually enjoying it."

"The glass is not half empty; the glass is not half full. It is the wrong size glass."

I can definitely see myself in these statements.

Problems are made to be solved.

Todays problem - find an engineers joke book.

Is there an engineer joke book?
I like the sound of it.
I dont even know an engineer.

My dad was one. Very precise - to the nearest Thou. ( engineers will get the joke. It's non metric! ) x

I was .married to a civil engineer.......enough said !!

Both Mr absent and my son-in-law are in engineering. They are both classic examples of "The glass is not half empty; the glass is not half full. It is the wrong size glass."