Good morning sunday

I cannot thank you all enough for all the kind words and the sharing also of similar experiences, so many years ago. You are a lovely lot, you helped me through a lonely old day.

40 years ago late miscarriages, who would be prem babies now with every chance of life, died through lack of knowledge and incubators. They weren't buried, just whisked away and nothing more said. There are a lot of women of our generation still silently mourning the loss of a child.
to all out there who wonder what would have been.
Thank goodness things have changed for the present generation.

So sad Thistledoo but glad that you are able to share it. Sending hugs from me too.

Cousins not nieces, btw

A big hug for you Thistledoo he lives on in your heart I am glad you shared your feelings with us

Hugs to all in Thistledoos situation. Thank goodness medics are generally more enlightened about helping families deal with neonatal death now.

thistledoo no need to feel guilty here. You came to the right place.
My DH was an undiagnosed twin and the other one died. He grew up with 3 sisters and still has feelings of sadness when he remembers the brother he never knew. And I know his mum does too. Sad that they never had a grave to visit - the nuns whisked the baby away and told her to be happy because she had a healthy son. 50 years ago stillborn babies used to be buried in the coffins of adults.

Thistledoo. So sad.

thistledoo and tears for what my mind revolts at imagining!

My aunt's first baby was stillborn. When I had my first and my nieces (10 and 12) were doing the cuddles, one of them asked "Why don't you have another baby, mummy?" My aunt replied "We want a little boy, don't we daddy?"

So sad.

Once again thank you all for your kind words. I don't feel guilty anymore and yes GN at its best. Spent the day quietly remembering my pregnancy and all the preparation for the new arrival, explaining to my toddler son about being a big brother and how exciting it will be. Trying to explain to him that his little brother would not be coming home was the worst thing. To Gracemum and Adriandne we are kindred spirits. To all mums out there who have lost a baby
Spent an hour this afternoon walking my beautiful new kitten in the garden on his harness, he had fun catching flies and chasing leaves.

Thistledoo and GM GN at its best here.

I get sad, without even thinking about it, at the end of October when our fourth child should have been born. It's instinct isn't it, not a conscious decision.

for you Thistledoo, don't feel bad about sharing you feelings with us. I think we need to be able to talk about these things. As someone said - thank goodness stillborn babies are dealt with much more compassion these days.

Tegan - like you, there are so many things that I wish I had asked my parents about while I had the chance

Thistledoo and gracesmum - I know. My middle son (now 43) is a surviving identical twin, so I know what his brother would have looked like. I often count him in when talking about the number of children I have borne, and he is always in my mind on their birthday.

to you and to you, gracesmum.

Thistledoo, I would have been surprised if you didn't think of what might have been! What a terrible time it must have been for you.

Big hug Thistledoo on a sad anniversary. Of course you will wonder what mght have been, I used to look at children of the age our little boy would have been and try to imagine him. He would have been 40 next month, but lived for only 24 days. The memories of the good times - pregnancy and the 8 days I had him before his heart defects became apparent I will always treasure.
to you

Hello Hebrideanlady, you too have made me feel less isolated, what part of the Hebrides are you? I am in Inverness, maybe we could have a meetup. PM me if you like.

Thistledoo, you have made me feel better today, I thought I was the only one up this way. I now don't feel so isolated

Thank you all for your kind messages, I felt so guilty sharing this with you all today and beat myself up for putting it out on this forum. I hoped not to depress anyone. Thank you dear folk for your kind thoughts.

Thisldoo, what a sad day for you. You are right to cherish the memory of your son.

The days when we have our children are etched in our memories forever. Thank goodness things have changed now and loss is dealt with more sensitively. My mum lost many babies before I was born and I often wonder what my brothers or sisters would have been like had they lived but, above all I wish I'd understood at the time what she'd been through and spoken to her about it. I'm sorry for your loss, Thistedoo .

Thistledoo of course you are right to remember and mourn what could have been, having lost your baby. I hope the day passes peacefully for you

Thistledoo How sad, but don't feel guilty, you are his mum and entitled to think about him as often as you wish.

Galen Enjoy your cruise, and complain about that horrible porter!

Mick Good luck tomorrow and I'm sure you will be much less stressed in a few days

Happy Sunday all!

Good morning from The Hebrides, Thistledoo, I to would remember such a day. You are bound to think, What if things had of been different. I try to put myself in your situation, today I would be doing the same as you.

Thistledoo be kind to yourself today.

Started bright and sunny here in the north east but it is clouding over now.
We have the day to ourselves because DS rang to say that GD1 had yet another tummy bug and probably better not to put ourselves in the firing line.