A very senior moment

That's wonderful, absent!

absent priceless !!! has mr.absent recovered yet ?

absent has Mr Absent recovered from the shock.

glass great minds ?

I thought I had posted twice

Bless him - he must have thought it was his birthday and Christmas rolled into one! HAVE you stopped blushing yet?

You have heard of Freudian slips haven't you absent ...

absent and Jess -

absent wonderful!

I loved it!

Every Wednesday my nearly 94 yr old mother asks her hairdresser for a blow job. How the poor woman keeps a straight face I'll never know.

merlotgran

'Thanks absent - a laugh out loud moment!

absent merlot

That's what comes of writing porn novels!!

Was in school once on Shrove Tuesday when the head, who was was making pancakes in assembly in front of all the kids ..'I am not much of a tosser' says she....

A friend I knew went to a Public school many years ago - the maths teacher would often announce that the next lesson would be a maths debate [say it quickly]

snigger, snigger went the class!

At Heckmondwike grammar school around 1958 my friend was sitting next to a cupboard in a Latin lesson, when she suddenly noticed that the broken knob had been fixed. So this parson's daughter piped up and said "Have you had your knob mended, sir?"

The innocence of some and the naughtiness of others!! Always a 'snigger' combination.. in the best seaside postcard tradition!

My grandmother enjoyed drinking PLJ (pure lemon juice) bought from the local chemist. However, getting older and slightly confused, she regularly asked for LSD. Fortunately the staff knew her and handed over the lemon juice without comment.

The things teachers say could start a whole new thread!!
A colleague of mine many years ago was basing her weekly spelling list on the maths being taught that week which was fractions. She went through the usual - quarter, sixth etc. As I walked in she was saying to her class of nine year olds - don't forget the f in twelfths. Quite a moment! Fortunately the children didn't notice a thing - such innocence!

When I was a science teacher there were 2 things one had to steer around carefully.
1. there was a piece of work on waves that had to be done early in "3rd year" - Y9. In order to create those waves across a water tank there was a bit of kit called a vibrator. Or "this thing that vibrates" as I used to say.
2. The "unfortunately named Wankel engine" - no way round it, had to preempt the sniggers by getting in first.

In that same waves topic, there was also a thing where there was a large perspex tank and teech had to make big waves on it with a plunger. Darn thing disintegrated one lesson, depositing about 3 gallons of water at my feet. Rest of lesson spent mopping up and laughing. Never really got control of that particular class after that - they kept waiting for another disaster.

Our local Chinese restaurant has an assistant who always asks us, "D'you wanna fork 'n' tray?" (say it quickly...!)