What is rape?

It's a powerful article. Required reading? I would hope there's a better way to get its message across to boys and girls. It's a topic to talk about, not just to read about. Men who don't rape will find it shocking; just reading the article won't change those who do, or might.

I think the point is that many men do not consider what they are doing is rape - even otherwise very nice men.

My only point is that reading the article won't change behaviour. It needs discussion by men and women, greater understanding and awareness.

It needs discussion with sons.

Then we are in total agreement, but the article could be used as a starting point for a discussion.

…and daughters, but sons, most of all.

Certainly sons, and daughers need to be told that they can refuse sex at any time they choose.

Of course they can refuse, but it doesn't mean someone won't go ahead. We tend to think of rape as involving one man and one woman and, maybe a difference of opinion about consent. There is no difference of opinion about a young man and woman gazing at the stars, cuddling and kissing romantically and then a dozen or more young men swarming over a hill, knocking out a boyfriend and raping the woman.

Similarly, you can say no because your partner is violent and you want him to go. He is stronger than you are and your child is asleep in the room next door. He is angry and wants to hurt you. Anal rape is not a bucket of laughs, even though his has been your "loving" live-in partner for some years. Then you are so pathetic and under his thumb that you pull you clothes on and meekly walk round to the all-night garage to buy another packet of cigarettes.

I think most women would recognise that they could refuse in such situations but I know many women who have said they felt obliged to consent to sex because they found themselves in a difficult situation with a man with whom they had been sharing some intimacies, such as kissing and cuddling. This happened to me when I was about 16 - I was able to fight off the boy but he was very angry and accused me of being a 'pr*ck tease' and leading him on. I was very inexperienced and had no idea he would expect our fumblings to lead to full sex.
The 'defence' being put foward by Galloway, et al seems to be that once a woman has consented to sex with a man she cannot subsequently refuse it.
Within my memory, rape within marriage was not a crime.
I have heard other men claim that they could not stop themselves once they were in the throes of passion but I bet they could stop pretty quickly if an irate father appeared on the scene.

surely rape is a crime even if you are married to the person! if you have said no and are then raped its got to be illegal?

It is now, but I believe it only became a crime in 1991. Women had been campaigning for 100 years but there were not many women in parliament.

If a man gave me £20 one day because he was my friend /work colleague and I needed some cash would it be morally OK to help myself to money from his wallet on another day without asking?