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Care & carers

People not "getting the carers role"

(52 Posts)
62Granny Tue 22-Sept-26 20:33:37

My DH had stroke 9 years ago his disability is getting worse as he gets older, he isn't independently mobile any more. I have a group of friends who I meet regularly usually for coffee but occasionally lunch. One of the group just doesn't get that I am unable to meet up for long periods 2.5 to 3 hours maximum that includes my travel time. She constantly suggests days out or sometimes weekends away, or that we go places that would take longer than this . Every time I say that doesn't work for me but please go and enjoy I get a pathetic look and "oh I forgot" . Not sure what I can say , except smile and his I don't think she will change.

Luckygirl3 Mon 28-Sept-26 08:08:49

I realised that my grief was outstaying its welcome with other people. That's fair enough - nobody likes a whinger, so I changed my tune and kept my unhappiness inside.

Goodness that struck home with me! But I think that keeping my grief inside has contributed to my subsequent very poor health.

I sometimes feel that since widows begin to be virtually the norm after about 70 people just think "Oh, just another old lady living on her own" and fail to realise the impact of all that has gone before."

So we stay quiet and polish our bright exterior whilst crumbling inside.