Save the date cards

I think it is still okay to say no when the time comes. It is always a good idea to be polite – we are sorry that we shall not be able to attend your wedding/your child's christening/your civil partnership/your 60th birthday party etc. – I don't think you have to give a specific reason. You may have 18 months' warning, but who knows what is going to crop up in that time from ill health to a new baby? (Well, okay, most of us are not directly going to have a new baby but there is always the possibility of another grandchild.)

I hate them. We managed well enough without them until some bright spark came up with a new way to make more money for his card making company.

Never heard of them.

Must be because I've never received one - how sad is that?

Haven't a clue either - tell us more!

A Save the Date card is sent to inform you that a function has been arranged for a particular date (often quite a way in advance) and asking you to keep that date free - then nearer the time a formal invitation to that function is usually sent. I'm with vampirequeen - I don't like 'em!!

I get them!
After the date of the event!

Goodness, what will they think of next? I'd never heard of these cards either. I think you're right, vampirequeen about why they were invented. (I thought the person who thought up "Congratulations on your divorce" cards was pushing it a bit, but then I suppose some people are really happy when the divorce comes through and a congratulations card is what's needed.) Wonder if anyone will ever send me a Save the Date card and if they do, if I will remember to save the date?

Ah..have had two this year ...but not real cards .. 'virtual' cards by email.. for weddings & my DD sent a save the date email out to her friends once the date was fixed. It was a bank holiday weekend so people who might have gone away at least could make a choice as to what they would prefer!

In formal old etiquette books it always said wedding invitations should be sent out 6 weeks before the wedding but I think nowadays people's lives are busy so it it a way of alerting people before the 'fine tuning' of an event (venue/times etc) have been finalised.

I received one in November for a wedding which will take place this summer. It is perfectly reasonable though as the event is happening abroad so will take a wee bit more planning than usual.

What happens if you "save the date "and then don't get an invitation?

That's the point gracesmum.
It means they are going to invite you, but they haven't chosen a colour scheme for the proper invitation cards yet.
It means that they get early warning if people can't come to the event. This is useful if the potential guest list is very long, as you can then invite the less important people, if you know some of the important ones can't come.
As I pointed out to DD2 a couple of years ago, if you don't send out your wedding invitations till 6 weeks before the big day, and then some people decline, it doesn't look great if you invite substitutes with only a week to go.
But what do I know......

I don't mind them. I stick the date on the calendar but it doesn't hold us to anything as it's not a formal invitation. Good to have plenty of warning and it can be used as an excuse to get out of something else.