Anybody else up yet?

Like Jess I was going to suggest if he has friends that you could talk to so that you might be able to get their view on this dreadful situation. I'm so sorry syberia - huge support here for you xx

I have some experience with a fantasist of this kind, though fortunately not quite so destructive. In that case, I think she was not consciously lying. She really did believe her own fantasies. I also believe that she had issues arising from over-use of cannabis.
I think your DH is right to distance himself from your son but understand why you feel you can't. However, it may be that you have to accept that there are some things that mother-love just can't put right. Unless your son is willing to admit that he is sick and seek treatment there is little you can do, and if you keep trying to persuade him, you are likely to further alienate him and make things a lot more harrowing for yourself. Does he have any friends or other relatives you can talk to about him? Does he trust anyone?
Meanwhile, you can unload on us any time. We're here for you. x

syberia I feel for you.

Syberia just a thought - if your son recognises today that something's not right, the local A and E department will help with a triage assessment and an interview with someone from the Mental Health Crisis Team. They can help with urgent treatment and admission (if needed) and are the fastest route to getting help - depends on your son's cooperation, though. Hope today goes well for you x

Good morning, No wonder you can't sleep. It does sound like he has had some ongoing psychiatric issues for a long time and that he is more unwell now. It must be hard though to see this when you have been in the firing line and continue to be. I can understand why your OH is at the end of his tether.
I have been through the experience of having an adult son with cancer, but that was a total walk in the park compared to having a son with psychiatric illness.
My other son had a longish period of being fairly grumpy with me and that was horrible. But it was minor compared to this. Your son sounds a bit out of touch with reality rather than just in a grumpy, parent-blaming phase.
Does he have any friends, siblings or anyone that you are able to contact to see what they think regarding his apparent deterioration?
What I suggest you do is to start a thread entitled something like "my son has psychiatric issues - advice please". There are a number of members of gransnet who have backgrounds in this area I think - but they may not spot your posts on this early riser/insomnia thread. Gransnet is getting bigger and I suspect that few people read all the threads.
Another place you might go for advice is the charity Mind.
One thing is that you will be able to get some support here.

Hello Syberia, as others have said it is clear your son has relapsed into mental ill-health and he needs to be helped as soon as possible. He won't be able to reason with you at the moment, and while he should usually be the one that seeks help, I wonder whether he needs some direction from you and/or his GP. It is worth contacting the surgery and asking if you can tell them what has happened, so they can make a judgement. I hope you are going to be ok after this horrible experience, and your husband will take care of you. Please let us know how you are doing during the course of the day, won't you? Love and best wishes x

Syberia this is a dreadful situation you find yourself in and I am so sorry to read how distressed you are. I strongly agree with the other posters that your son is ill and needs help and that you must look after yourself. Your son really does have to be the one to seek help first.
You will have tremendous support here, on Gransnet.
Do keep in touch if you can, and all the very best. Take care.x

Oh Syberia. I don't know what to say. How awful for you. He really needs some help and quickly and I think you do too. The trouble is the request for help has to come from him unless, of course, he is a danger to himself or anyone else. Is there an intermediary who could talk to him? I am sure there are other GNs who will be able to advise you about this - I can only send you and hugs. I hope you got some sleep? You must try and look after yourself first xx

Oh, syberia! Your son is ill. I hope someone can help him, but I think your husband is right to step back. There is probably nothing you and your DH can do and seeing your son as you saw him yesterday will make you ill. Your DH does not want that and that's what motivates him. Heartfelt sympathy xx

Can't sleep, have had the most awful day with my son of 35 years.

