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heirlooms

(31 Posts)
henetha Tue 22-Jul-14 11:34:58

How guilty should I feel if I decide to sell off some old family heirlooms?
I've asked around in the family and none of them seem very interested in these things. So, to sell or not to sell? I could sure use the money, and yet it feels not quite right, somehow.

Nonu Tue 22-Jul-14 11:43:07

Sell them and use the money to buy yourself something nice!

Chuckle

henetha Tue 22-Jul-14 11:44:54

Thanks Nonu grin

Tegan Tue 22-Jul-14 11:51:24

A friend of mine was burgled and lost some old family jewellery which she was, obviously very fond of. But her approach was 'well, someone else will enjoy it now'. Better for stuff to go to people that want and value it than being stuck in a cupboard. I recently gave away an old book that had been a school prize; the person I gave it to had been looking for that book for ages. It felt like chopping my arm off [I hang on to everything, especially books] but I feel really good about it now.

suebailey1 Tue 22-Jul-14 11:53:05

Oh Yes sell them sometimes these things are dragging you down and need to be let go or simply unused and unloved- buy something nice or have a good time doing something memorable.smile

Purpledaffodil Tue 22-Jul-14 12:09:41

Having cleared out the parental home two years ago, I would say sell it all if you can. It is sad to see stuff just abandoned to the dump or the charity shop because you cannot possibly keep everything. Especially as no one in your family wants it either. Get thee to EBay, or similar. grin

Nonu Tue 22-Jul-14 12:14:22

Henetha mind you I am a fine one to talk , I don"t get rid of Stuff.

Am going to leave that job to my offspring !!

What am I like ??

grin

jollyg Tue 22-Jul-14 12:55:34

Himself has a whole room full of stuff, and its not a small room either, plus books in every room , landing etc, we live in a large town house.

I try and give 'my' collection of books to the Christian Aid sale annually, quite a treasured collection, but as I will not be visiting China again, the memory of my visits remain in my memory.

My Mum kept trying to give me stuff, but she did the sensible thing when she decided on her own to move to a 'retirement' flat.

Her choice, cant see Himself doing that.

janerowena Tue 22-Jul-14 15:18:34

Please sell it, you will be doing people like me such a favour. My inlaws have been buying bigger and bigger houses to contain all the furniture they have inherited. They want to pass it on but no-one wants it. I have told them that at the most we may want to choose one piece each to remember them by. We have got into trouble in the past for getting rid of things they have given us, but really they passed things on that they didn't want to house either! FiL is an prganist and even has a full-sized orgn. I find the thought of clearing out their belongings very worrying. I have threatened to just get the house clearance people in if they don't start clearing out some of it themselves. FiL retorted that if I did that, I wouldn't find the will, because he was going to hide it. I replied that frankly I didn't care, I would rather not inherit any money than have to go through several thousand books and music scores contained in hundreds of ancient and dusty antique cupboards and shelves.

Given the choice, I would take FiL's old armchair for DBH, and one of MiL's paintings. Things that genuinely remind me of both of them.

Tegan Tue 22-Jul-14 15:24:32

Thousands of old books and music scores shock. I think they need to adopt me and I'll move all of mine in with theirs and live happily ever after inamisshavishamsortofway.

janerowena Tue 22-Jul-14 15:38:58

grin We have enough of those of our own. In fact DBH is out now and while he is gone, a whole wall of his books is going into cardboard boxes because we need to decorate that room. Why we (DS and I) are surreptitiously doing it - like his parents, he would take hours looking at each precious piece and it would take him months. We will do it in a couple of hours.

granjura Tue 22-Jul-14 16:56:52

But do NOT give them away- or he will never forgive you- truly.

I have strict instructions NOT to get rid of anything by DD1- thank goodness we have plenty os space. She will have to take a year or two off work to sort it all out eventually;)

sparkygran Tue 22-Jul-14 17:11:18

I inherited a lot of family silver over the years then we moved from large family house, to cottage and now live in an apartment so over all these moves I have had to clear out - my darling offspring said "don`t go palming all that silver onto us we have no time to clean it" so I sold the lot and we went on a lovely holiday I think to Canada on the proceeds.

sparkygran Tue 22-Jul-14 17:11:18

I inherited a lot of family silver over the years then we moved from large family house, to cottage and now live in an apartment so over all these moves I have had to clear out - my darling offspring said "don`t go palming all that silver onto us we have no time to clean it" so I sold the lot and we went on a lovely holiday I think to Canada on the proceeds.

