need a friend

Oh Green same I could clown for Britain,and even now humour is my defence mechanism people do not believe I am shy,I will talk to people and make people feel comfortable....then go home and worry what they thought of me

We learn so much from each other. Underneath we are not so unalike...it's just that a few GN have confidence to spare and share

Like HildaW I'm tall, too. At school I was the class clown and carried on acting the fool through most of my life, I think. It somehow seemed easier to do that than being totally ignored because I was shy!

More likely the women thought their husbands would fall for you, Greatnan!

I found several friends shied away when I got divorced - I think their husbands thought I would infect them!

And me!

That's me to a T Hilda. I had to be super-confident on the surface before I retired, but for the whole of my career I had this notion that one day I would be rumbled and someone would notice I was a gibbering wreck underneath and say 'what are you doing in this job?'

I do talk too much when I'm feeling uncomfortable - I'm never sure if I've said enough to convince people that I'm being genuine or that they have understood me, so won't be offended if I say something that could be misinterpreted. Fortunately, I've got a couple of close friends who I don't have to explain myself to!

Oh SOOP, thats so familiar.....I seem far more confident than I really am, years of covering up a lack of confidence. My other problem is that I'm tall and a size 16. Over the years people have said things, even to my face assuming that I have a thick skin and am emotionally tough. I admit that I suffer from the odd dose of 'foot in mouth' when I'm rattling away to cover up my embarrassment, but I always apologise profusely. Hey ho! At least I don't get in a muddle talking to the dog!

I think a lot of the time I look a bit like the 'confused' emoticon, Anagram - never very sure if I've said or done the right thing!!

And some of us without even the 'bubbly exterior'!

There are a few of us, I think, SOOP !

green -'underneath the bubbly exterior...' there is a person who goes under the name of Soop

As soon as my very close friend's husband retired, she began to withdraw from the things we did together. We used to chat on the phone most days and drive off to do and see different things. I had a feeling that it would happen this way because he's quite a controlling person, so wasn't surprised when it did happen. Sometimes now, it's hard to carry on a conversation when we see each other because he's always there (!) and anyway, we no longer seem to have the same things in common, somehow. Like crimson, I often worry about if I'm taking up someone's time when I'm phoning or when visiting, and I'm wary of outstaying my welcome. People that I meet seem to think I'm a confident person, but that's really not the case - underneath the bubbly exterior, I'm wobbling inside!

carol -That's a great way of putting it!

I like looking at people's profiles, particularly if they have a photo. Mind you , if I were the jealous type I would have gone right off one of my favourite members because she is just too damned good looking! (You know who you are.)

Me too, glass. It's like popping into the village coffee shop and finding all your mates in there!

glass I cannot begin to thank Gransnet for all the good it has done for me. Whenever I log on, it feels as if I'm entering a comfortable room filled with welcoming people.

soop that brought a lump to my throat.

nuttynana Since I joined the happy band of Gransnetters, my lonely days are well and truly over...

Guess if you want to meet like minded people do the things that interest you makes sense.

Gosh! I have so many friends I can scarcely keep in touch with you all! You know what is good about this, no one is judging any of us by our age , our looks, our clothes ,our accents or whatever else it is that holds people back from reaching out to be a friend . I guess we all have a certain maturity, varying amounts of wisdom and lots of experience. We realise what matters most in life and I for one am supremely grateful that I found this site.

I am going to carry on doing things that I think I might enjoy and see what comes. I think that has been my philosophy all along , I can appreciate the freedoms that come from doing things alone , there are some, I can stand for ages watching the birds on my own .I think I was just getting a bit down and I haven't chatted this much for ages!

grannyactivist...to believe not to matter is the saddest and loneliest place to be.

nuttynana Another billy no mates here but quite happy and do not feel lonely. I would also like to be your friend and anyone else who belongs to gransnet.

Oh SOOP how typical of you to say the one really important thing - we all need to know that we matter to someone. Vanya we're all queueing up to chat to you and looking forward to hearing from you.

Dear nuttynan ...and you have another friend. Keep chatting to us. You matter