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Are you trusting or suspicious?

(30 Posts)
sunseeker Tue 29-Jul-14 13:53:59

I would say I am cautious rather than suspicious. The people I trust completely can be counted on the fingers of one hand, others I sort of trust but am wary. My late DH trusted everyone until they proved he couldn't trust them and then they were cut out of his life completely. I'm not sure which is the better way!

Grannyknot Tue 29-Jul-14 13:52:32

Jess I'm a bit like you in that I was always completely trusting - to my detriment. I suppose I was naive. But life has taught me to be more cautious. So I wouldn't say I am suspicious, but I am a lot more cautious than before, when I would simply trust everyone in sight.

One of the experiences that also opened my eyes was when I worked (in SA) in the criminal justice system. After a while I would look at people that I had just met and think "How many previous convictions do you have?" grin that was when I knew it was time to look for another job.

Mind you, when I was a juror recently I was again struck by (for example) the mild mannered, well dressed man in the dock who was a prolific car thief (he had 150 previous convictions). If the young me had met him socially I'd have been oblivious even to the thought that he might be anything other than a very nice person.

joannapiano Tue 29-Jul-14 13:49:08

My DH was a senior detective in the Met and is still suspicious in nature. He couldn't have done his job without that trait!
I am the complete opposite and try to think the best of everyone-despite having a fairly difficult childhood.
We balance each other out, although I do get fed up with the way he works out who killed whom on TV crime series. And insists on telling me before the end.
In fact, we have agreed to disagree for 44 years so far!

Lona Tue 29-Jul-14 13:35:59

I'm suspicious and cynical because that's what my experience of life has taught me.
It started with my first husband who was a detective in the Drug Squad/CID/RCS and he drummed into me gave me instructions about what not to do when answering the phone/front door etc.
25 years of being married to him and I've never trusted anyone since!

JessM Tue 29-Jul-14 13:23:41

Someone recently generalised that we are a trusting bunch on Gransnet.
This led me to think - am I trusting or suspicious?
Concluded that my nature is trusting but my experience has taught me to be cautious and sometime suspicious.
I am, generally, suspicious of men - a stepfather who turned into an emotional abuser plus a first husband who was also abusive were key learning experiences. Amazed by older women who fling themselves into relationships and even marriage with little knowledge of the man.
I am less suspicious of women - shocked once when a member on this forum said something like "I would never take another woman shopping because I would not expect that they would want me to look nice". This would never cross my mind.