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Howard Jacobson asks

(42 Posts)
petallus Mon 25-Aug-14 13:31:52

I agree with you janeainsworth. There was a hint of unpleasantness in the way he described the woman (though I suspect she was apocryphal). It has been said that he has a misogynistic attitude to women but I don't know enough about him to have an opinion on that.

He has been married three times and admits to having had many affairs with his students in the past so maybe I'm not too keen to take his advice on how gracefully I should age smile.

janeainsworth Mon 25-Aug-14 12:45:23

Well yes, but...... HJ was unkindly observing one woman whom he assumed to have had cosmetic surgery, and who apparently had a less than optimal outcome. He also had a little dig, in passing, at people who exercise strenuously, presumably to improve or strengthen their bodies, as opposed to ambling along the Promenade des Anglais.

Who is he, or we, to judge this woman or any woman?

I wonder how HJ would feel if his face was disfigured by trauma or cancer? Would he not want to have surgery to restore his features with the best possible outcome?
Essentially, there is no difference - there is a powerful urge within most people to make their appearance conform to their own image of themselves.

Whether that's covering themselves with tattoos, or multiple facial piercings, it's really not for other people to speculate where the pressure to conform to this image has come from, or to judge people on that basis.

Just saying!

Oldgreymare Mon 25-Aug-14 12:10:20

Good article, but it could apply to men too!
I know he was only acting, in a film, but the scene where Dirk Bogarde's character is persuaded to regain his youthful looks is particularly poignant (Death in Venice) and should dissuade both men and women from making themselves look more like 'Spitting Image' puppets.

thatbags Mon 25-Aug-14 11:53:56

Realistic about how ridiculous those demands are, I mean.

thatbags Mon 25-Aug-14 11:53:22

I think it's the demands of fashion and the demands of some parts of society for women to look beautiful in a certain youthful way that are cruel. The article is just realistic.

petallus Mon 25-Aug-14 11:35:26

It was a witty article, if a tad cruel.

I agree entirely with what he says though I think it is easier for men. He's over 70 and still very attractive.

The only thing I didn't like about the way the article was written was when he insisted on addressing me/us as 'reader'. I'm sure someone did that before! grin

Grannybug Mon 25-Aug-14 10:56:12

PRINTMISS smile

ffinnochio Mon 25-Aug-14 10:26:46

Wonderfully written.

kittylester Mon 25-Aug-14 08:04:39

Great article!

Great post PRINTMISS

PRINTMISS Mon 25-Aug-14 07:44:42

I thought it was great - as I tell everyone (and of course it is not a brilliantly new thing to say). I have worked hard all my life for these lines and wrinkles, lots of them are caused by laughter and smiles, some by tears and sorrow, but all of them are mine, and tell of a life lived long and in the main happily.

thatbags Sun 24-Aug-14 20:01:38

Glad you liked it. I loved his irreverent and humorous approach.

Iam64 Sun 24-Aug-14 19:54:31

Great article bags, many thanks.

vampirequeen Sun 24-Aug-14 08:07:52

Modern society and the media tell us that being young is everything. That's why celebrities feel they have to chase the youthful look. It's ok the ignore older people as they have no value. They're not revered for their wealth of experience and knowledge. A lot of people simply see them as a drain on the NHS and benefits system. Even those who continue to work are accused of causing unemployment to younger people as they 'block' a job by refusing to retire.

Purpledaffodil Sat 23-Aug-14 20:01:04

What a great article! Thanks thatbags. More and more 'celebs' seem to be looking like mummies these days and it's not just the women. I saw Julian Clary on TV today and he looked so different and wooden. I suppose if your career/ relationship are built on your looks and you have the money for 'work' then you do it, but the effect is often quite grotesque. confused

Mamie Sat 23-Aug-14 19:58:32

Not just women is it. I was watching something on TV where they showed the men and women at a conference to do with anti-ageing. They all looked as if they had been rather badly embalmed. hmm
French television presenters appear to go in for Botox and seriously scary coloured contact lenses (especially the men).

Mishap Sat 23-Aug-14 19:43:34

Well-written article, and hits the nail on the head. It is sad when women fight to retain their youth at the expense of their dignity and happiness. Deep insecurity lies at the bottom of all this - and cosmetic surgeons are happy to cash in.

thatbags Sat 23-Aug-14 19:28:28

Why do women trade the grace and dignity of age for a plastic look?