I Dread Christmas, 2012

I'm sorry jess that you're already feeling lonely and dreading Christmas. Maybe you idealise it? I have some awful memories of Christmases with teenagers who would have rather been out with their friends or who would have preferred something else for a present.
Now we visit the Gcs but in Germany the magical time is Advent. I love that and it is not so family orientated but we often sit by candle light and eat ginger bread.
I get a sinking feeling about Christmas. In my childhood the house was cold, father drunk and by the time he came home he ( and later my brother) came home so late from the pub that the dinner was spoiled!
I am always relieved when it is over.

jodi

Big hugs anno I know another nearly 6-year old who lost both her parents in a car crash just before Christmas. Happily this one was rescued by a very special aunt who took her and her dog in on Christmas Eve.

Indeed.
Butty, we treat ourselves to all sorts of lovely things for two like petits fours, snails, half bottles of champagne and really good wine. We also eat the goose and the Christmas pudding, though.....

anno A little (hug) for your 6yr old.

soop

Thank you soop. .

anno (hugs) and

I know I am lucky at the moment but I'm not smug because the day may come when both DSs' families will be doing something else for Christmas. I have dreaded being alone for Christmas since I was alone in hospital with pneumonia 66 years ago and although I had a visit from Santa and loads of toys and books, nothing could make up for the absence of parents and sisters. That 6-year-old in a hospital bed has been known to come back and visit me in times of great stress.

Oh Butty...you are so right. Thanks for cheering me no end.

I accept I won't be with my sons, their partners nor my grandchildren this winter festival. We all know it won't be possible, but we all know we'd love it to be so.
That will be enough and I will gather my husband and myself with some candles, a simple meal and a few pickings from the garden. They will all be healthy and happy, and so will we.........sort of.

Ella That's so true.

I hate that question, and the pitying looks you get when you tell them!

...when I'm aware that far too many people are friendless and homeless.

...which seems very selfish.

I'm sending a special (hug) to all those who miss family, especially at Christmas. My idea of the perfect celebration, would be for us all [including grown-up grandchildren and their partners] to share a big, cosy house. I would be overjoyed with such an arrangement. As it is, everyone will do their "own thing" and I'm happy that they'll be happy. However, I still feel a great sense of emptiness, especially when people ask - what will you be doing at Christmas?

I'm not sure where I stand with DD since our tiff, even though we are talking again. We did have another Christmas a few years ago when we'd upset them and spent Christmas with the S.O's brother and family. I've been invited to some sort of Asian party on Christmas Day which could be a 'Christmas with a difference' but my son always wants us all to be together that day. I'm definately not spending as much this year; I can't afford to anyway. It's so much efort for just one day; we have to work twice as hard on the run up to it as everyone seems to think the world is coming to an end for several days. I do feel sorry for people who work in shops; I don't think they should open on Boxing Day at all.

Or clear up the acres of wrapping paper, Mamie! Last year, I was at DS2's home and the clearing up was complicated by the presence of two interfering kittens!

Does everyone else do the present opening on Skype? I find that makes a big difference. Last year we had Skype Premium so we could be linked with both of our children and their families at the same time. It was a bit chaotic (actually a bit like the early days of Eurovision song contest broadcasts), but it was lovely and there was even a glimmer of relief that we didn't have to deal with over-excited children afterwards!

absent that was a cry from the heart (((hugs)))

absentgrana given how poingnant your last post was, credit to you for retaining a sense of humour about Mr Absent's decline in his grooming habits. Big to you.

Incidentally, my problem is not that I don't like Christmas – quite the reverse. I love the tree and presents under it, holly, garlands, cooking including all the stuff to be made in advance from sloe gin and mincemeat to Christmas pudding. I don't mind being exhausted after two days of entertaining guests. I just miss my daughter and her family.

Mr absent and I will probably just get on with redecorating our house. As this is an integral part of our plan for going to live in New Zealand, it will be a) useful and productive, b) take our minds off the family from whom we are currently separated and c) doesn't involve wearing smart clothes and make-up, not that Mr absent wears much make up these days.

There is far too much pressure on us to comply with the advertisers vision of a 'perfect' xmas. It doesn't have to be like that.

I feel for those who want to be with their families and can't be for whatever reason but perhaps it's time to discover an alternative xmas. Whether that is having a duvet day or getting together with others in a similar situation or finding out if there is anywhere needing a volunteer if you are able.

I also feel for those who don't want to be with their families but think they have to be!

My kindest thoughts to those who are alone - not by choice, but by circumstance. It must be hard.

Ella46, I didn't ask why they hated Christmas but asked if they could share any coping mechanisms they had developed to deal with Christmas because these might help other people in the same situation.