Lil's Bar

soop a tickle with your feather duster sounds just the job....be careful in case he asks you to blow his cobwebs..
Take mr muscle and mr sheen for protection.....and juan sheet...

Littlenellie sound advice from a laydee of the world

nellie No need to check this evening.. fifi my housekeeper is in the middle of making my tea (she likes to wear her pinny for this). Tell Lil not to worry as a duster, feather or otherwise, seem alien to her but its no problem as I'll hoover after.
We intend to watch the closing of the Olympics as my housekeeper has promised it will end with a huge BANG....

And fireworks ????

Let's hope it doesn't turn out to be a damp squib....

Wonder if FIFA is a right cracker..or an old banger..

Whoops that should have been Fifi but perhaps right first time ...hope pete dosent score any own goals ....IPad has amind of its own

What a satisfying finish,so far - banging as well!
More fireworks later. { 'specially if Mrs G finds I've been printing off my own £21 notes to pay off my Ladee friends. It helps the "inflation"!)

Pete, I hear that you can have a right old ball with your young (maid?) FIFA!

Fantastic!! Fireworks, stars and a stunning climax to the night. (Olympic closing ceremony not bad as well)
nellie I woke refreshed and my housekeeper was busy preparing a 'Full English' AND my wallet is still here so thats a first.....

Pete...of course your wallet is still with you...after all, there's nowt in it, apart from several dodgy, dog-eared IOU's

...plus little balls of fluff and a long deceased moth...

soop .. The moth has been removed but you are right about the balls of fluff (why are they always blue?)
The iou's belong to gramps...he is smitten by your ankles!! mind you its all he can see of you laying on the bar floor.. (gramps NOT you soop)

Pete Don't tell me that gramps is still prostrate. Last time I saw him he doing his best to pretend he was as good as upright...he's such a crafty old codger, will do anything to catch a glimpse of a becoming ankle.

Haven't you noticed how often gramps 'accidentally' drops his peanuts on the floor of the bar, soop? It's only so that he can grovel around on his hands and knees while ogling your ankles - you may have to invest in some wellies!

Ana...Yay! Got a big pair of wellies that I used to wear when feeding Rory [the feral cat with attitude.] Once upon a time he went for my ankles. He's since matured and now treats me with a smidgeon of respect. Do you suppose Gramps will ever grow up? Hope not.

Oh, I'm sure he won't, soop! I'd like to be a fly on the floor, though, when he pretends to pass out (again) and comes face to face with your wellies instead of the objects of his fetish fancy!

Move over gramps, too much partying last night with The Who. Daren't let them know I really mean WHO?
My knees are black and my tights are in shreds, I've lost an earring and my thong is tying up someones' tomatoes!

Any chance of a cuppa soop? If not a pot noodle will do!

How did I get splinters in that?

How about a nice bowl of tripe and onions, Ella? That'll cure your hangover memory loss!

Oh dear me, Ana I worked with a shoe fetishist back in the 50's. I was just a teenager. Had no idea what he was up to when he asked me [over Dairylea-spread rolls in the staff lunchroom] if he could kiss my feet. I remember blushing and replying something along the lines of...'I would feel embarrassed...' He was a pleasant enough young man, though he used to reek of TCP. The things you remember...

If he wanted to kiss your feet, soop, I'd say his fetish was feet rather than shoes..... (Unless, of course, it was just a ruse to get you to take them off so he could have his wicked way with them )

Ana I wore stilettos in 'those days'. Long time ago. I'm now a Mary-Jane lover.

Shh! soop (don't worry, your secret's safe with me...)

The tripe and onions Ana are covered in hundreds of flies, all waiting to see gramps slobber over soop's ankles!
I've got my memory back now hangover's nearly gone
It was Pete who tied dusters to my hands and knees for some reason! It's the last time I give him a full English

Ella! You are the mysterious 'Fifi!!
Well, I might have known am shocked, I thought you had had it with men, or was that just a confession?

I most definitely am not Fifi! Honestly! Can't a girl have a bottle or two without being accused of loose morals?

I have had it with men! well most of them only once!