Another one off the C*******s card list

Yes ann I feel like this too. I've lost many people over the years as most of us have - some young some not so young. A friend died last year at the age of 52, it was very sudden (and pretty horrible). The older DH and I get (we are in our 60s) the more apprehensive I get. I try to put it to the back of my mind and get on with living but as you say you do wonder when your time is coming.

My mum (a teacher) died in 1996 at the age of 88....I was sad that few of the many people she had known were there at her funeral, she had outlived so many....
Is it better to go before them?

DH lost his sole surviving aunt last year, she was one of his mum's 6 sisters they also had one brother. His dad was a Banardo's boy. As was said at the funeral 'its the end of an era'. All that generation on my side are gone too.
DH are now part of the families oldest generation. Does make me wonder

Yes, we have lost half a dozen good friends between 40 and 55 over the past 18 months (cancer and strokes), plus two much older family members, plus a couple of older village friends. I have black skirts and trousers in every fabric, thickness and length to cope with all weathers. It's rather depressing. What was really disconcerting was that all of our younger friends who died of strokes were extremely fit and active. So as I regard my rather plump physique and reach for a piece of cake, I do get far more worried than I used to. Not that it stops me.

Same here nina. All our previous generation long gone. DH's parents died within a year of each other in the 1970s, both in their 50s. My mum died in 1972 aged 58 when i was 23 and my youngest sister only 14. So we have made it longer than them at least. Hope we all have many more years!

Gosh jane so many

It does get to you, doesn't it?

I can remember feeling the same about 20 years ago when our friends started to get divorced.

My DS1 had a stroke aged 35, nearly eight years ago. He was fit, rode and walked everywhere, played football, drank little, didn't smoke. There's no telling, is there? Thankfully, he lived but is unable to use his left side and will never work again.

Frequently. All my old friends from my life in Torquay have died now, sadly.
Luckily I've made some new friends here, but nothing can replace my old friends. I keep wondering if I will see another spring.....

Yes, its the old friends you miss. As I lose friends I make new ones but being able to sit down with someone you have known since school days is somehow comforting.

Whenever I visit my brother we gossip long into the night about our childhood and the people we knew

Well your sometimes sad stories do put things in perspective for me.Of the three friends we have lost in the past months only one was younger than us and the one whose funeral was this morning was 83 but it is making me think .Kitty your son is so young to face up to that situation. On a practical note I have resolved to get the loft cleared.

The best thing you can do for your kids is not die too young nor live too long. You'll break their hearts either way.

When your time is up it's up. What's the point in worrying about it. Just enjoy what you have now.

Must amit that is my mantra Merlot , however, do think to myself sometimes when I plant bulbs, wonder if I will be alive to see these come up.
Wee bit morbid really, heyho

I have an Auntie and Uncle left, both 80 - they are the last from a vast range of older relatives, but we expect people to pass on as they age, what has saddened me most is the loss of friends too soon, and some unnecessarily, - mis diagnosed breast cancer aged 24, mis disagnosed cervical cancer, age 21..... reminds us to make the most fo every day as if it were our last

Yes, it is sad to think of the friends who are no longer around to share our lives, but we have led very happy full lives, and although we do miss the shared memories with friends, we do have those memories and are grateful. Fortunately when we moved we made new younger friends, but I still feel a sense of loneliness at times.

I am always amazed that we have quite a few friends who are in their 60s like us and have both sets of parents alive and well when both of ours have been dead for over 40 years. Lovely for them though.

One of the few bestest school friends I kept in touch with is fighting cancer at the moment. We only keep in touch via the internet these days but oh! The sense of relief when she pops a message on Facebook or updates her blog.

for everyone who feels low right now.

So far I've only had one friend die - a non smoker struck down with very aggressive lung cancer in her early 60's. But I am noticing that people are beginning to get various ailments. My husband has cancer, my best friend's husband has Huntingdon's, another friend's husband has Meniere's Syndrome and she has a weird neural problem that has given her a sort of tunnel vision. My high cholesterol and BP seem mild in comparison and certainly easily manageable. So far none of us are in a hurry to go, but it does make you think.

