#everydayageism

Yesterday I went to a restaurant in Manchester at lunch time, they were not too busy but lots of younger people, as soon as we went in were offered a table well away from everyone else. we did complain and got seated where we wanted.

If you want to be seriously patronised try being over 60 AND a wheelchair-user. Example: I was about to cross a street in town when a car sped round the corner. A younger woman waiting next to me flung her arm across me to restrain me (not necessary as I'd already stopped). I didn't resent it too much as if (like me) you've had children,you almost do that on 'automatic pilot'. She then turned to me and said, as though speaking to a small child, 'It's safe to cross now'. I said, rather tartly and sarcastically , 'I know. I can see it is'. No reaction at all!

There's that saying about better safe than sorry. On balance, I think I'd prefer someone to be over helpful than otherwise. Why resent helpfulness even if it is misplaced?

In answer to anno's question about why being elderly isn't seen as honourable here even though it is in many cultures, I wonder if it's because so many of us resist being thought elderly and get all stroppy when someone suggests or implies it?

It's a pretty fine line, in my opinion, between being 'over helpful' and being patronising. Like most people, I guess, I resent the latter. But (as I hoped I'd suggested in my reaction to the woman's original 'arm fling') I try, cheerfully to tolerate the former. The way she then spoke to me was far too much in the 'does she take sugar' manner to be tolerated without any reaction. To be quite frank I don't feel that such behaviour should pass without provoking any comment as this implies that it is reasonable and/or acceptable - which it isn't.

In recent months I keep hearing references on the news to 'well off pensioners' in connection with young people struggling to find work/ get a mortgage / buy a house ... I find it a kind of inverted ageism .. not even sure if that's the right way to describe it ... but feel as though older people are being cast in the role of villains, by anonymous suveys which seem to suggest we've all got too much money. Anyone else notice this?

Oh and a man in Asda called me 'my darling.' I don't think he'll be calling anyone else darling in that peculiarly unctuous voice reserved for females over the age of about fifty.

And have you noticed they never define exactly what income level makes a 'well-off pensioner' well off. I did see it defined (by Ed Milliband) as pensioners paying the 40pence tax rate. I really do not think there are many of those about.

Do people want us all to live in poverty and be dependent on state benefits?

I heard on the news again today that, one of the party leaders, I was so disinterested I don't know which one, said again that tv licenses,bus passes etc are safe except for well off pensioners and again no figures or other criteria.

Well, as I have said a number of times, I would get rid of all the bells and whistles and replace them with a large rise in the Guarantee Pension Credit level. As this filtered through Savings Credit, it would gradually leave better off pensioners paying for the extras they receive and would solve the whole problem for minimum effort.

But who ever heard of a government making anything easy for themselves or other people. Maximum complexity is what keeps them going.

I would like to point out that not everyone who knits is past it!
I once read an article about an extremely successful, young, high flying woman who listed knitting amongst her hobbies.

I feel being 'invisible' to be the most difficult. Although one male driver did give me the 'V' sign when he failed to stop where I was waiting at a zebra crossing. No consolation!