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Whose rights should take priority?

(34 Posts)
petallus Thu 16-Oct-14 11:49:38

I don't feel sympathetic to this allergic person mainly because I think her behaviour in the taxi was overly dramatic and attention seeking.

I would feel hugely embarrassed if it were me stopping everyone from using ...... . what, makeup, deodorant, scented shampoo, nail varnish, hand cream.

Mishap Thu 16-Oct-14 11:17:55

It must be very trying for this lady. I have some sympathy - we used to take our little girls to Bourton-on-the-Water when they were little - they loved to go in the perfume shop, but I had to stay outside as I would have streaming eyes, blocked nose and wheezing just poking my nose in through the door.

There are bound to be situations where she inadvertently encounters perfume. I think her friends are right to try and accommodate this as best they can; and that you are not to be blamed for inadvertently causing a problem, so should not feel bad.

If I were her friend, I would certainly not wear perfume if I knew we were to meet. I would have no interest in my "rights" but just in her comfort.

Elegran Thu 16-Oct-14 11:05:59

It sounds as though she "enjoys bad health".

If she is so allergic that she can't share a car with someone with perfume on, she should make very sure that she never runs the risk of doing so - taxis, her own car, a bicycle . . . not sit there talking of nothing else and making you feel guilty for inadvertently invading her space.

I hate the smell of stale smoke, and have a raw throat for hours after accepting a lift in a smoker's car. There is one friend whose lifts I consistently turn down because of it. But I don't expect everyone in the world to be aware of my sensitivity (it is not as bad as an allergy) before I tell them of it.

Grannyknot Thu 16-Oct-14 11:00:20

... and I say that as someone who seems to be affected by some of the strong, modern perfumes. They make my nose close up, so when I come across someone with a strong perfume on, I surreptitiously turn my collar up or similar ... if I can't move away of course.

Grannyknot Thu 16-Oct-14 10:57:38

ann I'm with you. That woman can't expect everyone to know all about her allergies and be able to avoid causing her a problem. She should wear a mask to protect herself (like some of the cyclists wear and also seen during the Swine flu scare at the airports). I mean for goodness sake she's going to come across people wearing perfume all the time.

annsixty Thu 16-Oct-14 10:46:16

I perhaps didn't make it clear that I did not know that she was being picked up or even going to the event. If I had I would have made my own way there but I would still have worn make up and kept out of her way.

MammaTJ Thu 16-Oct-14 10:38:02

Hmm, a right to wear perfume, or a right to remain healthy? Which do you really think is more important? It is more about priority than rights, surely.

jinglbellsfrocks Thu 16-Oct-14 10:28:20

It's not really a question of rights, is it? More one of consideration. Obviously you didn't know about the friend's allergies when it happened, but now you do I'm sure you would take her sensitivity into consideration and not wear perfume when you are going to be in close proximity of her.

annsixty Thu 16-Oct-14 10:08:45

I didn't want to hijack the thread about smoking but this is a similar topic. A few days ago I had a lift with a friend and she also picked up another friend of hers who I know slightly. She has recently developed multiple allergies from sunlight to any trace of perfume and cosmetics. I was wearing perfume and was made to feel really uncomfortable as she almost cowered in the corner of the seat and made constant reference to her allergies. I asked someone else for a lift home. I asked first friend who I know goes to a monthly book group with her and she said that no-one in the group now wears anything scented at all to accommodate her and I wondered whose rights were being infringed.