I am now 70 and have accepted that I am now on the downward slope that eventually leads to death. Most of my immediate family have had long lives (85+) with no mental impairment and few physical difficulties, so I feel hopeful that the slope will be long and acceptable.

I have found that I have reached this stage gradually. Under 50 or even 60, death among my contemporaries was accepted as one of those damn things that happened; several friends and acquaintances died while I was at university, car accidents, leukaemia and suicide. My sister died in a car accident in her mid-40s, another acquaintance was drowned on the Herald of Free Enterprise. Another very close friend died of cancer aged 51, again, all accepted as the low level loss that accompanies life

My dearest friend died at 64 when I was 65. It was lung cancer, she had become a non-smoker, but too late; but I faced up the fact that, whether smoking related or not, it was the first to signal the first dip in the slope.

Then in early March, DH's 'brother' died. Not a blood relationship, but two boys, both only children, whose friendship almost preceded birth as their mothers were friends. Both families have always spoken of each other as 'family' and are linked by God Parent ties. Our DF had had a few grumbling health problems that required medication but had no real affect on his activities for some years but his cancer and the unexpectedly short survival time after diagnosis was a shock. As he was 70, like us, DH, DF and I were all born within a month of each other, It was a deep and profound shock, that we still are coming tot terms with.

But one thing it did confirm, all deaths among our contemporaries now are normal attrition not exceptional. That's life and it ends in death.

We all have to go. It's those who go 'before their time' that sadden me.

I read the obituaries in the Daily Telegraph, my husband collects those of the Air Force and Flying ones and Victoria Cross receivers and often now these are guys in their 90's but there are so many young people Peaches Geldof springs to mind she's gone so young and her two kiddies left behind . I often read the obits and say to myself outlived you but I'll never be able to read my own obit will I?

My Half brothers and sisters all lived into their 90's and my mothers sister went at 94, the church was nearly empty as she had just about outlived most of her relations and friends .

I don't know if I want to live till my 90's. know the choice isn't mine , my husband comes from a long living family as well , we are expecting our son to reach 120 and set a new world record !!!!

bim I also read the obituaries, usually in the local paper and think like you, I have outlived you.

Thought I was the only one , Laugh !

My mother in law told me on Monday when I visited her in her carehome that she realised how lucky she was as she had not met anyone else in the home as old as she is. It's in the village where she was born, so lots of memories for her. It's the village where my husband and his two brothers were born, although my husband died two years ago.
Her brother in law is 89, and I have two uncles and an aunt in their 80s, although I never see them, just talk and write to them.
My grandson asked about why he had blue eyes and I have brown, so we are going to look at genetics next week, after we have been to visit his great grandmother and find out what she remembers about her parents and aunts and uncles in the first world war.

On reading this thread; I sometimes dwell on my own mortality, but at the moment, I am so excited and pleased, I have to tell everyone.
My dear friend who is 88 yrs old had a fall 5 weeks ago and has been In hospital ever since. I have been visiting over that time, and for a couple of weeks, we all thought that, from the state of her, that she would die soon.However, I saw her yesterday, and it seemed nothing short of a miracle!Sittingup in bed, eyes bright and sparkling even! Raring to go, as she always was...is; and it was so wonderful, brought tears to my eyes.
I commended the nurses on their care and could see they were just as pleased as me. So happy!

Brilliant news for your friend. My mentor, long since gone, taught me I must live each day as if I am never going to die. "Age is just a number my dear". Went on to over 90years. My niece, 50 today, is mortified at being 'so old'. My OH, 80 today, is unaware he cant do all the jobs in the garden, the house maintenance, as well as being my carer. Long live you all. We are soo lucky. Off to ice the cake!