Well thank you all for your kind words and to PS. I am taking your advice he is only allowed to take clothes and toiletries no more assets. He has emailed me today to ask if I will again make him an offer of the financial settlement I really want, for him to re consider because he says once that is done everyone(don't know who everyone is) can move on.
I'm afraid without thinking I said I wanted my life back, I didn't want to be pushed into this new life, I wanted to be loved and secure again, I wanted my retirement years to be peaceful and safe. What price would he put on my life, make me an offer, my solicitor email address then followed.
Heard nothing back of course, and I hope I don't I am seeing my solicitor in early Jan. and will talk to her about taking my time, I feel I am being rushed into things divorce and house sale have to go together, and I think I would like a bit of breathing space where I can think things through properly I am just running on empty dealing with things as they arrive.
The latest required an electrician and I asked my DH if he would pay for half. DH responded with he would pay half of the bill for ME but I would have to wait for the money as he was a bit short!! told him electrician didn't do credit I would have to sacrifice some of my jewellery to pay for it, and add the bill to the divorce pot. He was not paying for ME there was no ME it was for the home which he has a share in and in his interest to make sure it is kept safe and secure.
Didn't have a good day anyway, went to town and everyone seemed to have someone it just rubbed I expect so I had a little tear in the car, then the first email I get is DH this can all be left now until he come back to U.K. My lovely DS DIL and DGD are coming to stay on 27th just for a couple of days but I am so looking forward to that, we are going to have Christmas again, and a toast to his continuing good health.
I am trying for an early night tonight nearly midnight again. My wrinkles under my eyes are getting bigger, I am hoping once I get some decent sleep they will get smaller. I have lost 2 stones 3 ibs since fist week of November and lost 2 dress sizes just 2 more dress sizes to go, I'm hoping that will happen by DH's return, the new hairstyle and some really smart clothes, o.k. so I'm waiting for a new knee, but my walking stick is classy. Want DS to see what he has thrown away.
Off to bed now. Once again you have come to my rescue.

and Hugs to you all.