I need an ear and to talk this situation through,and I know my friends won't let me down...right here goes.
The situation,Husband and I separated,both have partners of 8/9 years,relationship with all parties friendly and supportive,XDH have one surviving son,and DGD of my daughter who died is with me after extensive court battle with her father( different issue) DGD was brought up to the age of 4 in an environment of domestic violence and has issues surrounding her mums death which was attributed to DV,she is prone to anger outbursts where she will trash things in her room in a fit of rage she has had therapy on and off since 2005 and we are awaiting a referral to leeway which is an organisation helping children from these backgrounds needless to say waiting list is long.
The Problem
XDH and nanny sue live 150 miles away work full time and help where they can albeit in a limited way,they have given on many occasions expensive gifts,such as cameras,photographic equipment,jewellery,mainly I feel to cover that can't do much else,DGD was given a reconditioned laptop that nanny sue had looked after and at considerable cost to both of them refurbished for her 13th birthday in February a problem with the system ensued and in temper she pulled of most of the keys,and broke a metal bed frame also donated by them,she has already trashed a laptop we bought her for her homework by smashing the screen for the same reason,on that occasion I managed to claim on my house insurance,nanny and GD where aware of this,and also of her behaviour although they haven't seen full extent in action.NS and GD are coming to stay this weekend and I have just had to tell GD,and NS is quite outspoken,GD was v upset I could hear the hurt in his voice sue will be justly angry,OH is going to say what he thinks and I fear all my peacekeeping which has been difficult at times will be in vain,but I can all of the arguments and sides,and don't want all that to have been in vain........your views and advice will be very welcome as I am feeling quite bruised about this,and worn out with peacekeeping...I. Have said to GD please in a nice way not to buy expensive gifts and if possible perhaps contribute to school trips and things,they are also very generous with gifts and loving people and I so hate to see people hurt and upset......sad nellie.
