My mum wants to die and it’s all she talks about

My Mum would not accept a doll, she took one look at it and said 'take it away I don't want it I'm not a baby. A doll was the last thing she wanted. She'd have accepted a kitten, but we were afraid of trips and falls.
Sadly she lived till she was 100 and was miserable.

Well done Betty.

This is such an important time in your Mum's life and you have had the courage to let her talk about it and make her wishes known. I applaud you.

Betty - I'm nearly as old as your mum so have a similar point of view.
To you daughters, talking about death is, hopefully, about something far away.
To us, it's something more familiar, often thought about. just around the corner. We're not here forever.
Thank God I still have a husband and we often talk about it. He always says we need to go together. So hoping he's not planning a joint car crash.
But I know our oldest daughter, who we see most of, feels the same as you older folk. I daren't tell her how we feel about death, she would crack up.
Perhaps that's the difference with your mother Betty, she seems to have lost the social skill to imagine your feelings.

ps correctiion - you YOUNGER folk.

Thanks so much everyone- you have no idea how you have helped me. I found a poignant saying today which I hope helps us all.
Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles - it takes away today’s peace.

That's lovely, Betty65

A few have mentioned a doll. That brought back memories if when i was a carer, awwww it was absolutely so lovely.

I went to a new lady and she was in bed ( morning call ) it must have been winter time because i remember the bedroom being pitch black.

I made myself known and asked if i could put the light on, which i did and there in bed with this wonderful lady was a baby NOT A REAL BABY, it was a doll that looks just like a baby.

Anyway, i sat on the edge of her bed as she told me that her 3 children had grown up, married, moves away and she missed them so she bought herself ( maybe 1 of her daughters or granddaughters bought her it ) a baby doll that she could nurse and love.

I almost had tears in my eyes, what a wonderful experience that was for me to witness.

Just thought i would share that with you because when a few Grans had mentioned the doll, it brought that particular experience back to me.

You sound very kind Serendipity. My Mum loved babies and dolls.

My DH decided that he had had enough after Christmas and died peacefully in his excellent nursing home. I had agreed with the GP and the home that there would be no intervention and signed the relevant form, and DH had the death we both wanted for him. I am immensely supported by feeling that I did the right thing and that I was brave enough to get him to talk about what he wanted while he was still capable of having such a conversation - not easy but definitely right.

Well done GrannySomerset. Not easy but definitely the right thing. I hope you find comfort in that.