Engineers

Yes me. He thinks I'm even below having him critcise me. He also asks if there's a picture of me in the dictionary next to the word stupid. I think it's hilarious.

I WAS married to one. Everything was in black and white; no grey areas. He spent the whole of our marriage looking for fault in everything I did .

Both Mr absent and my son-in-law are in engineering. They are both classic examples of "The glass is not half empty; the glass is not half full. It is the wrong size glass."

I was .married to a civil engineer.......enough said !!

My dad was one. Very precise - to the nearest Thou. ( engineers will get the joke. It's non metric! ) x

Is there an engineer joke book?
I like the sound of it.
I dont even know an engineer.

I'm an engineer, and still passionate about engineering.
"Arguing with engineers is like wrestling with pigs in mud. After 3 hours, you realise they are actually enjoying it."

"The glass is not half empty; the glass is not half full. It is the wrong size glass."

I can definitely see myself in these statements.

Problems are made to be solved.

Todays problem - find an engineers joke book.

Love it Absent
In my experience the most challenging engineers are those who are also involved in project management, as they take a particular delight in not only being right about everything, but also directing, delegating and adhering to the 'critical path'.
This is particularly irritating when the task they have taken it upon themselves to manage is completely outwith their area of expertise, like cooking dinner or making curtains.

Re jokes - pompa I'm sure you are familiar with the one about the Mushroom Society which all engineers belong to - because they're kept in the dark and covered in sh*t.

Mike Scuh's collection of engineer-mathematician-physicist jokes. Just google it.

Mr P is an engineer, but specialises in one sector. Perhaps he is the exception to the rule, because he is the least argumentative person I know!

However, most types of DIY undertakings, even making a set of shelves, a new fence etc are meticulously planned, with detailed drawings etc. No scribble on the back of a metaphorical fag packet for him!

Oh pompa. You sound just like my DH. And he's into model aeroplanes! And yes, he's an engineer.

Mr E was not one to argue either.

He was an electrical engineer, on the design side, with an interest in all the house-building trades. Every homer he undertook was done like Mr P's - spread sheets, diagrams, calculations. I still have his files on every DIY job he did on the house, from shelves to a complete kitchen (he demolished walls and rebuilt them, did joinery, plastering, plumbing, tiling, electrics, installed units, the lot. (I decorated and fetched the tools as he needed them)

"Problems are made to be solved"

Round here that interprets into "don't throw it away yet. I can probably fix it". And yes, he will fix it - there will most likely be a bloody great bolt involved somewhere, the finished article will look like a spare part from an old submarine or german tank, but it will work. And I will throw it out. And buy a new one.

Does that sound familiar to Mrs P?

I thank my lucky stars I'm married to an agricultural engineer. Saved us a small fortune over the years in car maintenance/repairs, plumbing, building maintenance, general DIY etc.

He lives in his workshop and can be a grumpy old git if anyone disagrees with him. He's usually right but I never tell him that

Wow! They are all alike!

That is if it ever does get fixed, Jingl. I still have a cellar full of the things which were going to be repaired - sometime.

I love engineers. We have known several as neighbours and friends and they are always fixing stuff and they earn a fortune!!! That should get you going.

Wish mine had earned a fortune

Or mine.

Mr P has to live away during the week, and he still doesn't earn a fortune!

I know exactly what you mean janeainsworth Mr is an Electrical Engineer. Infact I eat, breath and sleep (or rather don't) engineering.

What irritates me the most (among many other things) is his ability to overthink and over analyse everything and not to recognize when he is boring someone to tears zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

absent

Wish mine had too merlot I would be out shopping instead of writing quotes and collecting overdue accounts.

Mind you on the positive side like merlot said earlier, mine too can fix almost anything if he has the time.

Dilbert Books? My ex used to buy them. I never owned anything new cause he used to fix everything. My kids used to be ashamed to be seen in the cars we used to drive. He even put a new engine in a Chrysler Alpine to keep it going for a few more years. I was the laughing stock of the car parts shop when I told them [having gone there to get more bits for it] ....

Mr P's speciality is drainage. Thank God he doesn't bring his work home with him!

He is currently working on surface water and highways drainage for a County Council, he previously worked on the flood plains project for Somerset.

He does do "foul" as well, which strikes me as odd. Ask him to empty the cat litter tray, and he suddenly has an urgent appointment elsewhere, but show him an overflowing drain with turds and tampons bobbing about in it, and he's like a pig in the proverbial!