Not so much chat

I haven't been a member of the forum for long ( nearly a year - since poor Carol left us?)
I find the folks on here very kind and polite compared with some of the other forums I belong to.
Some seem to know eachother from elsewhere, but it doesn't matter!
One thing I would like to know is who is male and who is female?
OTOH - does it matter?

one might make a world shattering observation wink, only for it to be ignored! or made by someone else later and applauded!

Just post afterwards saying 'I said that earlier'

Casawan

and found the 'in-crowd' reference quite off-putting with its implication that there is some sort of clique going on.

It happens everywhere and you will soon spot who belongs in that group and who doesn't and you can make your decision on which topics/people you feel you have the most in common.

I hope it doesn't put you off joining in. I feel sad when people leave for the wrong reasons, it means the forum just bumbles along in the same old way if it's just the same old faces with the same old opinions and the same old chosen topics up for discussion. Every forum needs new life breathed into it so give GN a fair try first

Oh yes £7.50 well spent - escapism and relaxation.

I'm glad to hear that, Sue - I've seen two widely different reviews of The Hundred Foot Journey and was hoping to get another viewpoint before I invest my £7.50.

I'm a bit boring and nothing much happens to e so I don't have a lot of chat. Now and again a thought pops into my head that isn't golf, clothes shopping or TV and I put something on. I haven't spent that much time on here lately as the weather has been good and I have been bashing a very small ball with a very long stick around a very big field- not many ladies are interested in that but I do stick my forpennorth in now and again.
By the way just come back from seeing The Hundred Foot Journey - I'm not a Helen Mirren fan but she is very good in that and the food!!!!

I agree with you Elegran. I don't post a lot, but do enjoy browsing what people have to say. Some of it is really interesting, some I have no idea what they are talking about, and I hope that those people who write of their sadness and sorrow feel better for putting into words.

A lot of interesting topics have been covered over the last year or two, so it could be that it's hard to think of a new debate, hence the quiet mood at the moment?

There are unpleasant people in every walk of life. Gransnet only has a few. You soon find out who they are, and you can avoid them by just ignoring their nonsense. If you get nasty PMs, then report them to GBNHQ at once.

I have been on Gransnet since the beginning but had to change my name for personal reasons. Life is horrendous at the moment so I come on here for some light relief.
I am not posting about the horrors as I just don't want to but I do value Gransnet and all those who contribute.

I'm new here and have been reading various postings to see what interests me. I have been pleasantly surprised by how polite everyone seems to be compared to other sites where people seem to take such delight in trying to destroy others. I was unsettled to read the comments about animosity, and found the 'in-crowd' reference quite off-putting with its implication that there is some sort of clique going on. And it looked so promising.

No I didn't Atqui so I have no idea what you are talking about. Sorry.

Nonnie did you ever see /read House of cards...'You may think that, I couldn't possibly comment' !!

Maybe you are not part of the in-crowd Atqui and that is why your post is ignored but applauded when posted by someone else?? I do suspect that some only read posts by certain people.

Isn't it strange that we can feel intimidated by people we don't know? I was once verbally 'attacked' with reference to what I thought was an innocent post, and it really upset me . By the time one has thought what to say tactfully and typed it it's often irrelevant. Or , one might make a world shattering observation , only for it to be ignored! or made by someone else later and applauded! Just a few random ideas as to why some people leave or don't post

I think that some people are put off by those who state their opinions and imply that anyone who thinks differently is completely wrong or stupid.

There is also occasional downright nastiness and very few apologies even when the proof is obvious. Why can't people apologise if they have made a mistake? I gave the wrong impression this morning, or I was misunderstood, but either way I apologised. It didn't hurt me at all!

Why do some think it is clever/appropriate to patronise or disparage others? It ruins any debate, is not clever and makes them look very insecure.

If you can't be nice at least be civilised.

Whitewave I to have been here since day 1 and have had the same thoughts in recent months but I do feel that as a forum progresses and grows people find their own way of posting,in the early days it was treading lightly whist we all found our own style or topics that interested us.
I don't post really about Politics etc as I am private in my opinions but everything else I either read the posts and replies & will comment if interested otherwise I keep my council.
We have indeed lost some members and I so miss the uplifting posts from one certain lady who we all loved and miss,she certainly was the most enlightening forum member anyone could wish for in my opinion.

There have been numerous posts where people have said they are leaving as they dislike the animosity, or they'll say this is why I don't post on threads like this anymore, or this is why I have stopped posting for a while - that doesn't take into account the PMs I have received stating much the same.

It isn't about disagreement, it's about the way it is done - often with a fair sprinkling of sneering from the antagonists especially when they group together. I won't mention a certain new poster that came in for it recently on one of the longer threads and she turned out to be correct in her statement - where were the apologies from those who railed against her so much? Where were the 'I was mistaken when I challenged your views' - funny how they suddenly go very quiet.

Ana

One or two members who used to keep the forum ticking over simply by posting a lot on a variety of subjects are no longer with us, and quite a few seem to have lost interest.

And we have seen humorous threads derailed by bickering and arguing and if it happens often enough, people end up thinking 'what's the point' and they move on to another forum. I started a few threads that were derided - espcially by one who thought threads should be more intellectually stimulating (as that is why they come on GN apparently) but they fail miserably to actually get those 'interesting' threads going themselves - I also gave up following the thought: 'what's the point'.

I find that it goes very quiet from time to time but it usually turns out to have been a really nice spell of weather, or perhaps children breaking up from school or a big event on TV. Some days I can't find anything to say, other days I run out of time to type it all.

Some of the arguments get a bit wearing, but it's nothing like as bad as some forums I have been on where everyone was very touchy and so cliquey that you could practically hear the sharp intake of breath if you dared to add a comment.

I find it hard to understand how/why people take a personal offence at some remarks. As I do not know anyone on GN in real life (other than a few met at a couple of meetups!) their opinion of me as an individual is their problem and not mine! If people I care about say something unkind or negative about me I might get upset..but people I don't know...No!

I understand why people get 'heated' over political/religious/social values and beliefs. I have strong beliefs and values that I would defend robustly! However, I do find it irritating when debate descends into immature squabbling. I try hard to resist but I am human too!

Also sometimes people post things, not necessarily with the intention of provocation, that hits a nerve with someone who understandably wants to put their perspective into the mix. The OP then takes umbrage and so it goes on....

I get irritated when even the most innocent thread is politicised or people get offended over an entirely innocent remark!

I think that maybe over this lovely summer we have all been out and about far more. Let's see what happens when the evening draw in and the weather cools! We may be drawn more fequently to the site!

I don't think it's just that, HollyDaze, things like that have always gone on.

One or two members who used to keep the forum ticking over simply by posting a lot on a variety of subjects are no longer with us, and quite a few seem to have lost interest.

I do think the nitpicking about swearing, confrontational posts etc. gets a bit much at times. People don't like being told how to behave and how to react.

Do you mean disagreement in debates or something else? Only I can't think why it would get personal. I do admit that I dip in and out of GN depending on what time I have so I suppose I must miss stuff.

People keep leaving due to frequent unpleasantness in threads; I remember commenting on that when I first joined and nothing has changed my opinion.

It will never be a lively, busy, chatty forum until more tolerance of others is shown.