Unintended insults

Not necessarily insults but I have an alarming capacity for putting my foot in it. I was having a very heated debate with a friend in a wheelchair who had been paralysed as a result of a car accident when I triumphantly pointed out the weakness in his argument and added, "You haven't got a leg to stand on".

I was chatting to my friend about another woman. I said "she's our age, and still has long hair". Then I could have bitten my tongue as my friend had long hair too, and I'd stopped noticing!

I was at a conference and there was a blind man there at the same time.
He spoke to me and said, "do you know where I can find Mrs xxxxx?"
I said, "I'm sorry, I don't think I know her- what does she look like?"

The minute I said it I realised I had dropped a huge clanger!
I am still embarrassed when I think of it.!

I don't think that's an insult of any kind. It's just a natural slip-up anyone could make who isn't used to being with blind people. All it needs is an "Oh, sorry, I forgot you're blind" or even: "Oh, sorry, daft question."

I was once in a meeting and described a particular challenge I'd faced by saying that I felt as if I'd had 'one arm tied behind my back'. I only just escaped being hauled before a disciplinary tribunal, but still had to attend a meeting with HR to explain myself! Seriously! I was told it was regarded as an 'affront' to people with only one arm to use that term. Fortunately I took a colleague with me whose dad actually does have only one arm and she told them they were nitpicking.

I joined my aunt to help her clear a house that had belonged to an uncle (her brother) One of my uncle's neighbours asked me how my mother and I were managing. She is only 5 years older than me.

grannyactivist I'm all for being sensitive to other people's feelings, but that seems to me to be bordering on Monty Python territory.

That's what I thought too Eloethan. I felt as if I'd fallen down the rabbit hole!

My sister is totally blind, but fully expects people to ignore this in their language. It is absolutely OK to use words like 'look' 'see' etc. And if asked what someone looks like, she would say something like 'I understand they are xyx' or would simply say 'no-one has told me'. There is no reason to change your decent normal rhetoric, in the company of people with a disability.

As for being taken to account, for the 'one arm behind my back' comment - the person whinging should be put in their place and told to back off. They were being utterly ridiculous.

When DID people start being so damn precious?

Before we were married, we were strolling around Trafalgar Square, when a drunk jumped on DH's back and thumped him lightly.

" You should be ashamed such an old man with such a young girl." I was 23 and Mr LD was 25! Nice one.