where have they gone?

Ariadne I agree with you completely!

Plus, regarding 'nice' - I remember at school (sometimes my memory still functions!!) being told not to use the word nice, but to find alternatives. Sometimes it's harder than you think!

GN is certainly "nice" these days; however, I used to ask my students to avoid using "nice" because it was over used and had connotations of blandness. I agree with myself! There is a tendency towards blandness at the moment, which is why GN seems "nice".

I do love GN, but when even a serious discussion is peppered with irrelevant and inane comments, it does annoy me.

I do think there is some robust debate, but agree that some people, when they find find their own opinions challenged, tend to take it personally, which is where the rancour over, say, The DM, occurs. Then the debate loses its focus and descends into personal in fighting, people become upset, and perhaps withdraw or leave.

quynh1990

quynh , I think you may mean poster !
Anyway , I hope you make plenty friends , I am sure you will !
Tell us a little of yourself ?

????

I'm a new administrator, I hope make many friends!

Totally off beam, but when I read the title I thought it was asking where
all the forums have gone. I have lost most of them, only about half a dozen showing up and wondered if anyone else is having this problem? I had problems last evening getting on to the site as well.

I joined not very long ago and get pulled up short if someone gives a sharp answer I must admit. However, if we all agreed on everything it would be a very dull world. The sort of people who may be patronising or nasty would be the sort of people I would avoid in real life, so have learnt to retreat if it happens on here (mainly, but not always if I do feel strongly about a subject!)

I am in total agreement with 3rd para of pogs 23.51, my feelings to a T.

I think G/N is a much calmer place to be now , I am VERY glad to say.
and has been for several months , is more enjoyable .
I think that a little peppery banter is refreshing , however it got that anyone said the slightest thing that people didn't agree with , it was taken as an imagined slight and they would get defensive and unpleasant.
Live and let live is my motto , wey hey!!

I too only post occasionally, sometimes it is to lend support, sometimes to share information and sometimes to join in with my opinion. ( gently, I hope ) i do enjoy the variety of comments made by others, especially since retirement. I now tend to mix with like minded people and miss the variety that work colleagues brought to my life! Even though some were infuriating!
I did venture on to MN, but they were too strong in their 'put downs' for me! I think as life rolls on we can see the value in not getting too wound up by others! X

If nothing else, the DM opens up discussions! The best part is reading the comments at the end of the articles!

I'm still a bit of a New Girl to GN and I have to admit to being very wary of posting anything even slightly contentious or resembling an opinion because of some of the comments that some posters have left for others. Disagreeing with an opinion is fine, that's what it's all about, but some posters seem to make it very personal and unpleasant - & intimidating.

That said, the majority come across as lovely, caring and very wise & I'm glad I joined GN

So, to sum up , many reasons why original posters don't make themselves known/have changed names [I didn't think of that] or no longer contribute.
I think that I only found this site last Autumn, but do agree with POGS that it seems a bit nicer now than then.There is no point posting to just 'join in' with everyone elses thinking, if your own opinion differs, why not air your opinion in a non rude way?That's what stimulates debate isn't it?it would be very boring to read that we all think the same [which is impossible anyway.]It's a shame if people who previously enjoyed the site felt they had to leave though.There are so very many names I don't recognise looking through the last threads from 2 years ago.Don't flee to the safety of home and food items, come back to general chat and debate,we will be waiting , if not with open arms, then at least without a concealed dagger.I hope!!!!

And when I do It comes out wrong!!

Sorry Tegan wasn't ignoring your post.. I don't type very quicly

Perhaps the people who take the criticism personally are those who DO share it's political 'take' on things. I never read it unless someone posts a link, but I can see that some people may get a bit annoyed when it is assumed that nobody on GN could possibly agree the views expressed in the DM!

Why should we want Gransnet to be an aggressive place? Isn't being grown up about being pleasant to people and thinking before we say things, even on a forum?

I think most of us enjoy the Daily Mail although many of don't agree with its political take on matters, including me. It can't be denied that it's a very popular website and a good read at times.

It's certainly read by the majority of members whether we like it or not!

What I do find surprising is when some members seem to take it personally if the DM is criticized, as though it were a criticism of their own outlook/politics.

HQ have made sure GN is a welcoming, non-aggresive, squeaky clean place. Human nature being what it is, it now has become flat and, sometimes, boring.

We never really leave the playground, "fight fight fight" thing behind. If we try to, we become 'grown-up'. And who really wants that - all the time?

Some people just cannot leave things be. Having had my head bitten off I said ages ago I was retiring to soop's kitchen and there was even a nasty comment made about that. Totally unnecessary. There are some very pleasant people who contribute regularly but unfortunately there are others who are just a bit too strident for my liking.

I quite enjoy the Daily Mail Petra (I can almost hear the sighs of "we might have known"). I don't take it too seriously but find that there can be some interesting articles.

The Daily Mail being a good example. Its almost treated like the devils spawn by some posters.

I know one member who does not post any more after being the subject of several "robust" comments when she tried to defend herself after saying she agreed with an article she had read in the Daily Mail. She was also sent some unpleasant pms by someone who is no longer on GN (or who no longer posts).

Phoenix

It's a gut feeling.

I think there were a few threads that discussed the 'clique' or bullying feeling some GN's felt was taking place. I don't think I have seen one post mentioning those traits for a while now, I don't see it any more.

All I can say is what I feel and I genuinely think there has been more opportunity to debate or comment without a backlash from anyone.

You said yourself you don't post on threads you feel might be deemed contentious. That's because it was the case it did get nasty at times but I like to think there is a more tollerent attitude and an acceptance that we can agree to disagree but not feel intimidated to speak our minds.

Ok! Whose up for a good, reasoned debate?
And on what?
Tomorrow please?

I'm to bed!