Gransnet forums

Chat

Dame Joan Bakewell - anyone agree?

(35 Posts)
KatyK Mon 26-May-14 13:05:25

What a great attitude Flickety - I have never been like that. If I am going through bad stuff, I can only see the bad and suppose wallow in it. I think my dreadful upbringing and subsequent deaths of young family members has coloured my way of thinking. I was an anxious, frightened child who has become an anxious, frightened adult. I envy your way of thinking and must try harder. There are folks who go through many dreadful things and remain upbeat about life. As you say, it's down to your personality. My DD always says to me 'mom if life throws you lemons, make lemonade'.

granjura Mon 26-May-14 12:44:21

Couldn't have said it better FlicketyB.

Soutra Mon 26-May-14 12:15:53

Way to go flicketyB smile

FlicketyB Mon 26-May-14 12:02:18

Of course life has its ups and downs, and retirement is no different. In the first five years of retirement I seemed to go to a family funeral every other month as my parent's generation all decided that enough was enough and passed away. But most had lived into their late 80's and 90's in reasonable health and mental fitness, my daughter was seriously injured in a road accident three years ago and in the last two years both DDiL and DGS have developed medical problems that proving difficult to diagnose or treat.

I think a lot of it depends on your natural personality. I have always tended to be an irritatingly upbeat person - and while difficult events do cause pain and unhappiness, I can tie the pain and unhappiness to the event rather than let it suffuse every aspect of my life. My DD's accident was frightening, worrying, tiring, as we looked after her at home for several months and is still a niggling worry as she continues treatment and assesses its permanent affects on her, but I even when she was in hospital I could still sit down and enjoy the pleasure of a tomato picked fresh from the garden.

KatyK Mon 26-May-14 12:00:42

You upbeat lot make me feel like a right misery! - just going through a bad patch. smile

Soutra Mon 26-May-14 11:58:45

I think she has made valid points but let:s not over-think things. Or else you might as well turn your face to the well. There may not be as much to look forward to (another year older and deeper in debt?) although a new DGC is always a happy prospect, so let's give up "looking forward" and enjoy the present. It is sad to lose dear friends and even more sobering when they were what my Dad always used to call "no age".
But life is a great gift- let's enjoy it while we can!!grin

KatyK Mon 26-May-14 11:41:39

I think it depends what's going on in your life at the time you read something like this. Glad you are having fun Flick smile

POGS Mon 26-May-14 11:38:22

It does come down to health and having the ability to lead an independent life style, having a bob or two makes a big difference as well.

Joan Bakewell appears to be blessed with all 3 and she can only speak as she find.

I dare say there will be many OAP's who would have an opposite view of life, so she is right to count her blessings.

FlicketyB Mon 26-May-14 11:29:27

I am fortunate to have my health and a good income - and those both make an enjoyable old age more achievable.

Having said that I am with Dame Joan, I am having a ball. My income is as safe as an income can be, I have children, grandchildren and friends and relations that I now have time to visit at my leisure. Yesterday we were with friends celebrating 40 years in the same house. we moved to the same village at the same time with children of matching age and gender, their photo of themselves and children the first summer they were there was a jolt, We have a similar picture of us at our house.

I now have time to do all those things I couldn't do when work ruled the day, cultivate my garden, grow vegetables, with my daughter's encouragement take up needlework and craft work again, I am volunteer with a heritage organisation and pursue my passion for archaeology.

Yes, a close friend died recently, but throughout my life I have experienced the death of friends and acquaintances at all ages, my sister died in her mid-40s, although I admit this recent death has shaken the tree.

But overall old age and retirement has been fantastic and long may it remain so.

KatyK Mon 26-May-14 10:50:59

Joan, speaking at the Hay Festival, said that old age is wonderful (she is 81). She said you lose friends, family, that she dreads opening newspapers for fear of seeing another obituary for some one she knows. She said memorial services are the new 'parties' because you are celebrating someone's life. She also mentions the fact that there is always the fear of death lurking. She also list the advantages of not having to worry about your weight or what people think etc. Anyone else agree? I personally can't see many advantages to getting old, apart from the fact that I am still here, not having to work and grandchildren being the only three I can come up with. The rest of it is not to be recommended in my view. I'm sure many of you will come up with lots of advantages. smile It is in the Daily Mail online - sorry can't do links.