I could kick myself!

ruby I would keep shopping at the supermarket but also look at it as a sign that it would be a good idea to join some groups. That way you could meet some like minded people and maybe some eligible men too.

When I am visiting my son and family in Qld I bike ride every day. I am amazed at the amount of very fit men my age (60s) who are out there cycling. Pity you couldn't join a cycling club. You are only fifty, don't give up and do join some clubs. Good luck.

This is my advice from when I was 50 and my marriage of 30 years had ended. Start doing lots of interesting things; join a walking group or some sort of singles group that gets you out and about. Make your life happy again. Stop looking for someone. And, you know what; that's when you'll meet someone. Even people in my singles group agreed with me. I was the only one not actually looking for a relationship, just frendship and a social life and I ended up with my current partner of 12 years.

Absolutely, Nonu and Grannyknot! I'll look forward to that bite of celery, rubylady

ruby someone with the guts to try again, like you have, deserves a good man. "Fortune favours the brave". If you can't take an occasional risk in life - how dull and predictable it all would be .

My Dear RUBY your quite honest post made me well up Sweetie.

Don"t know how to advise you

I do know however, that maybe some how , some way something will turn up. Impossible as it may seem!! Keep the faith !!

Thanks ladies for your comments and for the husbands who looked alarmed at the suggestion of me giving my phone number.

On thinking about it I could have asked him to wait for me and chat to him some more (although his meal for one would have been defrosting!)

I have tried internet dating with the success of only finding guys not suitable and even so you eventually give your number to them in order to make arrangements etc. If I had given my number and he turned out to be a weirdo, then it would only take me to changing my number to get it sorted, which I intend to do shortly anyway.

I know from talking to certain people on here that I am too trusting and can get fooled but I'd rather be like that I guess than be cynical and become like my mother, hard and unloving. I have had abuse most of my life and now would like to settle down with a man who will treat me well and kind. How am I supposed to find that person if I don't take any chances at all and play my life safe all the time. This isn't a rehearsal, this is it. I've probably about 20 years left (due to health conditions) so want to have them with someone loving. I sit on my own night after night, which was fine for a while but I occasionally want some company. Someone to laugh with and share a film or whatever.

He might have someone, who knows? But from the sound of it from what he said (and I know some men can lie, I was married to one), he did sound single. He was lovely though, soft Scottish accent, tall, broad, protective looking. Probably hairy chest to run my fingers....stop it!

I will go back on Saturday and see if he is there, I doubt it really. But from what you have all said, the consensus seems to be to go for it if he is. Who knows how or where we might meet our next victim, lol, but fate sometimes has something in store for us we do not know about, maybe literally.

As for the Tesco man (why are these men supermarket based? ) I haven't seen him again yet, but if I do I will engage him further in conversation and let you know. It's just flirting and testing the waters, something I was maybe better at in my youth but got a bit rusty at when I've been off the dating circuit for some good many years now. I'm just getting back on the horse and finding out who would be suitable. I'm not out on the prowl, looking in men's baskets, checking out their meal for one, lol, I happened to catch this guy's finger with the stick thing I put down to separate groceries and apologised. It got us chatting. You can use that one ladies if you need it, lol.

No, no cafe in supermarket but there are in the village.

I can't do walking clubs due to health issues. But other groups would be a good idea, thanks.

My confidence was a bit low when I came on here first but with chatting to you wonderful people, it has come back somewhat, thank you to you all. My son put me down earlier in a row, making me feel rubbish and yes, he's prob right that I should lose some weight to improve my health so back to Tesco it is then .

It will happen one day and when it does, you're all be welcome to a piece of the celery stick... sorry... cake!

In reply to jainainsworth. Needs must when the devil drives. Sorry, rubylady, it just had to come out.
On a serious note: we have 3 male, unattached friends who we socialise with and they can all spot a 'needy' woman a mile off. Try and make sure that your not giving out the wrong vibe.
I have a very attractive, intelligent friend but I can't invite her to any of our get togethers because she is needy and my male single friends run a mile.
It's become a joke now amongst our crowd.

