How odd, and definitely no fun

Oh yes alie - lovely.
the poor cod, battered and the much luckier prunes, stoned...
ASDA fizzy water is astoundingly cheap, and you will be glad to know that it it "good for hydration"

How about 'This Door is Alarmed'.

What upset it?

I've read about signs on front gates 'Beware of the dog: the cat has a bad attitude too'

It was probably Arabic to start with I think, translated....

Oh Alieoxen I just couldn"t stop laughing about the 2nd part of your post _ the couscous , just loved it

At one time disabled parking spaces were labelled 'Invalid Parking Only' - My young daughter wondered why it was o.k. to park invalidly.

No - not just you, wisewoman!

I still smile when I think of a sign I saw outside a seaside theatre. It advertised a performance by Chas and Dave (blast from the past) but underneath in small print it said "not the original Dave". I am laughing even as I type this - is it just me?

I've always wondered about 'Disabled Car Parks' how did they get that way?

Yes, or any other performance advertised as 'live'. What's the alternative?

I used to like the one advertising a local event, "Live Machine Knitting".

When my colleague and I used to go to London for meetings, I was always amused by the sign on the escalator that said "Dogs must be carried"

What do you do if you haven't got one?

Many years a go I used to go to green grocers that advertised "oboes" I' m afraid it took me a while to work it out, as I was young and had never seen an aubergine, they didn't have many iin my part of Scotland when I was growing up..

A lawnmower – not suitable for human consumption.

my friend bought a tin of curry from the local cheap shop that had instructions for warming in the hot sun?? could be a long wait.

Yes! I always thought it meant triffids!

I remember a packet of couscous I had....it gave instructions and then said at the end ...'and God willing you will have a lovely meal...'

Large plant crossing!

Triffids?

Slightly different but - I always laugh at signs saying 'Bill stickers will be prosecuted' 'cos I remember someone writing underneath 'leave poor old Bill S alone!. Same when there's a war film and they say 'Fire at will' - I always say 'leave poor old Will alone'.

I have a new microwave where the instructions - a very bad translation from the Chinese - are written as if there are 99 seconds in a minute and 99 minutes in an hour! The decimal clock has arrived!!! in my kitchen anyway.

On a bottle of fizzy water: "suitable for vegetarians"

On a packet of cashews "Caution: may contain nuts."

Oh, you old cynic, phoenix!

Porbably not, because no doubt some people might buy them in the hope that they did, and then attempt to sue on disappointment grounds.

Wonder if the cheapo fillers bear the message:

CAUTION! Flashing and grinning may occur!

I don't think either of them are!

Yes, agree - mine's no fun at all!