Being carefree

Another who had an anxious childhood. My Mother struggled with 'nerves' and was hospitalised during the first ten years of us 3 children growing up. My Father was working long hours and like our Mother found it impossible to show us any love or affection and being the eldest I remember feeling 'Mum' to my brother and sister at 6 or 7 years old. My sister was 4 at the time and my brother 1.
But I was carefree when I married my OH at nineteen, he was 21. Our daughter was born just before my 21st birthday. We lived in a lovely old cottage, range and bread oven and beams, rented it for a very reasonable rent. We had no money but we were a very happy little family.

I have had one never-to-be-forgotten, blissfully carefree week in the last umpteen years. After three dreadfully sad years, my sister in law persuaded me to fly - for the first time in my life - to Italy, to spend a week with her, her husband and my niece, nephew and his girlfriend, at their villa. I felt loved, cherished, spoiled and totally carefree, thrilled to be abroad for the first time, blessed to be with my family. We laughed, ate, drank, swam, talked - and I healed a lot. For the first time in a long time, I didn't have to worry about a single thing.

Does being carefree equate with happiness? I think you can can be without a care in the world, but that old black cloud can still descend.

There's cheerful, eh?

I think it depends - I was certainly happy that week because for the first time in a long time, I truly had no worries, nobody depending on me to sort things, nobody leaning on me or relying on me to make better things that couldn't be made better. So yes, having lived with constant worry and grief for three years, being carefree made me happy.

I think having no one depending on me, relying on me or leaning on me, would make me miserable. I would hate it.

I think the older we get, the harder it becomes to be truly 'carefree'.

My own most carefree years were with my first husband, before we had children. Since becoming a mother I've never been carefree, nor can I foresee being so in the future...(for various reasons!)

I am contented with my lot and generally happy, but I'm not sure about carefree.

I don't think I have been totally carefree since about age 9 and doing the 11+
There is always something to worry about, usually about 4.00 am, often silly little things but nonetheless they still stop me being completely carefree.

I had three years of first husband then eldest daughter having terminal cancer jings. And said daughter giving birth to a child with Down syndrome. And father being diagnosed with first throat then prostate cancer. And MiL being told she had cancer which turned out to be TB. And all of them needing so much. So one meagre week of having nobody expecting me to put things right was bliss.

I'm glad you had that week.

Dragonfly

I empathised with your post Dragonfly about the desire to have a break from having so many people depending on you, needing you.

Me too! Dragonfly

Thank you, Iam and rose. It was a lovely, carefree hiatus and gave me a chance to draw breath and regroup. X

And Lona. X

Dragonfly

Xx

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'm not sure that I've ever been 'carefree'. I don't look back on my life with a rosy glow, I've made many mistakes and had periods of deep unhappiness from a very early age.

I'm getting better at recognising that other people were sometimes partly responsible for my state of mind and not to beat myself up too much.

I think I'm settling into a period of quiet contentment for the first time since my children were small. I've been told that I lived in my own world then. Perhaps I did but it was a good wee world.

I recognise that I'm very fortunate in having people in my life who love me.

That'll do.

Do you enjoy being sarcastic jingl? Or were you being genuine?

I'm sorry.

This one's genuine - X

Dragonfly

Katy

I was 22 years old and living in Geneva for 18 months. Although I'd lived in Canada and the Far East I'd never been to Europe so it was all very new. This was 1967 and 'Swinging London' was happening but for me Geneva was the place.I met people from all over Europe and beyond as the U.N. is based there. Geneva has several borders so we frequently popped over to France for the evening as food there was cheaper [one always carried ones passport for this reason]. It was about 6 hours from places like Nice and St.Tropeze , Milan was a bit more but fine for a long weekend. My parents ate strictly English food, my mother's idea of exotic food was spag bol or kedgeree. In Geneva I was introduced to French cuisine and wines. I was earning good money, buying loads of French clothes, had handsome boyfriends with sports cars. It all seemed very sophisticated and so much fun. Whenever I hear the Beach Boys song 'Good Vibrations' I remember going along the highway to Lausanne with my boyfriend in his sports car, with the top down[ car's top not mine], this song had just come out and we loved it.
My mother became ill so I had to go back to the UK, such a shock as English boys seemed so crass and untidy.