Would those of you who would give your phone number to a complete stranger advise your teenage GD's to do the same?
What sort of message does that send out?
How do you know having chatted to them for 2 minutes that they are not some variety of weirdo that pop up on GN from time to time?
I must confess I'm if not gobsmacked, at the naivety being shown here.

Soutra makes a good point!I would not give out your phone number either, as somebody could become a phone pest.You don't want to look too desperate either, try internet dating, always make the first date a coffee and chat, and don't give your address. If you like them [when you meet] have a further date, and then see how it goes. Good Luck.

Sadly real life is not always like When Harry Met Sally or Pretty Woman and thete may be very good reasons why he is shopping for meals for one- you might have had a lucky escape! However if you are "seriously" looking I know of 3 friends, divorced or widowed who have each found new soulmates through walking clubs. You also get fit so potentially a win-win situation

I suppose the only way is to regularly lurk around the checkout at that supermarket and hope to see him again. Giving a man your phone number is tricky, or would be for me, but on the other hand, why not?
The main thing is to find out if he is single, and the only way is to ask him, I suppose.
One part of your message resonated with me; you said it's not the ex boyfriend who you miss now, but the things you did together. I so agree.
My ex went off with someone else, over 5 years ago now, and I missed him unbearably at first. I don't any more, but I do miss our lifestyle, our holidays, our fun, our travels in a camper van. It's just not the same on your own, is it.
Good luck in your search! I hope the lovely chap turns up again.

Having said the above re the women that seem to fancy my husband, that doesn't mean that I am making fun of those in their latter years looking for new relationships - and, often I'd say - they're welcome to him now!

I have another friend who had a lot of sadness in her 2 long term relationships, first husband was an alcoholic and died youngish, left her with two teenagers to raise, and her second husband was a depressive who kept threatening suicide (he eventually died of a heart attack and was found having made all the preparations for yet another suicide attempt). She is my age (65) and for the past 3 years has been in a relationship with a man who spoils her and had made her happier than I've ever known her to be.

My sister was divorced at 50 and said to me recently "the time has flown so quickly, and I never anticipated that I would still be on my own at 68". So go for it, ruby while you're young.

Agree with jane. I would run.
Is there a cafe at the supermarket ruby? In case you have another 'chance' meeting?

My widowed eldest sister and widowed elder brother have just returned from a river cruise from Amsterdam to Budapest. My sister was approached by an American lady one evening and asked for a private word. She wanted to know if my brother was "available" so my sister said "Why don't you ask him?"

Apparently he's not!

Gk

jane re Mr A - that's what my husband would react like too.

I have quite a few single friends who fawn over my husband (particularly his DIY skills and his lovely singing tenor) so I love to tease him and say there'll be a queue forming should anything happen to me - and that's when he assumes the alarmed expression .

Or the Iceland delivery man, although probably he would be short , fat & balding

rubylady has her eye on one of hers, though!

None of my Tesco delivery men are suitable for falling back on!

And there's always the Tesco delivery man to fall back on! (not literally, of course...)

In the same circumstances I would like to think I would have offered my number,but in reality i would be loitering by the checkout same time next week and then would suggest a coffee as it sounds very promising and why the heck not?

Nothing to do with wedding rings Lona, I do have one but even if I didn't, I'd be wary of a complete stranger who tried to pick me up in a supermarket!

I put Ruby's situation to MrA and he assumed an alarmed expression. He frequently buys dinners-for-one at the supermarket when I am off gadding somewhere and didn't realise he might be viewed as fair game by fellow shoppers on the prowl

I will quite happily chat like that at the checkout, but love my single lifestyle too much to take it any further, so if a relationship was in the offing it would need a few further 'chance' encounters to convince me to give anyone my number. Why seize on that one enjoyable chat with a stranger, rubylady? if you're ready for another relationship, there will be more opportunities. Don't rush in when you can create further opportunities by joining social groups and get to know people better first.

Ah janea but you'll be sporting a wedding ring probably

Oh yes - go again at the same time and perhaps suggest a coffee in the café - then you can wrestle him to the floor and have your wicked way with him.