Have you been insulted this week?

I must admit I much prefer the boost of self esteem to the opposite Absent there is something quite damaging about constantly being told you are stupid, not pretty etc. I always tell my DGC how clever and pretty they are, but there again I am only telling the truth

Thanks Nonu. No, I didn't, because it was said by someone I love very much and I wouldn't want to hurt him. But I do feel cross!

I don't think we are sisters kittylester . My mum reserves all her praise, pity and compliments for my sister.

i am not bitter ( if I say it often enough I might start to believe it)

You should try Tesco for passport photos, Apricot.
The machines don't answer back with dumb insolence

My mother once told me I was far too fat and it was not attractive. Then she said, "Poor J (my sister) keeps putting on weight, I feel so sorry for her"
This week's insult when I had passport photographs taken and I said, "Please make me look 30 and glamourous" The photographer looked at me in silence.

Henetha what a horrid thing to say to you !
Hope you gave it back in FULL measure !
hmm

Don't feel sorry for me, Lona, my parents were wonderful. It's just that my mother was like a skinny bean until she was much older, whereas I was more gently rounded! She probably wondered where I came from! (Shaped like my dad's sister actually) And my two DDs are both very slender.

I think there used to be an attitude among parents that it was important not to let your child become vain – a kind of opposite to today's obsession with constantly boosting self-esteem. They are probably equally damaging ideas. My mother told me that one of her mother's frequent refrains was "You must have been hiding behind the door when God gave out the good looks".

It, not I (there, I AM a moron!)

I was 19 the first time I ever went into a pub and half a pint of shandy.
When I got home and my mother smelt it on my breath she said I looked 'bloated with drink'. I made me both laugh and cry.
Just recently someone very close to me called me a moron.... that hurt.
But, just possibly, I suspect he might be right.

Not this week so far, but my SIL once asked me why it was that the men in my family were so good-looking and all the girls were so plain! (meaning me and her own daughter).

My mum used to ask me why I wasn't 'nice and slim like my cousin'. Could it have been her cooking?

Gillybob are we sisters.

My mum hasn't insulted me this week because I haven't been to see her!

Actually, since she got dementia she is generally nice to me

One of my Great Aunts once said to me 'Oh, you look just like your mother did at the same age - well not as pretty, obviously!!' I think it was the 'obviously' that really hurt!

Nonnie I hope you were not offended by my asking. Luckily it's not something I have ever had to consider. You are just as worthy as anyone else and maybe entitled to know what her problem is with you. But I can see how difficult it may be.

Not so far........But a visit to my dragon of a mil is looming this evening so it highly likely.

ginny can you imagine how hard it is to raise the subject when your mother prefers another sibling to you? When you have lived all your life believing you are the least worthy of love you are certainly not going to have a conversation about it with the person who doesn't love you as much as your sibling.

It has never occurred to me to ask them why ginny . My grandma is very old and tends to speak her mind these days no matter what which can be quite funny or hurtful depending on how you take it. My mum has never complimented me (she saves all the compliments for my sister) so what you have never known you never miss.

Re. my post on page 1 It should of course read 'why they are so rude to you'.

Lona I agree some of these post make me feel very sad too. I wonder if the ones who are so rude have been treated that way themselves ( not that it is any excuse ) or if they are just plain nasty.

I'm fairly sure I wouldn't put up with it without saying something unless of course they were suffering from some illness and didn't realise what they were saying.

This reminds me of my spinster great-aunt. We went to visit when I was young and I didn't see her again until I was about twenty. When she saw me she said ' Oh, you've improved! You were a very plain child!'

My mother told me I looked 'grotesque'....when she offered me a small portion of food one day when we were visiting many years ago . I don't think she'd actually meant 'grotesque' as such, but mum was never all that good with words, and I know I'd put a bit of weight on since she'd last seen me....

This is such a sad thread. I had wonderful parents and I feel very lucky.

My Mother would say even when I was dressed up for an award ceremony or big function always was, 'I dont know why you bother, no one is going to look at you anyway', even if I was getting an award.

Not insulted this week but a friend asks every birthday "how old" ? when I say the age she will reply "you don't look it but I expect you did once"

Made me laugh gillybob.....dont get too many insults luckily, but my Grandad was the master of the unintentional insult as in ( to my cousin) ' You dont look anything like your mother........she is such a pretty girl'

To those of you who are often insulted by your relatives, have you ever asked them why you are so rude to you? What was their reaction if you have ? If you haven't asked them , I wonder why.

gilly - your last post made me laugh. I'm sure you look lovely. Be grateful for your hair - mine has long gone. I too am not (very) bitter!