The things they say.

DS1 always enjoyed the "harvest vegetable" service at school, and told me that after they had done it for the mummies and daddies, they were going to do it again for the "crumple faced ladies and gentlemen"

After telling my GS the story of how we caught the haggis we had for tea, he wanted to know if we needed a licence or if we were poaching

A friend's Autistic son suddenly informed her that he was going to die in 2016. Needless to say she was rather shaken by this until he showed her his Library Card -Expires in 2016! She couldn't help but smile in relief! Just shows how literally the Autistic mind works.

One of my nephews came in from the garden when very small to inform his Mum that he had just seen a bee. Not wanting him to be scared of bees she asked "What was it doing?"

"Just bee-ing," came the reply. We never knew whether he meant just existing or just being a bee but I thought it was very John Lennon-esque and strangely (or not) he grew up to be a massive John Lennon fan even adding Winston to his name. He writes music for television and films nowadays and even had a group called, guess what, "Bug" at one time.

phoenix my little grandson took his contribution to the harvest 'festerbule' last year.

DS1, aged 4, in the presence of a policeman: a few grunts followed by the loud statement "There's a pig in here!"

He was playing with farmyard animals at the time (DS that is, not the PC!), and I had heard him making quiet animal noises moments earlier but I don't think the PC had noticed that. Unfortunately, he certainly heard those immortal words.

In an attempt to convince you that his words were totally innocent, I would like to point out that said son is himself a police officer now!

MamaCaz I'm interested,did you think least said soonest mended or explain about the farmyard animals & risk him wondering why you needed to explain?

Posie: Least said soonest mended would have been the best approach, but to break the total silence (shock and disbelief) that followed the words, DH said something along the lines of, "I promise you, he hasn't got that from us!". I don't think the PC was convinced, but no more was said about it! Even though I knew what had led up to DS's words, I was far too shy back then to try and explain to a policeman.

(Just in case anyone is wondering why the policeman was there, I should explain that my OH had been attacked on the towpath outside our boat the evening before, and the PC was there to get some details.)

The same DS, age 3, also said loudly: "Look Mummy, a clown" - pointing excitedly to a punk less than 2 ft away. Actually, I could see what he meant !

In the hot summer of 1976, DS1 had mumps and, while running around barefoot in the garden, he got stung by a bee. DS2, aged 3, came running into the house:'I won't get mumps, 'cos I haven't been stung by a bee, Mummy.' He did.

I ran a pre school where we had a wormery for the worms - so naturally when we made a bug house in the logs, one child called it a buggery...

My DS2 was very upset when we didn't understand what the small cake was that he wanted - turned out to be shortbread.
Ambulances are always andublunces and the police caught some smug drugglers around the same time.

My sister, always nothing if not logical, insisted that the shreds in marmalade were 'marmles' and I have always thought of them as such.

When DD1 told me she had removed a big Wack from her ear, I told her that it was called WAX. 'No' said she, ' there was only one......'

One Christmas DH and I had Bucks Fizz. A few days later, at my parent's for lunch, DD2 aged three when asked what she wanted to drink, asked for a Fuck's Bizz please everyone at the table had quite a job trying not to laugh!

DD1 couldn't say marmalade and called it mambly. We still call it this.

My toddler nephew used to call a helicopter an "Eliop pop pop". I still say it even though he is now a 43 year old police officer.

When my sister wanted to embarrass my brother (they are both now in their 60s) she would trot out all the words he used for different things as a toddler.
He had trouble with w, so window was 'mindow', a jigsaw was 'shish-shaw'. Ducks were 'quacklings' for years in the family.

A dessert of pureed fruit - usually rhubarb - that my mother made was known to us as 'Clopper', as that was the noise the wooden spoon made in the bowl as she beat the fruit pulp to smoothness. My brother gave it that name.

We had a wonderful Old English Sheepdog called Holly when my now adult children were small; my grandchildren know OE Sheepdogs as 'Hollydogs' as her memory has been kept alive. :0)

Absentdaughter when remarked on one occasion, "Mummy doesn't like that. She's sighing with her eyes." Much more poetic than rolling them in my opinion.

My gs called planes or helicopters 'up there' as we pointed to the sky saying 'look, up there'. He's now 3 and would probably tell you what kind of plane it is! DD1 reversed words for a long time - I was quite worried: sow for house, saw for horse etc.... It's ok now, she managed to get a 2:1 despite everything

absent. Love that - as you say, poetic. I used to do a lot of sighing too.

When shopping DS1 would ask "Do we have to go to Marks and Spensive?"

Then there are the things that grown-up children say that will never be forgotten, like :

Mum, I've just crashed my car into the side of Dad's motorhome!

Flutterbyes for butterflies and daffobells for daffodils

Hodgeheg!

GD1 looking out of the window on a snowy morning "look pussy pootfrints"

How about, "I'm going to be a barrellina when I grow up!"