Geriatric??

I agree with Nonnie when she says that stay-at-home mums (or dads) can be just as interested in current affairs, the arts, creativity, etc. Some people have particularly responsible or interesting careers, but many are doing jobs that are extremely boring. Sitting in front of a computer screen all day, for instance, is not necessarily very intellectually stretching.

Homemaking is a very important role but is unfortunately not really valued as such in Britain. Women (or, less commonly, men) who stay at home to bring up their families are financially reliant upon their partners and whilst some partners share their income equally, others do not. Also, once the children are older, someone who has not worked may feel at a loose end and would enjoy a change of environment and a chance to relieve the pressure on family finances. But it may then be difficult to get back into the employment market.

I think there is far too much emphasis on everyone working, and particularly working long hours, especially parents with young children. That is, though, the way this society is run and it makes it very difficult for people to make other choices.

AW Shucks NONNIE you have made me you seem nice as well .

Thank you for the Interflora have just delivered them !!

Well I don't mind being confused with Nonu she seems very nice! for you nonu and for you Aka for being less than perfect just like me!

I've known a few women who have had such controlling husbands (the control was done in a very subtle way) that their own self-confidence was so low, such little belief left in themselves

Hollydaze your comment would have rung a bell for many of the women students I used to have on some of the Confidence Building courses I ran in Adult Education.

I've noticed a couple of GN posters regularly use words in their comments which make me realise they are in this position NOW. They always put themselves down, saying they are nor worthy and there is nothing they can do about it and this is what the family expects of them. It's as if they have given up all control of their lives and must keep everyone happy, except themselves.

It would be inappropriate for me to advise any of these women as I no longer teach, but it is very difficult to ignore their plight.

I realise if their partners are violent then they have to be very careful, but if their partners just get into a strop, or stop talking and become moody, well so be it. The partner won't change so they need to approach things in a different way.

Yes, though sometimes I think we are more discredited by some!

PS I thought Nancy Drew was a fictional character? What's she been up to with those Hardy Boys?

Yes, sometimes they do credit one of us with the other's viewpoint or posts, don't they Aka?

I think there is !

Aka

Oh dear must get my Nonnies and my Nonus straight in my head. Perhaps it's because I tend to agree with much of what you both post (please ignore my grammar). Isn't there a Ninny too?

People often get me muddled with Ana too

AKA,

You are getting your NONNIES MIXED UP WITH YOUR NONUS.

I don"t mind, because as it so happens I agree with NONNIE.

Chuckle!

Yeh, I know a couple of those too Nonu and in one case, at least, the husband is a poor little hen-pecked fellow!

I've known women who have used their husbands as an excuse not to do things - he won't let me etc. Easier than saying 'no'

I know what you mean silverfish I know a couple of women who have put up with bad marriages and controlling husbands simply because the alternative would be to go out, get a job and fend for themselves.

I've known a few women who have had such controlling husbands (the control was done in a very subtle way) that their own self-confidence was so low, such little belief left in themselves, that the thought of coping alone terrified them - they didn't believe that they could do it. Sadly, none of them ever did (up until the time I left the area) bite the bullet and try.

I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel to live like that - there but for the grace of God and all that ...

gillybob

I know what you mean silverfish I know a couple of women who have put up with bad marriages and controlling husbands simply because the alternative would be to go out, get a job and fend for themselves.

Galen I had a friend like that. She used to, metaphorically, sit like a vulture waiting for my marriage to collapse because DH had to use some of his leave to look after the children in the holidays. When she thought of returning to work her DH looked at her in horror and said 'Who will look after me when I am ill?' so she didn't go back to work!

I like both of your posts FLICK &* NONNIE*.

You both have your ducks in a row !

My mil didn't approve of me working, especially after I had children. She thought a woman's place was in the home and that I should have her sons meal cooked ready when he came home and do all the cleaning and be a good little wife! Moi?
Fortunately her son didn't agree!

That's what I mean Holly, if anyone does not work how can they be exposed to the realities of life, they only see what on the media.

I'm sorry I can't agree, that may apply to some women but not to all. When I wasn't working when my children were young I was involved in all sorts of things which were unpaid and I listened to radio 4 when I was at home. I met a lot of different types of people but when I went to work I mixed with just a small group of the same people all the time and my life was a lot narrower. I am not keen on these sweeping statements.

No-one has attacked Silverfish when she talks of her own experience and the experience of some other women. Most of us have known women in oppressive relationships and wondered why they stayed and where possible tried to help them.

Those of us who protested did so because our own relationships didn't work like that and we objected to the all encompassing 'we all'. Why vehemently? In defence of the men we love dearly, who we did not want to see accused of this type of behaviour.

In response to Silverfishes quote from a friend that 'a bad man is better than no man at all', my mother always said that 'a happy a marriage is the best way of living but better happily single than unhappily married'.

I confess I have little experience of marriages where the woman doesn't work. Both my mother and MiL worked and DMiL was the main wage earner because for most of his working life DFiL's work was seasonal. In the off season he took what ever work he could get. My father had a professional job and my mother worked because she enjoyed it and I doubt if it would have occurred to him that he had any right to object. If she was happy that was sufficient for him.

Twinkle in the eye emoticon !

I've also heard some dreadful things from women I've known over the years that made my heart weep for them.

Naughty Nonu

haven't heard that one, sounds good to me, especially with my figure.

Mind you there is an old, old adage:-

If you have got a good "un, blind him in one eye.

If you have a bad "un blind him in both eyes.