janerowena Tue 22-Jul-14 17:26:13

It's all now safely in boxes, don't worry granjura! In DS's Den under the table. We even kept them in author order for him. Have to admit my fingers were itching though!

granjura Tue 22-Jul-14 17:41:04

LOL good on you ;)

My mum threw away a lot of my dad's stuff (ancient postcards, stamps, etc, etc) when they moved- and he was still going on about it 30 years later !
(and he probably was right about some gems there).

ninathenana Tue 22-Jul-14 23:27:32

Mum and dad had nothing for my brother and I to inherit. grin
I have mum's wedding and engagement ring, a locket and two biscuit tins of photos that's it. Mum hated dust gatherers ornaments and all their furniture was contemporary.

absent Wed 23-Jul-14 00:32:18

There's nothing like moving house twice in three years, in the second case halfway across the world, for opportunities to declutter. I, too, inherited a large batch of family "treasures", some of which I still have and use and many of which I sold or gave to charity shops. Who needs three silver teapots (or even one for that matter)? I have some family jewellery that I shall probably pass on to my granddaughters - absentdaughter dislikes yellow gold so she probably won't want it - and a few other things that someone in the family here might like. Meanwhile, when absentdaughter was stuck for paying some bills, selling a collection of wedding rings and other bits of old gold that no one, including me, ever wore, sorted out the problem and I am sure that my ma and aunties would have applauded such practical use of their stuff. However, I do wear their pretty engagement rings from time to time.

Eloethan Wed 23-Jul-14 00:59:05

It's not until you have to deal with someone's personal effects that you realise (1) how upsetting it is to see the old photos, ancient school reports, diaries, letters, etc., and (2) that however dear a person has been to you, most of the bits and pieces of their lives will, often with some guilt, be disposed of.

In henetha's case, I think it's perfectly reasonable to sell items of some value that neither you nor anyone in your family likes or wants. If there is anything that particularly brings back memories of the owner and which you feel guilty about parting with, perhaps you could just photograph it.

Ariadne Wed 23-Jul-14 09:27:18

We sent quite a lot of stuff to auction when we moved down here - including a couple of pieces of furniture inherited via my mother from my grandmother. There was nothing else to do - there was nowhere it would fit, either in style or, more importantly, in actual space. I did have an oak drop leaf table converted to a coffee table, though, and it is lovely.

glammanana Wed 23-Jul-14 10:18:39

henetha If the items you have inherited are stored away and not giving you visual pleasure I would certainly sell them and give someone else the pleasure,and you the pleasure of increasing your bank balance, you will always remember the person who they belonged too without the items to remind you.

d4dsquared Wed 23-Jul-14 12:53:18

If you could use the money, I'm sure your parents would be happy for you to sell the the things. You will, I'm sure, keep something small as a dear memento. Tastes and needs change. I think the only thing I would really hesitate to sell would be something like war medals - they are so intensely personal they feel as though they should stay somewhere within the family somehow. I hope it all goes well for you.

Purpledaffodil Wed 23-Jul-14 14:20:18

Wise words Eloethan. I think it is the ephemera/documentary stuff which is hardest to deal with. I still have my Dad's address book, cannot imagine why. Because of circumstances, we had to have a house clearance firm for my parents' house and we were advised it is best to just go and leave them to it, because it is too upsetting to watch. Worse yet, I never thought my parents had that much 'stuff' whereas we seem to accumulate it by magic. Being the repository of three grown up children's memories doesn't help eithersmile Year 6 topic books from 1989 anyone?

hildajenniJ Wed 23-Jul-14 14:45:53

My DD is amazed that I haven't kept very much to remind me of her childhood. She seems to have almost everything her children have made her. When she moved house recently she got the DGC to dispose of the toys they no longer play with and gave them to the local nursery. She didn't do the same for her things and complained about all the stuff she had in boxes. Neither of my children wants anything from this house. I've told them to sell everything after we're gone, and divide the proceeds between them all, it seems the fairest way.

henetha Wed 23-Jul-14 15:36:39

Some great ideas and advice there. Thank you girls (and boys?) for your friendly comments.
I think I know what I shall do now..... sell most of it but just keep anything really special, like the war medals.