1st Anniversary of going it alone!

Glad you've found the right balance. Did you find that downsizing gave you far more time to do things that you want to do? I find that, even now I've retired, maintaining my house still takes up a lot of time and money [although I can't face moving house, the one I'm in being almost perfect for me in most ways; sometimes wish it wasn't].

gratefulgran, I have had all the roles you mention. Just before retirement I decided to end my unhappy marriage and moved to a small terraced house. I have fo say that I enjoy living on my own. There are times when the aloneness hits me , but I wouldn't want to share my home again. I can do what I want when I want and don't have to explain my actions to anyone! Also when I put something away it stays there!

Yes Tegan definitely. I'm a busy little bod, with 1 full-time, and 2 part-time jobs, and not much of a domestic goddess, but when you can hoover, dust and mop the whole place in under an hour it's great!
I do miss having people around sometimes, and have been known to have long protracted conversations with the cats (or myself if they're out) but then I've always been a bit odd like that lol.
Always remember a little lad saying to me at work (I'm an SEN TA) that I talked funny sometimes, but he liked it. That'll do me
I did think that I was being a bit daft at the time, especially as I moved away too...not far, admittedly, but not as accessible without a car....but it has worked beautifully.
The hardest thing was the clearing out of stuff. I admit to standing at the tip, crying as I threw away all the paintings/pictures/school books/models that I had kept from my 3 sons childhoods. But I had to be ruthless, and they did go through it all first, in case there was anything they wanted to keep for themselves. And I do still have a few bits, the really special ones.
But I also found it very therapeutic to go through everything, and be sensible about what I really needed in my life.
The GC think it's amazing here as I'm now quite rural, and they love plodging through the fields and woods round about. They did find it confusing at first, couldn't 'find' my stairs, or my back door, and why was someone living upstairs, but they all enjoy coming now, especially if we're having a sleepover, as they don't have to climb the stairs to bed when their legs are 'so tired', they just go in the room next-door to the lounge

Hear what you're saying shysal , although my marriage ended many moons ago (1990), so most of those roles had been taken on alone. My boys were 5, 7 and 9 when he left, they've had little contact since (his choice) although we all still live within 10 miles of each other, and he's not met our GC, but that's his problem, not mine. No financial support either!
I didn't foster until my DSs were 8, 10 and 12. Had 2 little brothers for 2 years, and another lad on respite every weekend...6 boys under my roof, all under 12, such larks!
Did child-minding when fostering rules changed and they could no longer share a room, so I was no longer able to do it (damn shame).
Having had such a busy house for so long, I think that was my worst fear..the quiet, lack of company etc. but must say I love it! I've never been a social butterfly, and don't mind my own company, so that's probably made it easier. And quite often,with the jobs being quite full-on (all child-based, and 2 of them special needs children to boot) it is divine to be able to come home, shut the door and enjoy the silence...apart from 4 hungry felines demanding dinner!

Congratulations GG54 - your cheerful approach shines through in your posts, you don't let things beyond your control get you down e.g. your ex not seeing the GC - you are an inspiration. Have a wonderful day and celebrate with your feline family.

Ooh, you're making me blush Grannyknot. Can only do what I can do...sometimes I get it right, sometimes I get it wrong....but don't see the point on dwelling on the bad bits. Life has been harsh at times, but I developed a tough exterior when 'he' went off, so I just soldier on, make the best of a bad job, and laugh at me the loudest. Seems to work

Well done gratefulgran . I wish I had your energy!

I have been on my own for just over 2 years now - in my case my DH died after 43 really happy years. Before he died and whilst he still felt strong enough he took everything out of the roof space and put it in the two rooms at the top of the house as he thought it would be easier for me to deal with.

Today I finally decided to go through it and sort it out - what a job! It looks worse now than when I started and that is after filling 3 bin bags with rubbish and 2 boxes for the charity shop! Like you say it is a question of being ruthless, he was something of a pack rat and when I look at the things he kept "just in case" it makes me smile and weep at the same time. What do you do with 5 old cameras!!

It's hard isn't it sunseeker? And yet most of the stuff I had to cull, had been sitting in my loft for up to 15 years, untouched, and there I was getting sentimental and blubbery about stuff I'd forgotten I even had .
My DSs were wonderful and came round en masse to empty loft and 2 sheds into the house and garden, then helped me with the bigger stuff.
We had 6 TVs, including a little old B&W portable that me and the ex had bought when we got engaged..what on earth did I still have that for? Numerous computer bits, tons of empty boxes (middle DS liked to keep packaging for everything he bought), loads of car bits (youngest DS a mechanic)...ridiculous!
That stuff was easy to get rid of, it was the more personal stuff...the DSs childhood as I mentioned before, all the sympathy cards/letters to my Dad when Mum died, and all the ones to me and my brother when Dad died 3 months later, loads of unfinished paintings by Mum (she was preparing for an exhibition when she died), my foster lads favourite shoes, and his brothers school uniform (started school when with us), bits and pieces from when we cleared out Mum and Dads place after their deaths...it was never-ending.
Took me a month of sheer emotion and cold-heartedness to pare it down , but I still have a few boxes, 1 year on, of things that I really can't let go of yet.
It will happen, just not yet, I'm not ready

As for the cameras, try e-bay under collectables..you'd be surprised how many people would be interested!

sunseeker gg54 is quite right about the cameras. When my DH's father died he sold some of his cameras on e-bay and we were very pleasantly surprised at the prices they achieved. Try and watch a few, either the same or similar cameras, to know where to pitch your starting prices. Good luck.

P.s. We have tried to make a start on the attic (no intention of moving yet) but can't get over the amount of c**p we've accumulated over 30 years in this house. Problem is we have a cellar as well!!

Just the attic Frannygranny? On our daily walk today I broached the subject - again - of the clearing of our spare rooms. We have a four bedroomed house, one double room has my late MIL's boxes of goodness knows what in there plus the contents of my DDH's office (he was a Countryside Officer) a lot of the records etc he made are now in my spare room - at least 35 years of copies of them. Also, literally, 45 years of colour negative slides, which are labelled and boxed as wildlife talks.(He still gives these talks and regularly) Books, magazines we can hardly see the carpet.

The 'box' room is a 'box' room, should be a single bedroom but so much c..p in it we can hardly open the door.When the community nurse came to remove my 'stitches' after kidney op she went to wash her hands and I heard her say 'Oops its a cupboard' I thought 'Oops it's not - it's a bedroom'

I have suggested that we turn the double room into a reading room where his thousands, yes thousands of books can go with a comfy small sofa or chair and a reading lamp. He warmed to the idea but goodness knows when this will happen. There is no room in the loft or the place we jokingly call the Garage.

He's now talking about a bookcase in our bedroom Not covering my Laura Ashley (bought in the sale) wallpaper you don't

My father put a massive chest of drawers in parents bedroom, filled with tools. I had a radiogram which he was repairing (for most of my teenage years) in my bedroom. I blame the war years when nothing was thrown out even if it had no possible use it was kept.pieces of string too short to use syndrome.

Saving bits of string...... Im dreading the day when I have to clear out my old dads "workshop" there are rows and rows of long shelves filled with neat rows of old national dried milk tins carefullly labelled with contents eg 1/2 " screws, 3/4" nails, short bits of string, longer bits of string etc, you get the idea. There must be a hundred such tins at least.
When I moved 8 years ago to a smaller house I told myself that I would not fill the attic up with junk. if I wasnt using it , it had to leave the house not go in the attic, with the exception of the Christmas stuff. So I only have the Christmas stuff, suitcases and some favourite children's toys which arent being used by the grandchildren yet.