Best Time To Move

I think you will miss your friends and your social life, it’s only 20 miles and if your son decides to move you will be stuck.

People in our village with small gardens are trying to find someone with a large garden to grow their vegetables in, then you share the proceeds of the garden, do you have a similar scheme in your village?

I would certainly think very carefully about moving, a good Social life isn’t something to be given up readily, I think you will know when you really have to move.
If your son lived further away 50 miles or so, then I would tell you to make a list of pros and cons but 20 miles is nothing.

it feels like you are asking two questions:

Do I still want the responsibilities of a house going ahead into the future

and

Do I want to live nearer son.

It does seem to me the 20 miles isn't too far, but you might want to find a way to address the first concern.

Perhaps son will be happy if you are in easy to look after accommodation despite the 20 miles since you are happy where you are.

Always a difficult decision, Allsorts, but all I will say is that it's better to make the decision to move into more "age-friendly" accommodation while you are still both physically and mentally fitted to do so. Fortunately, in our case the decision was partially made for us, as my widowed Mum peacefully passed away in her sleep 12 years ago now, when DH and I were both 64. We sold our barn of a 4 bed, three storey Victorian terrace with large gardens, and downsized into her 2 bedroom detached bungalow, with low maintenance, gravelled gardens and shrubs and trees. It was only a move over some 7 miles, so no need to lose touch with friends locally. Best move we ever made. It needed quite a bit of updating, and we did all that with due attention to our ongoing needs in retirement. Also built a large, brick garden room with picture windows on two sides where the side porch had been, and we spend most of the daylight hours in it now. We've saved a fortune in heating bills over the years, and as we are both now finding that stairs/steps can be challenging, we are so grateful that all is now on one level. As for moving nearer to your Son, is he likely to stay put? If not, you may regret moving away from friends etc. However, as we're only talking about 20 miles, perhaps a bungalow or apartment where you are now might be a good compromise. Hope it all works out, but if you're already struggling with your current property, perhaps it's time to bite the bullet and to move on.

20 miles? many people live further than that from their children after they move closer, at most a 45 minute drive. We live 200 miles and 100 miles respectively from our children and are under no presure to move, even though we will both be 80 this year.

Stay in the area you are settled and happy with friends and a social life around you, but sell up and buy a smaller house and garden, or flat in the same area.

I would say stay in the area you are settled in especially if you have a good group of friends and activities.
We moved 11 years ago and I am now realising DH gets all the perks from it not me. We live in a small village with no social activities which there were when we came here, not even a shop. DH can still follow all his hobbies I have to travel to do mine.
If the house is too big for you down size within your own area and make sure amenities are within walking distance. My family both live over 200 miles away they have asked us to move nearer but as others have pointed out they might have to move with their jobs and then we would be struck again.
My advice would be to stay where you are happy for the foreseeable future and downsize if you cannot cope.

I think Monica sums it up very well.

Thank you so much, I have taken on boards what you have all said.