Private Messaging

Some of them, yes, petallus.

Getting nasty again. Completely unnecessary!

Absent knows who the popular and highly respected members are because she is their friend and confidante.

No bias there then

Movedalot Let us call the poster Doris and the recipient Gladys for argument's sake. Doris sends a pm to Gladys that is about you with the knowledge that Gladys will forward it to you. That would be a very devious way for Doris to incite trouble. It's just a scenario; I can't see any other way of inciting trouble. I don't know – I have never forwarded any pms to anyone.

Could you just avoid sneering at me once, please. Of course, I haven't decided that particular people are among the most popular and highly respected; it is obvious from the attitude of other Gransnetters towards them over a period of many months.

Now see what you've done!

Poor Geraldine.

I would love to know Absent how you decide who are the 'most popular and highly respected members'? Unless there has been a poll, which I must have missed, then it is surely only your opinion?

I am a little confused how someone telling me what is in a PM they have received can be described as 'devious' if you presumably think that those which have been disclosed to you by others are not. I would appreciate it if you would clarify. Maybe the drugs are stopping me understanding.

Is it not possible to 'incite' in a PM? I think it is.

Of course.

Ana If some Gransnetters sought reassurance and comfort from Movedalot because they had received insulting pms, then I am sure that she would have responded readily.

Pleeease!!

Oh! Can't we have a list somewhere?! Who sent what to who/whom (?)

Perhaps some Gransnetters consider Movedalot to be a friend and confidante as well.

petallus Some Gransnetters consider me a friend and a confidante.

absent how do you know about the private messages sent to these popular and highly respected members?

Nobody told me.

Movedalot If you say so. Presumably helpful Gransnetters have been passing these pms on to you. Inciting trouble seems a little OTT as it's difficult to see what sort of trouble anyone could incite – except, perhaps, helpful Gransnetters passing them on to you. That would be devious. Still, if you say so.

I think I should make it clear that I haven't been talking about any pms I have received. I am big enough and I'm sure most would agree quite nasty enough to take care of myself. I am talking about pms sent to other Grannetters, some of whom are among our most popular and highly respected members.

Surely we should be encouraging people who receive these nasty PMs to report them, and make sure GN actually does something about it. It would not be tolerated in other forums. It is a form of bullying, and should not be tolerated, full stop. As you sayMovedalot I would hope that they would feel bad about it on reading this thread, but sadly I have my doubts

I disagree Absent if someone sends PMs to other members inciting trouble and lying about another member behind their back it is despicable. At least if that person had done it to me directly I could have responded. Now I am left wondering what other mischief that person has got up to that I haven't heard about. I'm not as bothered as that sounds because I think most members would have more sense than to believe such rubbish.

I'm assuming you mean those PMs sent by a member who has recently left to several GN members, absent. I would have thought that was a one-off incident which is unlikely to happen again, although it must have been very unpleasant for the victims.

I thought this was a discussion about PMs in general.

Of course you haven't Kali and I made no such accusation. The only pm I have ever received from you (in a previous incarnation) was delightful.

Movedalot The nasty pms I am talking about don't talk about third parties, except sometimes gransnetters' family members. They are directly abusive to the person who has received them. That is far nastier and more spiteful than whatever victimisation you are talking about.

Good for you Kali I can unserstand why you feel the need to say that, I felt I had to too as I am one of the ones who has been unjustly referred to in the nasty PMs.

Please don't go, you are one of the good guys and we need more like you.

This thread is not important because GN are never going to change anything just to suit the members.

I like surreal too.

PS nor have I ever received an unkind one, they all have been very supportive.

Can I make it very clear that I have never sent Absent an unkind or spiteful PM. I am still here until later on today.

I think it highly likely that the people who have been unpleasant to others in PMs are reading this thread and, hopefully, regretting what they have done. I really do hope that they are not so arrogant as to think they are for some reason a special case and think it acceptable to behave in this way just because a PM is of necessity private. Having never sent or received such a PM I wonder at the mentality of someone who wants to stir things up in this way. They must be very unhappy people and I feel sorry for them.

Learnergran My point was really that those who want to be heard on the subject of their grievances would not use a thread which is going to sink off the bottom of the list if no-one had used it for a while.They might not even know that it existed. They add posts to the thread on which the attack happened, or start another one (or just vanish without announcing their departure)