There was a young lady from . . .

Ariadne - or 3p used + postage on Amazon.

Anno cheats look on Google.

I never thought I would say this, but I think I am just too pure and innocent to join in this thread - besides I'm not very good at finding rhymes.

Ariadne I googled Fazackerley and this came up www.liverpool-limericks.co.uk/3.html

Point Theseus to it - it is a book of Limericks and Fazackerley is mentioned in one of them. Only £4.99 + pp. so could be a good investment.

A cold one, Grumpa?

There was a young lady from Wien,
Who permitted her xxxx to be seen.
When arrested and tried
She hotly denied
That what had been seen was obscene.

I must go and have a shower.

And many years ago The Times ran a limerick competition to promote a sort of marginally up market Blue Nun type German plonk called Deinhard Green Label. I didn't bother to enter, but

The Rouge Croix Pursuivant at Arms,
Though rampant was subject to qualms.
Some Deinhard Green Label
Soon stiffened his cable:
Mabel couchant succumbed to his charms.

Maybe someone could compose a new ending if we can't trace the original?

Oh, I forgot about bogs. There aren't many in the Smoke.

Suitably unprintable, Grumpa

And a new one!

Theseus wants to know if anyone knows the rest of this one, please:

A young ladies' choir from Fazakerley
Which numbered 600 exacerly.....

He can't remember the rest, and it's driving him mad!

Sorry, I only noticed the Buckingham one.

How about

There was an old codger called Hunt,
Who was out with a girl in a punt.
When she sat on his todger
He didn't dislodge her,
But shot all his xxxxx up her xxxx.

People can come and dig on my brae anytime. More the merrier. Rhododendron bashers even more welcome!

The Birmingham one, not the Soissons. You are busy this morning.

Nice try, Grumpa, but that one appeared earlier (as the actress said to the bishop)

There was an old fellow of Soissons,
Addicted to fish and to croissants.
When someone said "Tosh,
What's wrong with brioches?"
He said "croissants are better with poisons".

How about substituting "bogland" at end of second line? Sorry - I could see the first line when in "last hour" mode, and bogland was what I expected to see. Nice limerick - we know who it is about but it is not a dig.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

There once was a lady from Scotland
Who wandered on brae and on wasteland.
When they asked her for why
She replied 'Well I try
To solve an impossible operand'.

When I started this thread I hoped that it would NOT succumb to confrontational threads from ANY posters. Please keep the fights out of it.

I can't get my brain in gear for these limericks at the moment. Once I do I can run them off quite easily. I am only on my second cup of tea at the moment I might wake up later.
They are very funny though.

Greatnan, that is unkind.

There was an old lady of Boreham
Who tried to make friends on a forum
She made a few pals
Amongst the old gals
But never enough for a quorum.

From the depths of the crypt at St Giles
Came a sound that resounded for miles
Said the brother 'Good gracious'
'Has Father Ignatius'
'Forgotten the Bishop has piles?'

"My dear Mrs. Ormsby-Gore,
I can't carry on any more.
I'm covered in sweat,
You haven't come yet,
Look at the time - half-past four!"

There once was a lady named Linda,
Who sat all the day by the winda.
Her thoughts set astray
By a nice Cabernet,
While her dinna turned into a cinda.

OK, lets raise the tone with a bit of culture!

Said the Duchess of Alba to Goya
"Remember I am your employer"
So he painted her twice
In a dress which looked nice
And once in the nude to annoyer!