Limerick writing Mark 2 alphabetical !

How Hannibal showed he could forwardly plan
He crossed the Alps with a caravan
His soldiers and jumbos
Hammered those dumbos
Harrassing their rear - cos he can.

(But then, if you pronounce it 'milit'ry' it would fit...it's a minefield!)

(I think it's the 'military' that doesn't fit. Soldier, fighting, leading...? )

Hannibal was a young military man (perhaps?)

(rhythm!)

(No, I think the problem is that the first line doesn't have the rythym of a limerick. Not nit-picking, just saying...)

(Too long?)

He crossed the Alps with a caravan

(Too short?)

Hannibal was a military man.

Yes, I agree, Elegran and Ana... I had real trouble finding something to rhyme with toothlessly and ruthlessly.. Sorry ladies.....

Gran's now dribbling harmlessly

(And there's no such word as 'forsoothlessly'! )

(Henetha that line doesn't sit right, somehow. It is too long and limps rather. Can't see what to change without losing either the G or the rhyme or both, though)

Gran's now screaming and shouting, forsoothlessly.

Gutted it wasn't, alas

Got the impression it was grass

Gran chewed it somewhat toothlessly

Grabbing the bindweed ruthlessly

For he knew all is allowed.....

From somewhere north

Felix let forth

Fearing becoming too cowed

(Dunno how that smiley got in)

(no they didn't)

(I am not misquoting
Far from the maddening crowd