We have had problems for years and years with him. He gets himself into all sorts of situations and has had to move countless times because of this. We have always helped him. The thing is, he is a real Walter Mitty character. Over the years he has told so many lies I honestly don't think he knows what the truth is anymore. OH and I have had many fallings out with son over the years because of this, but we always repair the rift, always us that does the repairing.
Today was one of those days when I tried to repair the latest falling out.
We met on neutral territory (Sainsbury's cafe) at his request. Right from the outset, he was extremely aggessive in his attitude. He started accusing me of all sorts of things, none of which were true. He said that we had never been there for him when he was homeless for 5 years. He was not homeless for 5 years. He said we weren't there for him when he was in a mental institution for 3 months. He was never in a mental institution. there were many more accusations, but I won't list them. He was more and more abusive and I just ended up sobbing. There was no reasoning to be had. I had to walk away. I collapsed outside and people were very kind.
OH has said enough is enough and that he is going to disown him from now. I don't think I can do that.

I don't know why I am telling all of you this, I think I have probably just reached my limits.

Thanks for listening

AAh Faye, I think most people feel younger on the inside don't they. What an emotional time for you with the baby arriving as well. Be gentle with yourself, it takes a time.

Faye, my Mum was O.K. at 90 but she simply didn't want to be 91 for some reason. She declined after that, lost her will to fight, and died two months after her birthday. (Her Mum had died at 97 so I couldn't understand the 91 business).
Hugs for you.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts, it does help. I am missing her and it still feels unreal that she has gone. Em, Mum's 89th birthday would have been on Wednesday and when I mentioned that she was 89 she told me she was still only 88. I think she didn't like the idea of getting old, not realising that she was already very old.

Sorry to hear your sad news. Mums are special and remain in our thoughts. I often catch myself saying things my Mum would have said. I still have recipes she wrote out for me! for you.xx

Faye My condolences too (hugs). My mum died 9 years ago and I miss her still. Especially as my dad is so frail now and I promised her that I would look after him. I get comfort from talking things over with her in my head.
Your mum will always be with you.

Faye I've only just caught up with this thread and found your sad news, I'm so sorry. It's a difficult time. My own Mum died nearly 20 years ago and I still miss her dreadfully and want to talk to her about things, I still do talk to her when I'm out walking the dog when I hope no-one can hear me! My DS has just emigrated to Canada and I have found this to be a really sad time. My brother did exactly the same thing many many years ago and I never appreciated at the time just how it affected my Mum, now I understand just how she felt and feel guilty that I didn't offer her more support at the time.
Remember the happy times and memories.

Hello Faye. I've thought about you a lot over the last couple of weeks but knew you'd get back to us when you were ready. I'm very aware of your loss as today would have been my Mum's 90th birthday. Can't help thinking of how the party might have been - including the 9 greatgrandchildren who've arrived in the last 5 years. I think that in future you'll find it comforting that she did see the new baby. Please stay in touch.

SorryFaye I missed your post too, very sorry to hear about your mum, thinking of you.

Good morning Faye. I've only just read your post, and I'm so sorry to hear of your sad news. Warm wishes to you.

Faye only just caught up on yesterday's news. So sorry to hear about your mother. (((hug)))
Today I'm going to accompany my daughter and grandson to a children's Christmas party. They're usually sad events that I go to with my daughter, so it'll be good to go to a happy occasion. I wonder what the little one will make of Santa?

Exactly! I went back to bed about 5.00 but was thinking...couldn't tell you about what, though!

Morning Ariadne we must have woken around the same time. Going to be tired later but its Sunday so if I want to crash out on the sofa later I will Now that my DGD has arrived I'm thinking about Christmas and making mince pies to freeze, oh and sausage rolls and pigs in blankets that I make loads of and pop into the freezer to cook on Christmas day. I do a lot of thinking in the middle of the night but then I'm to tired to actually do the stuff later in the day

Morning! (Yawn) I do notwant to be this awake at this time! No aches and pains, no indigestion, just woke up. Whinge, moan, whinge.....

Faye Sad news. A virtual (hug) from me. And to Skype xxx

Thanks again....I was supposed to go to a party tonight (its night time here) but thought no, cant be bothered. Instead I have been catching up on Gransnet and reading the Guardian. I was interested in what others thought of Cameron and the EU meeting. It's been so long since I have lived in the UK I am not sure what people think anymore on things such as the European Union.